The corner?

[coolconfidentme]

Does anyone stand a child in the corner? I give a timeout on the floor, 1 min per yr. I have a DCB who is relentlessly tattling & bossy lately. I am very consistent with consequences, but this kid isn't giving up. The mother has been talking to him & said she is taking away privileges at home, idk.

I thought about the corner. What do you think? Suggestions?

[Crystal]

No. I don't. I believe it is shaming, as well as pointless.

I would work with the OTHER children to empower them to say to him " I do not like it when you boss me around (or tattle on me), I do not want to play with you if you are going to treat me that way."

I wouldn't use time out or the corner. It doesn't work, as you have found with the time outs being useless already.

[CedarCreek]

I do use time out coupled with our color behavioral chart. It works wonders.

I don't make them stand in the corner but they do have a spot on the floor like you do. For one that's tattling or being extremely bossy, the color chart is good.

[Blackcat31]

Here in my state, having a child stand in the corner would be considered humiliating and/or shaming.

COMPLETELY against licensing rules.

[Play Care]

No. I would find something that worked. I like Crystal's suggestions, but know that I would still have to intervene because my strong willed group will argue about e.v.e.r.y.t.h.i.n.g.

A child who wasn't playing nicely here would lose out on the privilege of playing freely with friends. They would have to be by me at all times. Their choice of toys would be limited to what was right by us. "If you can't play without telling/being kind/whatever then you have to stay by me."

[SilverSabre25]

Ditto Crystal and BC.

Bossiness I handle by giving the bossing child some more responsibilities (REAL responsibilities) that give them some of the power they are seeking by bossing other kids. And sometimes bossy kids (my daughter anyway) benefit from being assigned to play with kids who don't mind/aren't affected by the bossing. I.e My DD gets assigned to play with the 5 month old. They both enjoy it greatly

Tattling I handle on a case by case basis, but is almost always met with "Worry about yourself," or some variant on that phrase. Also acknowledging the feelings behind the tattling ("Miss! She's not apposta look at books upside down!" is met with "Worry about yourself Laney. She can choose to look at the book upside down." but "Miss! Franky's picking his nose!" might be met with, "You know we aren't supposed to pick noses, and want to make sure Franky knows the rules. But he's only a baby, we can't stop him picking his nose.")

Time out isn't really a logical response in either case, though I do use it when the behavior isn't being well controlled and I need the offending child to break the cycle for a few minutes.

Edit: I rethought my tattling stance and explained in WAY more detail below.

[Willow]

Here in my state, having a child stand in the corner would be considered humiliating and/or shaming.

COMPLETELY against licensing rules.

I agree. Although I know of providers who do it. Never knew what if anything I should do in regards to having that information?

[Play Care]

Ditto Crystal and BC.

Bossiness I handle by giving the bossing child some more responsibilities (REAL responsibilities) that give them some of the power they are seeking by bossing other kids. And sometimes bossy kids (my daughter anyway) benefit from being assigned to play with kids who don't mind/aren't affected by the bossing. I.e My DD gets assigned to play with the 5 month old. They both enjoy it greatly

Tattling I handle on a case by case basis, but is almost always met with "Worry about yourself," or some variant on that phrase. Also acknowledging the feelings behind the tattling ("Miss! She's not apposta look at books upside down!" is met with "Worry about yourself Laney. She can choose to look at the book upside down." but "Miss! Franky's picking his nose!" might be met with, "You know we aren't supposed to pick noses, and want to make sure Franky knows the rules. But he's only a baby, we can't stop him picking his nose.")

Time out isn't really a logical response in either case, though I do use it when the behavior isn't being well controlled and I need the offending child to break the cycle for a few minutes.

[SilverSabre25]

A word about tattling:

Tattling is a HARD thing to teach. Think about it, there are so many things we WANT children to tell us about. What is tattling and what isn't is largely a judgement call...and largely an adult judgement call.

We want a child to tell us if someone hurt them. We want a child to tell us if someone touches them inappropriately. We want a child to tell us if the baby got an outlet cover off....if they found a knife or a gun....if they see a huge nasty hairy spider...if another child said something scary/concerning...if they see someone else climbing on a bookshelf...if they see another child hurting someone....if the toilet or sink is overflowing or not running normally...if someone told them to keep a bad secret...if there's a stranger peering in the window....

Those are all important things that kids NEED to tell us. What we don't want to hear about is Sally holding the toy wrong, Jimmy looking at me...Dashel said poop...george stuck his tongue out at me....etc. But those are opportunities to help the child learn to handle things on his own. So some of them need to be met with "Worry about yourself", some of them need to be met with "Thank you, I'll handle it," some of them need to be met with "It sounds like you don't like that. Have you tried telling him?" and I'm sure there are tons of other variants. But what we see as tattling...try and remember that the kids don't yet have the skills needed to deal with these things. And if you don't want to stop hearing the IMPORTANT stuff, you have to listen to the little stuff, too. Because to the kids, it's all important stuff.

[preschoolteacher]

I think doing "the corner" would create more of a power struggle between you and the boy... even if it was permissible to do in your state.

[nannyde]

Does anyone stand a child in the corner? I give a timeout on the floor, 1 min per yr. I have a DCB who is relentlessly tattling & bossy lately. I am very consistent with consequences, but this kid isn't giving up. The mother has been talking to him & said she is taking away privileges at home, idk.

I thought about the corner. What do you think? Suggestions?

No. I don't like time out stuff unless its habitual offender of a high level expectation.

I would be switching his role to be last at my house. He would be mixed in with the one year old kids so he can have someone around him that digs his talk talk talk. They won't understand him but any attention from a big kid makes them happy.

Any time he's with the oldies he would be last at EVERYTHING except going to bed first or clean up first. He needs some time at the back of the stadium so he can SEE the ones who do it right.

He would earn his rightful spot back one thing at a time...if he reverts then back he goes.

[TheGoodLife]

A word about tattling:

Tattling is a HARD thing to teach. Think about it, there are so many things we WANT children to tell us about. What is tattling and what isn't is largely a judgement call...and largely an adult judgement call.

We want a child to tell us if someone hurt them. We want a child to tell us if someone touches them inappropriately. We want a child to tell us if the baby got an outlet cover off....if they found a knife or a gun....if they see a huge nasty hairy spider...if another child said something scary/concerning...if they see someone else climbing on a bookshelf...if they see another child hurting someone....if the toilet or sink is overflowing or not running normally...if someone told them to keep a bad secret...if there's a stranger peering in the window....

Those are all important things that kids NEED to tell us. What we don't want to hear about is Sally holding the toy wrong, Jimmy looking at me...Dashel said poop...george stuck his tongue out at me....etc. But those are opportunities to help the child learn to handle things on his own. So some of them need to be met with "Worry about yourself", some of them need to be met with "Thank you, I'll handle it," some of them need to be met with "It sounds like you don't like that. Have you tried telling him?" and I'm sure there are tons of other variants. But what we see as tattling...try and remember that the kids don't yet have the skills needed to deal with these things. And if you don't want to stop hearing the IMPORTANT stuff, you have to listen to the little stuff, too. Because to the kids, it's all important stuff.

I teach "tattling" vs "reporting". Anything that is an EMERGENCY (and we review what emergencies are often) is reporting. If its not an emergency then it's tattling and they should ignore it or walk away. I did this in my classroom and it has worked well with my 3 year old. Haven't had to use it much with anyone else yet, but it's worth a try if they are old/mature enough to understand!

[Maria2013]

Does anyone stand a child in the corner? I give a timeout on the floor, 1 min per yr. I have a DCB who is relentlessly tattling & bossy lately. I am very consistent with consequences, but this kid isn't giving up. The mother has been talking to him & said she is taking away privileges at home, idk.

I thought about the corner. What do you think? Suggestions?

I do occasionally put kids on Time Out but not in a corner. I have the kid sitting with no toys, just watching the fun the other kids are having

[Maria2013]

A word about tattling:

Tattling is a HARD thing to teach. Think about it, there are so many things we WANT children to tell us about. What is tattling and what isn't is largely a judgement call...and largely an adult judgement call.

We want a child to tell us if someone hurt them. We want a child to tell us if someone touches them inappropriately. We want a child to tell us if the baby got an outlet cover off....if they found a knife or a gun....if they see a huge nasty hairy spider...if another child said something scary/concerning...if they see someone else climbing on a bookshelf...if they see another child hurting someone....if the toilet or sink is overflowing or not running normally...if someone told them to keep a bad secret...if there's a stranger peering in the window....

Those are all important things that kids NEED to tell us. What we don't want to hear about is Sally holding the toy wrong, Jimmy looking at me...Dashel said poop...george stuck his tongue out at me....etc. But those are opportunities to help the child learn to handle things on his own. So some of them need to be met with "Worry about yourself", some of them need to be met with "Thank you, I'll handle it," some of them need to be met with "It sounds like you don't like that. Have you tried telling him?" and I'm sure there are tons of other variants. But what we see as tattling...try and remember that the kids don't yet have the skills needed to deal with these things. And if you don't want to stop hearing the IMPORTANT stuff, you have to listen to the little stuff, too. Because to the kids, it's all important stuff.

[coolconfidentme]

No. I don't like time out stuff unless its habitual offender of a high level expectation.

I would be switching his role to be last at my house. He would be mixed in with the one year old kids so he can have someone around him that digs his talk talk talk. They won't understand him but any attention from a big kid makes them happy.

Any time he's with the oldies he would be last at EVERYTHING except going to bed first or clean up first. He needs some time at the back of the stadium so he can SEE the ones who do it right.

He would earn his rightful spot back one thing at a time...if he reverts then back he goes.

He is habitually picking on the newest timid boy. (There isn't really any oldies here btw.) I have placed him last in line for activities & he seems ok with it. As we were getting ready to get in line to wash our hand, he grabbed the new boy by the neck, right in front of me. He is now separated from everyone. Mom said things are the same at home with no recent changes. Who knows?