But I Was Gonna Sit There!

[spinnymarie]

How do you help kids learn to solve this problem on their own? I have a couple kids that continually come to me because they were ABOUT to play with something that someone else got. Or they stopped playing with a toy and someone else picked it up and now they want it back. Or they used to be sitting in a chair that someone else is now sitting in.
It might be the most annoying thing that happens to me all day - how do you handle this 'problem'?

[Rockgirl]

It happens here too. I usually just tell them "I'm sorry--he was there first." I have a 5 yr old girl who announces what toy she is going to look for (we have a basket of happy meal toys--their favorite things), and someone else always finds it first--she gets so upset! I finally told her to stop telling everyone what she's looking for, and they won't grab it first, .

[Blackcat31]

I ask them to figure it out themselves It's important for kids to learn how manage the people in their lives and to know how to have conflict resolution....even at an early age.

I ask them to find ways to work it out so that they are BOTH happy. (It's important to remember that fair is NOT equal ) When they are really young or new at this, I oversee the "negotiations". After that, they do this themselves and don't even bother coming to me for help.

If they can't find a way to work it out themselves, I take the toy away and no one gets it. They figure out really fast how to "work it out".

Negotiation and people skills are SOOOOOO important I think

[Familycare71]

Repetition!
I remind kids that those are my toys that I am sharing and just because you played with it earlier doesn't mean it's yours now. Also I tell them : sharing means you get a turn when x is done it doesn't mean x gives it To you because you say so!
As far as seats and things go- I would let them try to work it out but if a dck three a fit they would most likely get a "really:confused:" and I would tell them where to sit.

[Familycare71]

I ask them to figure it out themselves It's important for kids to learn how manage the people in their lives and to know how to have conflict resolution....even at an early age.

I ask them to find ways to work it out so that they are BOTH happy. (It's important to remember that fair is NOT equal ) When they are really young or new at this, I oversee the "negotiations". After that, they do this themselves and don't even bother coming to me for help.

If they can't find a way to work it out themselves, I take the toy away and no one gets it. They figure out really fast how to "work it out".

Negotiation and people skills are SOOOOOO important I think

Yes I agree! And if there is an issue with a toy no one gets it here. For older kids I use kelso choices too- it is something they use in elem school and I like it- gives solid choices and helps them to help themselves!

[MsLaura529]

I get this ... ALL THE TIME. Most of my day is spent guiding negotiations (since everyone is pretty much new within the last couple of months). I remind them a lot to "use your words" and model for them how to ask nicely to play with something. Ex: "DCG, can I play with that tractor when you are done please?". I like them asking "when you are done" because I don't like the idea of one kid having to give up another toy for sharing RIGHT now.

As far as the chairs, I am buying name tags this weekend and claiming their chairs for them.

[KSDC]

Made me think of this:

[Familycare71]

Made me think of this:

:: so true!!!

[Maria2013]

How do you help kids learn to solve this problem on their own? I have a couple kids that continually come to me because they were ABOUT to play with something that someone else got. Or they stopped playing with a toy and someone else picked it up and now they want it back. Or they used to be sitting in a chair that someone else is now sitting in.
It might be the most annoying thing that happens to me all day - how do you handle this 'problem'?

I would talk to both kids and say something like "about you both take turns?"
works great with my group because we play games of "taking turns" all day::

[spinnymarie]

Lol - love the toddler's rules, those definitely apply here.
So we have definitely already talked about taking turns - they are actually quite good at my turn-taking 'conversation' that we have - 1. Can I have a turn? 2. When I'm all done. 1. Ok, thanks. - but somehow this does not apply when someone wasn't 'done' or didn't realize they weren't done until someone else picked up the toy
So yeah, some of it is just one particular DCB who was 'going' to sit there. 'going' to look for something, etc. Maybe he is just whiny and that's my issue. In that case, what do you do about super whiny kids
PLus I guess I need to be doing more overseeing the negotiating when this happens. Just seems like I spend my whole day doing it!!!

Thanks for the advice!

[EntropyControlSpecialist]

How do you help kids learn to solve this problem on their own? I have a couple kids that continually come to me because they were ABOUT to play with something that someone else got. Or they stopped playing with a toy and someone else picked it up and now they want it back. Or they used to be sitting in a chair that someone else is now sitting in.
It might be the most annoying thing that happens to me all day - how do you handle this 'problem'?

Initially, I model saying, "Please let me know when you're done." to them and have them say it to that child. Once I do that a couple of times and they tell me, I'll ask them, "What did you tell him/her?" and they'll say that phrase. Eventually, they just say it without saying a word to me.

As far as toys go, if you put a toy down then other children can play with it. The only thing that can be "saved" are Lego creations and they put those on the "saving shelf" up high. They can each save one creation for the whole week to play with and many of them do.

Table spots are assigned to them otherwise the children that create a ruckus would sit right next to each other. Same goes for circle time. Many of the children have moments where they don't want to play with certain friends or have that friend playing with them. They use the phrase, "I don't want to play with you right now. Maybe later." instead of, "I'm not your friend!" or "Go away!"