DCM Request: Tips to Help Ditch The Binky

[Brooksie]

I have a dcg here who is about to turn 3. She has a woobie (which I support) and a binky that she uses at nap time. The binky irks me. I can't stand seeing kids who can independently walk in a store with a binky in their mouth. Its one of my biggest pet peeves. I ditched dd's when she was 13 mo old; She got a cold and couldn't use it any way so they all magically disappeared. It was a very smooth transition.

This girl is pretty much potty trained. She's working on her last week of being totally dry at DC and will be able to come to dc in underwear. But STILL has the binky at nap. I don't allow her to have it any other time of the day, but I've noticed at pick up she immediately asks mom if she can have woobie and binky and mom always says 'when we get to the car.'

Yesterday DCM stated that she was hoping to get rid of the binky since she's almost potty trained and said to dcg "maybe Ms. E knows a baby you can give your binky's too since you're going to be a big girl in underwear soon!" DCG didn't even respond obviously, not thinking that was a good idea. But then mom asked me if I had any suggestions. She said she took them all sometime last year and she had cut them all I guess is what she said and then said that lasted 2 days and you would have thought the world was coming to an end... This child is so relaxed and easy going I can't imagine her raising you know what.

I know how to wean a 1 year old off the bink... but a 3 year old? What would you guys suggest? Any creative ideas?

[Unregistered]

here is what I did with my own child

I took a really thick piece of yarn and tied it to her door knob, and tied the binky to the other end of it. If she wanted to **** it then she had to stand in the doorway and **** it. No toys or any other items were allowed to accompany her for her "binky break". She went the first day randomly to the door to **** her binky. At naptime she stood at the doorway and whined she was sleepy, was told she can lay down at anytime but binky stays on the door. By the end of day 2 she decided she didnt need Binky anymore because she did not want to stand in the doorway to **** it.. This may not work for every child but it worked wonderful for my child who was also hitting the 3 year old mark. My son on the other hand, I just cut back the amount of time he had it, when he was 12 months (naptime, bedtime). He potty trained completely at 18 months and assisted me in throwing them in the trash(excitedly). He never asked for them again.

[MyAngels]

I had the mom of a 3 year old who, with the help of her child, gather up all the pacifiers and wrap them up nicely as a "gift" to give to another baby. I have no idea if this other "baby" was real or hypothetical, but it seemed to work for them. It seemed a little over the top to me, but to each his own I guess .

[Blackcat31]

I have a dcg here who is about to turn 3. She has a woobie (which I support) and a binky that she uses at nap time. The binky irks me. I can't stand seeing kids who can independently walk in a store with a binky in their mouth. Its one of my biggest pet peeves.

A what????

Curious as to why you are okay with one "crutch/habit" and not another?

NO judgment....just curious.

[daycarediva]

Binkys are my own personal pet peeve. I have a 3yo dcb who has it in his mouth ALL THE TIME, his parent brings one in with them at pick up. He is fine without it here, all day, no issues. I don't even have one here. So I don't say a word.

The only thing I would suggest to dcm is to start reducing the time she has it (naps, car only maybe?) then ditch it in the car, then at naps.

[Josiegirl]

Trying to **** on a binky at 3, and talking and all that saliva, ick.....I had a dcg who gave hers up FINALLY at 4 but it was the grossest thing. The last one here who gave up a binky; the mom cut it like your dcm must have tried. For my dcg it magically worked.
There was another dcm who made a huge deal out of giving all her dd's binkies to the binky fairy and the binky fairy left something cool in return.

[Maria2013]

I have a 3yo dcb who has it in his mouth ALL THE TIME,

I used to allow kids to have a pacifier until the parent made the decision to stop...well I learned some parents never make that decision, (they leave it to the child) and I had a kid biting off a piece and almost choking on it!

The parents can do as they choose "at home" but from that day on, while the kids are in my care, I make the decision when it is time to remove the binky and I usually remove it around the second birthday or sooner if I see kids grinding their teeth on it

[Brooksie]

A what????

Curious as to why you are okay with one "crutch/habit" and not another?

NO judgment....just curious.

A woobie. Generally they are those blankets with the stuffed animal head attached. I call them "special things". My daughter has a small pink bunny that is her special thing, both my nephews have 'woobies', DCG has a woobie, and another dcb has a blanket. These things I think are important security/comfort items. I had a teddy bear and was very introverted. He was my 'best friend' and helped me through a lot of hard emotional issues I was going through. I think that's important for a young child to have.

But binkys are different. Yes it is a pet peeve of mine. But after a certain point it can cause dental problems and speech delays. Other than that its annoying to me. Binky's are for infants, not toddlers or kids that are potty training.. And weaning them young isn't generally difficult. Its the older they get the more attached they are to it, and that's generally a fault to the parents for not wanting to deal with the weaning or withdrawal.

[Blackcat31]

A woobie. Generally they are those blankets with the stuffed animal head attached. I call them "special things". My daughter has a small pink bunny that is her special thing, both my nephews have 'woobies', DCG has a woobie, and another dcb has a blanket. These things I think are important security/comfort items. I had a teddy bear and was very introverted. He was my 'best friend' and helped me through a lot of hard emotional issues I was going through. I think that's important for a young child to have..

Oh, ok... I had no idea what a woobie was

But binkys are different. Yes it is a pet peeve of mine. But after a certain point it can cause dental problems and speech delays. Other than that its annoying to me. Binky's are for infants, not toddlers or kids that are potty training.. And weaning them young isn't generally difficult. Its the older they get the more attached they are to it, and that's generally a fault to the parents for not wanting to deal with the weaning or withdrawal.

I do disagree though about the binky being different than a woobie.

It may totally be different to YOU but to the child it IS a comfort thing and a sense of security for some.

I have also read that it CAN be cause for dental issues and speech delays but honestly until it actually IS and the child's doctor and/or dentist is concerned about it, I don't think it's right to attach that concept to it.

I wouldn't think ANYTHIING different if I saw a 4 yr old with a Binky than seeing a 4 yr old with a woobie......kwim?

Personally BOTH my own children had paci's. My DD had one until age 12 months and my DS had one until he was 3.5. Neither of my kids have speech delays or dental issues. My DS NEVER took his paci out of his mouth.

For BOTH my kids, it was a security thing. A source of comfort for the stress, anxiety and/or uneasiness they felt when mommy had to leave them or wasn't with them.

For my DCK's I prefer they don't walk around with a paci in their mouths but not because of dental or speech concerns but due to sanitary or health concerns. I don't want someone else ****ing on it.

What I do is have them keep the paci in the PNP (on the counter for older kids) If they want to use it, it gets used in the PNP ONLY. For the older kids they have a designated spot they can sit and use it for as long as they feel they need to. It NEVER leaves the spot though.

Same rule applies to lovey's or anything else they have grown attached to.

I think taking a child's source of comfort away from them when they aren't ready to give it up could possibly cause more issues later that are bigger than dental and/or speech related.

[blandino]

I took a really thick piece of yarn and tied it to her door knob, and tied the binky to the other end of it. If she wanted to **** it then she had to stand in the doorway and **** it. No toys or any other items were allowed to accompany her for her "binky break". She went the first day randomly to the door to **** her binky. At naptime she stood at the doorway and whined she was sleepy, was told she can lay down at anytime but binky stays on the door. By the end of day 2 she decided she didnt need Binky anymore because she did not want to stand in the doorway to **** it.. This may not work for every child but it worked wonderful for my child who was also hitting the 3 year old mark. My son on the other hand, I just cut back the amount of time he had it, when he was 12 months (naptime, bedtime). He potty trained completely at 18 months and assisted me in throwing them in the trash(excitedly). He never asked for them again.

I like the selected area method. I have had parents who will cut it down to bed only. So if you want your paci, you have to go sit in bed and be bored. That is usually a big enough deterrent, while still allowing the access to it while they are giving it up.

Other DCMs have cut the tips off, so that there is less suction, therefore it just doesn't work and the child doesn't want it any more (in theory).

I am partial to the selected area/bed system. It gives them access to the soothing if they really need it, while limiting the positives about using it too. I have a new 3.5 year old boy whose mom brought me in a paci on day 1, completely a surprise to me, she said he takes it at nap only - but he walks in with it all the time.

At first I was stern about him only having t at nap. Then I realized if DCM let's him use it, then it is cruel of me to stop him while he is adjusting to a new daycare (had a TOUGH time transitioning), so I allowed him to lay on his mat and use it. He never did it for long, just when he needed to calm down.

[Heidi]

Oh, ok... I had no idea what a woobie was





I do disagree though about the binky being different than a woobie.

It may totally be different to YOU but to the child it IS a comfort thing and a sense of security for some.

I have also read that is CAN be cause for dental issues and speech delays but honestly until it actually IS and the child's doctor and/or dentist is concerned about it, I don't think it's right to attach that concept to it.

I wouldn't think ANYTHIING different if I say a 4 yr old with a Binky than seeing a 4 yr old with a woobie......kwim?

Personally BOTH my own children had paci's. My DD had one until age 12 months and my DS had one until her was 3.5. Neither of my kids have speech delays or dental issues. My DS NEVER took his paci out of his mouth.

For BOTH my kids, it was a security thing. A source of comfort for the stress, anxiety and/or uneasiness they felt when mommy had to leave them or wasn't with them.

For my DCK's I prefer they don't walk around with a paci in their mouths but not because of dental or speech concerns but due to sanitary or health concerns. I don't want someone else ****ing on it.

What I do is have them keep the paci in the PNP (on the counter for older kids) If they want to use it, it gets use din the PNP ONLY. For the older kids they have a designated spot they can sit and use it for as long as they feel they need to. It NEVER leaves the spot though.

Same rule applies to lovey's or anything else they have grown attached to.

I think taking a child's source of comfort away from them when they aren't ready to give it up could possibly cause more issues later that are bigger than dental and/or speech related.

DD had one just before she turned 2, but only kept it in bed or for extremely long car rides (so she would sleep). Still, my sis had a huge problem with it. I said "she can trade it for a Barbie when she's ready". Yeah, until one day I found her in her bed with the WHOLE pacifier in her mouth.

I tried the cutting-up thing, which just upset her terribly and caused a major drama. So, instead I just got rid of the rest when she wasn't looking, and they just disappeared. A little extra loving before bed that night, and we never looked back.

[Play Care]

I do disagree though about the binky being different than a woobie.

It may totally be different to YOU but to the child it IS a comfort thing and a sense of security for some.

I have also read that is CAN be cause for dental issues and speech delays but honestly until it actually IS and the child's doctor and/or dentist is concerned about it, I don't think it's right to attach that concept to it.

I wouldn't think ANYTHIING different if I say a 4 yr old with a Binky than seeing a 4 yr old with a woobie......kwim?

Personally BOTH my own children had paci's. My DD had one until age 12 months and my DS had one until her was 3.5. Neither of my kids have speech delays or dental issues. My DS NEVER took his paci out of his mouth.

For BOTH my kids, it was a security thing. A source of comfort for the stress, anxiety and/or uneasiness they felt when mommy had to leave them or wasn't with them.

For my DCK's I prefer they don't walk around with a paci in their mouths but not because of dental or speech concerns but due to sanitary or health concerns. I don't want someone else ****ing on it.

What I do is have them keep the paci in the PNP (on the counter for older kids) If they want to use it, it gets use din the PNP ONLY. For the older kids they have a designated spot they can sit and use it for as long as they feel they need to. It NEVER leaves the spot though.

Same rule applies to lovey's or anything else they have grown attached to.

I think taking a child's source of comfort away from them when they aren't ready to give it up could possibly cause more issues later that are bigger than dental and/or speech related.

The only time I allow pacis is at nap, no child is ever wandering around with one in their mouths. I let parents know that unless the child is biting it, causing a choking issue, I will not be the one to take it away and further, if they refuse to provide it and the child screams/refuses to nap, they can come get them.

I decided this a few years ago after a parent asked me to take the paci away at nap with their almost 3 yo. I asked how it was going at home, and they claimed he was doing well without it. I didn't give it to him and he screamed, blood curdling screams for two full hours. No one got any sleep and I'm still surprised my neighbors didn't call the police. When I further questioned the parents, they said that the only way they could get him to sleep at home without it was to have one of them lay with him I gave him back the paci the very next day. When he turned 3 and I transitioned him to the main nap area, I took the paci away just to see. He asked once, I told him he was a big boy now and didn't need it. He rolled over and napped for three hours. He was done, and my ear drums were intact. No other crutch needed
As for dental work - well, both of their kids inherited Dad's overbite, so I imagine some orthodontia is in their future regardless.

[Brooksie]

BC: Either way, the mom wants the paci gone. Guess she doesn't think its appropriate at this age, so she was looking for a way to get rid of it.

[Blackcat31]

BC: Either way, the mom wants the paci gone. Guess she doesn't think its appropriate at this age, so she was looking for a way to get rid of it.

Do you trust that she will take it at home too? Or do you think she will just want YOU to do the work?

I'd give her the suggestions about limiting where he can have it at and start there....

[Brooksie]

Do you trust that she will take it at home too? Or do you think she will just want YOU to do the work?

I'd give her the suggestions about limiting where he can have it at and start there....

It doesn't matter to me if she has it or not. I will definitely tell her to start it on a Friday or something and make sure she's at least used to the idea. Idk. Its not sweat off my back if they do it or not. That's their choice as a family. Here, she only has it at nap time. Mom just seems to be beyond ready to get rid of it. I really don't think dcg needs it either.