Frustration!

[mrs.meg]

I am so frustrated with myself mostly. I was getting ready to go to part-time kids/school age only. Someone asked me to keep their boy who is almost 3, I said yes. He is so much work!!!! He is in between potty training, he almost ruined my recliner yesterday by peeing in it. He poops his pants. I want to tell the parents to bring him in pull-ups because I don't want to have my furniture ruined and I HATE cleaning up a kid that has pooped in underwear. He never looks at me when I talk to him, he looks everywhere else. He talks constantly and I can't understand him at all. He never listens and doesn't know boundaries. I keep thinking it will get better in time, but this initial period of training them to behave and have some respect is killing me!

I wonder if I am the only person who says "keep your hands to yourself"? I just don't think that is being taught anymore. These kids seem to think that if they want to touch someone they can. I feel that if someone doesn't want you to touch them, then you have no right. I think the last 3 boys I have kept had a really hard time learning that.

[Unregistered]

... He never looks at me when I talk to him, he looks everywhere else. He talks constantly and I can't understand him at all. He never listens and doesn't know boundaries.

How would his parents react if you suggested he be evaluated? Lack of eye contact, talking constantly, lack of social skills (doesn't know boundaries), difficulty with toilet training could indicate Autism, NLD, etc. Does it appear to you that his issues are beyond the usual ones for his age?

[Lucy]

How would his parents react if you suggested he be evaluated? Lack of eye contact, talking constantly, lack of social skills (doesn't know boundaries), difficulty with toilet training could indicate Autism, NLD, etc. Does it appear to you that his issues are beyond the usual ones for his age?

I was going to bring up the Autism spectrum as well. In my state, we can have them tested through the ESD. They will come to your daycare house.

[marniewon]

Parents bring him in underwear when he is not trained? I would INSIST on pull ups until he could prove that he was ready. I have a 3 1/2 year old who comes in diapers still - with him it's a power thing. He's ready, and knows what's going on, but will not go in the potty. But, it sounds like your little guy is not ready yet. I would not wreck my stuff for a kid who has no control over his bowels.....

[DancingQueen]

You just described my little guy who will be 3 in November.

I demanded pull ups and when he still was showing no progress I told he we need to stop trying and when she was going to be putting him on the potty as much as she was expecting me to then we'd try again. I believe I was the one training him.. the ONLY one training him.

[BentleysBands]

so sorry to hear your stressed! i def. insist on pullups! i do not allow underwear until completely trained. best wishes that you get thru this difficult time

[SilverSabre25]

How would his parents react if you suggested he be evaluated? Lack of eye contact, talking constantly, lack of social skills (doesn't know boundaries), difficulty with toilet training could indicate Autism, NLD, etc. Does it appear to you that his issues are beyond the usual ones for his age?

This, definitely. The sooner it's caught, the better. I might even go so far as to look up your state's Early Intervention service and be able to provide her with a print-out right then and there with the relevant phone numbers, etc.

[MrsCoffee]

I have 3 boys that come during nap time here and the 2 older ones 2 and 4 are pretty hands on. It is just a consistency thing. I do think some parents just blow it off, the whole hand on thing. My own son is a very touchy person and it took me a long time to get him to understand that some people do not like to be touched, in his mind he doesn't care and doesn't understand why other people do. His love language is physical touch. I think he will out grow it. I would have him checked though or suggest it to mom about the autism, lack of eye contact at 3 is a big red flag to me. Also YES to the pull ups, I can't believe after the first time you told mom that dcb had an accident on your chair or in your home that she didn't offer them on her own!! I don't understand people sometimes.

[mrs.meg]

Thanks for you responses. It is nice to come and have a place to vent. I am not sure about the evaluation, I had a bad experience when I suggested this to a different parent once. It seems a lot of people in my life refuse to see when a child needs some help. I will keep working with him and when he turns 3 in January, I am going to encourage them to have him evaluated for preschool where they could monitor these things.

I am glad that you all agree with me about the pullups. I felt that they seem to think I am being unreasonable. I can see that I will have to be firm with them because they are not listening to gentle suggestions. They have brought a pack and I have put them on him in the morning, but it would be easier for me if they just brought him in one first thing.

Hope you all are having a great day!!!!!!!