Which Would You Take?

[JoseyJo]

Family 1- 3yo dcg, almost potty trained, loves to learn, has been in head start for a while but dcm needs full day care now. I think dcg will fit fine w/ our group and will learn our routines quickly. dcm is VERY young, working minimum wage and going to school online (friend of my grown daughter so I know her situation) and I have a feeling there may end up being issues with "Can I just pay tomorrow?" "I can't afford to bring in diapers until friday." "sorry dcg hasn't had a bath, I have been really busy", "sorry I was so late, I had xyz problems and my phone was dead"

Family 2- 2yo dcb and 2 SA's (6yo and 7yo). We had both SA's in our care for 2.5 years and they were some of our (I know, not supposed to have) favorites. Family is great to work with, always paid on time and followed rules. BUT DCM says dcb is not at all like his older brother (she calls him her "wild child") and he has never been in dc. From the sound of it he will need lots of training to get him used to our routines. SA's would be only on days out of school, not b/s a/s. This would take us up to our max of 9 children plus 3 sa (we have 2 providers) so we would be totally maxed out and we have never done that before!

Right now we have:

7yo SA
2 almost 5 yo boys
4.5yo girl
4.5yo boy
3.5yo girl
2.75yo dcb (just started 3 weeks ago)
23mo dcb (started 2 weeks ago)
and have a 18mo dcg coming in Nov.

We lost 3 to K this year, and just termed one for violence a few weeks ago. I am nervous about taking a "wild child" and also about taking another 2 yo since we already have 1 new 2 yo and going to have a 18 mo in a couple of months. But I am also nervous about taking a child whose mom may not follow the rules.

What do you think? Should I take dcg 3 or dcb2 (+2 SA), or neither?

[Familycare71]

Geez- that is a hard one... Honestly I would take the two year old and two SA. It is easier to "train" a two year old than it is a parent... And from the sounds of it they have good parents who would support you-
Good luck!

[daycarediva]

Can you ask the mom of the 3yo for a daycare reference? or call head start? Honestly, just because she is young doesn't mean she will do any of those things. I had my dd in high school and NEVER had any of those issues. I went to school full time, worked full time and my then bf (now dh) and I alternated pick ups and drop offs since he was in school ft and working ft. It was CRAZY but we were never late (couldn't wait to get there, actually) and never paid late (couldn't afford the late fee!) LOL! The BEST client I have in care right now is a very young single Mom. She and her child are just wonderful. I say the 3yo, because I dislike sa, and it sounds like the 2yo WILL be a behavior issue, and the Mom knows this, is doing nothing about it, and is giving you a heads up.

[HomeMADE]

I would go with the family that you know. As someone else said, it is easier to train a parent than it is a child. Nothing makes it harder to do this job than a parent that takes advantage of the Provider and is always in need but can't pay. In the end you fall in love with the children and have to term due to the parent. Its like falling in love with the "Bad Boy".

[butterfly]

Geez- that is a hard one... Honestly I would take the two year old and two SA. It is easier to "train" a two year old than it is a parent... And from the sounds of it they have good parents who would support you-
Good luck!

[JoseyJo]

All very good points! As to the young mom I'm not basing it on her age- I had my oldest dd at 15 and I never was late, paid late, or left her at daycare when I wasn't working.

My dd lives with this girl right now and I am basing it off what she says- she isn't purposely trying to tell on her friend but she did say that I would prob have to be on dcm about payments since she has never had to pay anything on a time schedule before and dcm is expecting DCF to pay in full (which I am pretty sure they will not, my rate is high enough that she WILL owe something), that she didn't want dcg in p/u or diapers while potty training because of the cost so I would have to be strict on that and tell her way ahead when we are out of p/u because she cant just afford to go out and get them it will have to wait until the next payday. She has told me in the past that dcm tells dcg "Get away from me, I don't want you now" on a regular basis, and that dcg has screaming fits when she doesn't get enough attention.

With DCB I totally believe you are right that he is a handful, they know it, so they gave us a heads up. I do think they would do something about it if they could so that makes me think they cannot do anything about it. But they are good about taking suggestions and working w/ their kids if they know what to do. But I really dont want 2 additional SA, and I don't want to be at max because then both of us have to be here all the time, or take kids w/ us even if we have appts and such. They are both also young (she has 4 children all together and she is 21) but on the more responsible end.

Maybe I should take neither!

[Maria2013]

I would take the "wild child" on a "trial" basis cause kids behave very different in daycare than they do at home

[melilley]

That is a hard one! I say this because I currently have a 23 mo. "wild child" in my care and call him my tornado! I have had him since February. He started off biting, pulling hair, and sometimes kicked and hit. I told his mom that I would work with him and I have and he has stopped biting, but still sometimes pulls hair and scream/cries all the time, will look right at you and do something he's not supposed to and just doesn't stop. I still tell mom we are working on all of the issues, but let me tell you, it is wearing me out! When this child isn't here, the day goes so smoothly and it's so nice.
My fault yes-but I feel like he would just go somewhere else and who knows how he will be treated. Plus dcp's are currently going through a divorce and I know it's hard on dcb and I love the mom and she is the perfect dcp. I just don't have the heart to term. Now, in the future would I take a wild child? I'm not so sure! It's just so stressful. I guess some children would be easier than others to "train".

But if I had a parent like you described as the other family, that would be though to deal with too and probably wouldn't last here very long.

I guess I would do what Maria said-take the "wild child" on a trial basis and see how it goes.