What To Do About Problem Child

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  • grateday
    Daycare.com Member
    • Jan 2013
    • 203

    What To Do About Problem Child

    What do I do with a problem child who is regressing back to bad behavior after being out of daycare for one month. He is speech impaired at 3 years old. He throws pillows all over the floor, throws things a lot more than other kids even children younger than him do not throw that much, he does not share a thing at all unless I am sitting there supervising. I swear as soon as I turn my back to answer a call, or clean up the kitchen he's done something to someone. I am sitting there trying to help comfort a tired infant and he does a naughty and it is only when more than 3 children are here. I don't like pillows all over because I can fall when carrying an infant. I don't like them thrown in the pac n play either for obvious reasons, he even throws things in the pac n play when an infant is sleeping. Mom is too soft with him. What can I do?:confused:
  • coolconfidentme
    Daycare.com Member
    • Oct 2012
    • 1541

    #2
    Originally posted by grateday
    What do I do with a problem child who is regressing back to bad behavior after being out of daycare for one month. He is speech impaired at 3 years old. He throws pillows all over the floor, throws things a lot more than other kids even children younger than him do not throw that much, he does not share a thing at all unless I am sitting there supervising. I swear as soon as I turn my back to answer a call, or clean up the kitchen he's done something to someone. I am sitting there trying to help comfort a tired infant and he does a naughty and it is only when more than 3 children are here. I don't like pillows all over because I can fall when carrying an infant. I don't like them thrown in the pac n play either for obvious reasons, he even throws things in the pac n play when an infant is sleeping. Mom is too soft with him. What can I do?:confused:
    I feel ya..., I'm dealing with my own little monster. Mom laid into him when she got here though, .

    Comment

    • EntropyControlSpecialist
      Embracing the chaos.
      • Mar 2012
      • 7466

      #3
      I would remove the pillows until he re-learned the rules and could make good choices. I'd rather temporarily remove pillows during daycare hours than trip and fall while holding someone elses infant.

      If you are cleaning the kitchen, make him go in there and sit against a cabinet you can see and read a book/play with a toy inside a hula hoop. He must stay in the perimeter of the hula hoop. If you move on to something else, move the hula hoop and him plus the basket of books/toys. Hopefully with some consistency you'll soon be able to get him back in the groove.
      When he does something inappropriate I would tell him what to do. "Pillows are for resting on." If he does it again I'd use a stern, "No. No throwing." That's just what I'd do, though.

      Good luck!

      Comment

      • Blackcat31
        • Oct 2010
        • 36124

        #4
        Originally posted by grateday
        What do I do with a problem child who is regressing back to bad behavior after being out of daycare for one month. He is speech impaired at 3 years old. He throws pillows all over the floor, throws things a lot more than other kids even children younger than him do not throw that much, he does not share a thing at all unless I am sitting there supervising. I swear as soon as I turn my back to answer a call, or clean up the kitchen he's done something to someone. I am sitting there trying to help comfort a tired infant and he does a naughty and it is only when more than 3 children are here. I don't like pillows all over because I can fall when carrying an infant. I don't like them thrown in the pac n play either for obvious reasons, he even throws things in the pac n play when an infant is sleeping. Mom is too soft with him. What can I do?:confused:
        He needs to be your shadow until he understands that playing independently is a PRIVILDGE.

        When you need to feed a baby, he needs to sit right next to you. When he throws pillows, he needs to pick them up before moving on to something else

        As far as throwing things into the pack and play, (that could be soooo dangerous) I would teach him that he may NOT go near the baby's things. EVER. Create boundaries he cannot cross....NannyDe has a fantastic video on youtube demonstrating boundaries. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wGa9BURyIw0

        He needs to know who is in charge and that he cannot do certain things, regardless of what his mom does or doesn't let him do.

        Hang in there.....it is hard but you CAN do it!

        Comment

        • cheerfuldom
          Advanced Daycare.com Member
          • Dec 2010
          • 7413

          #5
          I agree. he needs to be by your side all the time until his behavior is well in hand. this does not mean that he is entertained all day by you....it means you tell him where to go and what he can and cannot do. its labor intensive but its what is necessary. if you cant do that, you need to term before he seriously hurts someone. parents of infants will term faster than you can believe when their baby comes home with a huge bruise or any type of injury....and for good reason. I would do the same thing if my infant was hurt by a big rowdy kid at daycare.

          Comment

          • Familycare71
            Daycare.com Member
            • Apr 2011
            • 1716

            #6
            Agree with the PP...

            Comment

            • Maria2013
              Daycare.com Member
              • Aug 2013
              • 1026

              #7
              Originally posted by Blackcat31
              He needs to be your shadow until he understands that playing independently is a PRIVILDGE.
              That is exactly how I'd handle him, eventually he will get tired of following you everywhere and sitting until you are done
              ..remind him often the reason why he isn't allowed to play with the rest of the kids while you are doing (?) and ask him to let you know when he feel ready to give it another try

              good luck to you both:hug:

              Comment

              • Play Care
                Daycare.com Member
                • Dec 2012
                • 6642

                #8
                Originally posted by cheerfuldom
                I agree. he needs to be by your side all the time until his behavior is well in hand. this does not mean that he is entertained all day by you....it means you tell him where to go and what he can and cannot do. its labor intensive but its what is necessary. if you cant do that, you need to term before he seriously hurts someone. parents of infants will term faster than you can believe when their baby comes home with a huge bruise or any type of injury....and for good reason. I would do the same thing if my infant was hurt by a big rowdy kid at daycare.


                OP, I have his "twin" in my dc. This past year has been a LOT of work - making sure there were no "but I only turned my back for a second" issues. We are starting to see the fruit of our labor but yeah, a lot of work. I really like the child and family. Plus he is mostly only aggressive with his older brother and while I don't condone or allow it, parents are more understanding when it's their own.

                Comment

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