WWYD? Family (*Friends*) Debating Policies

[Leigh]

Hi ! WWYD , I have a friend who is going back to work temporarily. She'll be full time for 4 months, and her daughter will be attending daycare here, knowing full well she is only full time for 4 months. No big deal, I'm ok with helping a friend out. She tell me yesterday that her and hubby are ok with contract and policies EXCEPT: they don't want to pay for sick days, they don't want to pay for vacation days (I take partial fee for a week, and no pay for one, over the course of a year- families have the same treatment with fees for THEIR vacay) and they don't want to pay for stat holidays.

So....how would I treat this one?? I'm already going out on a limb for them, and I think they're wonderful and their baby is amazing. We're quite good friends, but at what point do you say " wait a minute, this is a business not a charity" ...... I'm just not sure how to go about this. I won't even be taking vacation while their daughter is in my care...she's only here till Feb!

Quite simply say "I'm sorry, but I can't do that. If it's in my contract, it's non-negotiable. I have to treat the space the same no matter who fills it. This is my livelihood, and I can't afford to discount any more than I already have.". If they choose to go elsewhere, let them walk.

[Emsdayhome]

wow thanks so much for all the responses everyone! unfortunately.....I caved under pressure. I did up her rate a tad though, and told her that if she can't make that adjustment, then it just won't work out. I also told her that some of the policies she's arguing, CANNOT be changed and I won't change them even for her, so if she wants to pick another daycare (*she told me she had received notice that her spot in xyz daycare was available at a much higher rate) . I told her what xyz will expect as it's a centre, vs. my home and that their rates are much higher than mine (almost double) so if she can't afford me...she certainly can't afford them, but it's up to her in the end.

Wish I had seen all your wonderful responses FIRST! . I'll just fill her full time spot as soon as I can...with my policies in place.

[littlemissmuffet]

The first rule in my daycare is no friends, no family... no exceptions.

The second rule is NO DISRESPECT toward me, my family or my home. To me your friend was extremely disrespectful in asking you to make chages to your business for her - especially when she's only considering being a temporary client. RUDE! I would have said "Sorry Jane, this is MY business is this is how I operate MY business. My policies are non-negotiable and the fact you even questioned my policies (and obviously don't feel I'm entitled to paid holidays) shows me this won't work. Good luck in your continued search." I wouldn't even have given her a second chance!

[Leigh]

The first rule in my daycare is no friends, no family... no exceptions.

The second rule is NO DISRESPECT toward me, my family or my home. To me your friend was extremely disrespectful in asking you to make chages to your business for her - especially when she's only considering being a temporary client. RUDE! I would have said "Sorry Jane, this is MY business is this is how I operate MY business. My policies are non-negotiable and the fact you even questioned my policies (and obviously don't feel I'm entitled to paid holidays) shows me this won't work. Good luck in your continued search." I wouldn't even have given her a second chance!

I agree that friends/family and daycare don't mix well. I DO provide care for a friend's child occasionally (during daycare hours), but I do NOT charge her for it. A friend doing a favor-no problems. A friend you do business with-big problems.

[Starburst]

After that I would tell her that the only thing in my policies that is going to change would be "I do not provide child care for the children of my friends and family".

[Familycare71]

After that I would tell her that the only thing in my policies that is going to change would be "I do not provide child care for the children of my friends and family".

happyface

[JoseyJo]

after that i would tell her that the only thing in my policies that is going to change would be "i do not provide child care for the children of my friends and family".

!!

[TheGoodLife]

wow thanks so much for all the responses everyone! unfortunately.....I caved under pressure. I did up her rate a tad though, and told her that if she can't make that adjustment, then it just won't work out. I also told her that some of the policies she's arguing, CANNOT be changed and I won't change them even for her, so if she wants to pick another daycare (*she told me she had received notice that her spot in xyz daycare was available at a much higher rate) . I told her what xyz will expect as it's a centre, vs. my home and that their rates are much higher than mine (almost double) so if she can't afford me...she certainly can't afford them, but it's up to her in the end.

Wish I had seen all your wonderful responses FIRST! . I'll just fill her full time spot as soon as I can...with my policies in place.

Honestly, it's never too late. I wold just contact her tomorrow and say something along the lines of, "I'm sorry, but after thinking about the situation we discussed yesterday, I realized that I cannot break my contract's policies for one family without being unfair to everyone else. I value our friendship, but my business is a business and I have policies that everyone must adhere to. While I would love to watch Susie for you, I understand if you want to take her to XYZ daycare, but please let me know your decision by Monday (or another date) so I know whether or not I can offer it to the next person in line. Thanks!"
Why should YOU lose out on money to help a friend? :confused: Shouldn't SHE be giving you at least what people who are not your "friends" give you to care for their children? Would you expect her to give you money if you wanted/needed it? That is essentially what she is asking of you when she asks to break your policies and not charge her for what you are entitled to by your contract. You should not be in a position to lose your hard-earned salary just to give your friend a break!

[Play Care]

Honestly, it's never too late. I wold just contact her tomorrow and say something along the lines of, "I'm sorry, but after thinking about the situation we discussed yesterday, I realized that I cannot break my contract's policies for one family without being unfair to everyone else. I value our friendship, but my business is a business and I have policies that everyone must adhere to. While I would love to watch Susie for you, I understand if you want to take her to XYZ daycare, but please let me know your decision by Monday (or another date) so I know whether or not I can offer it to the next person in line. Thanks!"
Why should YOU lose out on money to help a friend? :confused: Shouldn't SHE be giving you at least what people who are not your "friends" give you to care for their children? Would you expect her to give you money if you wanted/needed it? That is essentially what she is asking of you when she asks to break your policies and not charge her for what you are entitled to by your contract. You should not be in a position to lose your hard-earned salary just to give your friend a break!

One of the things that I'm trying to work on is to not say yes or no to a client but give it a day or two to think about it. There is nothing wrong with telling them "I need to think about that, let me get back to you" and then make them wait a couple of days.
I also don't think there is anything wrong with changing your mind. A few years ago when I was starting out I interviewed a woman who essentially wanted to tell me how I was going to do things for her. I took her deposit and then was just so torn up about it for days. After a lot of thinking I called her up, told her I didn't think we would be a good fit and sent her the deposit back. Yes it was uncomfortable and thankfully there was no other connection for me to have to deal with but we do live in a small town and I have seen her around. But I wound up getting two other clients who were AWESOME and I was so glad I didn't take her on!

[Leigh]

Honestly, it's never too late. I wold just contact her tomorrow and say something along the lines of, "I'm sorry, but after thinking about the situation we discussed yesterday, I realized that I cannot break my contract's policies for one family without being unfair to everyone else. I value our friendship, but my business is a business and I have policies that everyone must adhere to. While I would love to watch Susie for you, I understand if you want to take her to XYZ daycare, but please let me know your decision by Monday (or another date) so I know whether or not I can offer it to the next person in line. Thanks!"
Why should YOU lose out on money to help a friend? :confused: Shouldn't SHE be giving you at least what people who are not your "friends" give you to care for their children? Would you expect her to give you money if you wanted/needed it? That is essentially what she is asking of you when she asks to break your policies and not charge her for what you are entitled to by your contract. You should not be in a position to lose your hard-earned salary just to give your friend a break!

Good advice above. I tell acquaintances who ask me to watch their kids (for backup care) that my license depends on me charging everyone the same. If I were to discount $1 per hour for one kid, I'd HAVE to do it for all, and I can't afford to do so. For truly CLOSE friends, I watch their kids for free if I have the space-they're always more than willing to pay me back in favors when I need one!

[Denise]

Something else to consider .. her 4 months may very well turn into full time permanent ... if you changed your policies for her, then what?

She was probably a very supportive friend while she wasn't a client and now that she could be, she wants the rules changed? Nuh uh.

Stick to your guns girl.

[Laurel]

Honestly, it's never too late. I wold just contact her tomorrow and say something along the lines of, "I'm sorry, but after thinking about the situation we discussed yesterday, I realized that I cannot break my contract's policies for one family without being unfair to everyone else. I value our friendship, but my business is a business and I have policies that everyone must adhere to. While I would love to watch Susie for you, I understand if you want to take her to XYZ daycare, but please let me know your decision by Monday (or another date) so I know whether or not I can offer it to the next person in line. Thanks!"
Why should YOU lose out on money to help a friend? :confused: Shouldn't SHE be giving you at least what people who are not your "friends" give you to care for their children? Would you expect her to give you money if you wanted/needed it? That is essentially what she is asking of you when she asks to break your policies and not charge her for what you are entitled to by your contract. You should not be in a position to lose your hard-earned salary just to give your friend a break!

Exactly!!!

Laurel

[Laurel]

One of the things that I'm trying to work on is to not say yes or no to a client but give it a day or two to think about it. There is nothing wrong with telling them "I need to think about that, let me get back to you" and then make them wait a couple of days.
I also don't think there is anything wrong with changing your mind. A few years ago when I was starting out I interviewed a woman who essentially wanted to tell me how I was going to do things for her. I took her deposit and then was just so torn up about it for days. After a lot of thinking I called her up, told her I didn't think we would be a good fit and sent her the deposit back. Yes it was uncomfortable and thankfully there was no other connection for me to have to deal with but we do live in a small town and I have seen her around. But I wound up getting two other clients who were AWESOME and I was so glad I didn't take her on!

Laurel