DCG Slept All Day, Dad Upset

[MCC]

Sorry, OP, I realized that I jumped all over what you should HAVE done, but not what you could do to fix the situation. I hope tomorrow goes better for you!

Totally didn't take offense, I appreciate all input!

[Familycare71]

Thanks gals.

The child just turned 2. My own DD was still taking 2 naps a day on a regular basis at that age, so I had no problem letting her take a nap at 10:30. I have two other kids here that take a morning nap, so it wasn't interfering with our schedule.

As far as sending her home- She missed 3 out of 5 days of her first week, and I sent her home 2x this week already (Monday for a low grade fever that was below my "fever limit" but she was miserable. Tuesday I sent her home early b/c she was miserable, and she wasn't able to go on our field trip b/c of her mood). So I was very hesitant to have to send her home AGAIN, but I realize now that maybe I should have. I'm a little worried that these people are going to think I just can't handle their kid, but she really is miserable.

I'm torn on whether to even keep this family for the next 6 weeks (I only had a spot for her for 8 weeks). Her being sick has really put a damper on her first 2 weeks, and tomorrow is my opportunity to term without further obligation. I've never had this type of situation happen, and I'm worried that her behavior isn't just b/c she is sick, but maybe is just who she is. Gah...Such a tough place!

My regs say that I can not withhold sleep from a child, and that children under 24 months must nap on demand, she is 25 months, so technically I could have just put up with the crankiness, but when she is demanding nap, I would say I would have been withholding sleep from her. Plus the other children were holding their ears in the corner, so I'm not sure what I should have done, other then send her home for the 3rd time this week.

The only thing I probably would have done different is put a call into mom or dad to give them a heads up at lunch time. I probably would have then offered to try to gently wake(noise in the room, lights on, etc...) her but would have made it clear if she didnt wake on her own that I would allow her to sleep or they could pick up.
What to do now- i dont know... Depends on if you need the money. How are they saying she is at home? Does she act fine there or is she acting sick? If she is fine at home and behaves sick with you I would assume it is just her-

[MCC]

The only thing I probably would have done different is put a call into mom or dad to give them a heads up at lunch time. I probably would have then offered to try to gently wake(noise in the room, lights on, etc...) her but would have made it clear if she didnt wake on her own that I would allow her to sleep or they could pick up.
What to do now- i dont know... Depends on if you need the money. How are they saying she is at home? Does she act fine there or is she acting sick? If she is fine at home and behaves sick with you I would assume it is just her-

I don't really need the money, but it's always nice to have extra! Mom and Dad both seem shocked when I tell them she's screaming all day, so I'm thinking she is fine at home. I know that they practice attachment parenting, and I think that's great, but I also think it might be causing some of the screaming here, b/c she is without mom. This is dcg's first time every away from Mom. She did 2 full trial days, the first was rocky, but the second was fine. Parents say she sings a "going to school" song on the way here, and she seems excited, so I'm not sure what's causing her to flip out once she's actually here.

[DaisyMamma]

My thought, she need the sleep!
How old is she? Most kids won't sleep that long unless exhausted or sick!
If he was worried about it then next time she is screaming all day, tell him he has to pick her up.

I would say tomorrow...

DCD you seemed upset yesterday about susie sleeping all day. I apologize that I did not think to call you and let you know that she was sleeping for that long. NOrmally I would call you and have you pick her up if she is enabling us from keeping on schedule. If we were not doing much that day and it was possible to let her sleep, then I would call you to ask you if you would like me to wake her up or let her sleep. I just figured that since she was not feeling well, that she really really needed the additional sleep to recover.

I have had kids do this before and this is normally what I do.......

[blandino]

I don't really need the money, but it's always nice to have extra! Mom and Dad both seem shocked when I tell them she's screaming all day, so I'm thinking she is fine at home. I know that they practice attachment parenting, and I think that's great, but I also think it might be causing some of the screaming here, b/c she is without mom. This is dcg's first time every away from Mom. She did 2 full trial days, the first was rocky, but the second was fine. Parents say she sings a "going to school" song on the way here, and she seems excited, so I'm not sure what's causing her to flip out once she's actually here.

Okay, first of all - NEVER assume a parent is telling you the truth when they say "they NEVER do that at home". More times than not, I have found the opposite to be true. It's usually a technique to shift the blame. If they aren't like that at home, then it must be you and your care that's the problem - not their perfect child. It also makes them feel less guilty because then they can pretend like they aren't passing a difficult job on to you.

Also, attachment parenting is great if you believe in it. But in a childcare setting, where the providers in unable to practice it, it is cruel to do to a child IMHO. To give them a standard level of care at home, that is is IMPOSSIBLE for their daycare provider to mimic isn't fair to the child. You can't attachment parent 50% of the time. That would violate the very principles of attachment parenting. Even Entropycontrolspecialist, who is pro attachment parenting, won't work with clients who practice it at home. It is just way to difficult.

There are a few providers on the forums who do practice AP, but most of us can't/don't.

[daycare]

I agree with it above 100%. A child will not suffice in a group environment that comes from AP home, MOST OF THE TIME. I also will not work with parents who practice AP. It's like night and day.............

[Familycare71]

I don't really need the money, but it's always nice to have extra! Mom and Dad both seem shocked when I tell them she's screaming all day, so I'm thinking she is fine at home. I know that they practice attachment parenting, and I think that's great, but I also think it might be causing some of the screaming here, b/c she is without mom. This is dcg's first time every away from Mom. She did 2 full trial days, the first was rocky, but the second was fine. Parents say she sings a "going to school" song on the way here, and she seems excited, so I'm not sure what's causing her to flip out once she's actually here.

So she is probably not sick but adjusting- and really if she is used to ap maybe she did sleep because it was so much for her.
I guess it depends on how hard you want to work... IMO it is going to take a lot of attention and time- and while I would allow for an am and pm nap I would wake her up from the am one.
Poor kid- she is probably so overwhelmed! Ideally unless they want to start breaking the bonds at home she needs one on one care.

[Unregistered]

New dcg here that was sick all last week, and is here for 8 weeks total.

Today she cried from drop off until 10:30, and at that point started screaming "I take nap" "I take nap". So I put her down for a nap thinking she was super overstimulated or actually really tired.

She ended up sleeping until 4! I kept going in there and making sure she was actually asleep, and she was...out.cold.

When Dad picked up I told him how long she slept and he was pretty mad. He just kept saying "She was in that room all day!" I didn't know what to say to him. I assure him that she was asleep, and that she obviously needed it. But he just kept saying "She was in that room all day?!"

My policies state clearly that I will not wake a sleeping child unless they are not yet to their birth weight and need to eat. And there is a spot for them to initial next to this policy.

I'm not sure what I should say or do tomorrow with this situation. Advice? Was I in the wrong to let her sleep?

I'd say this: Your daughter was obviously sick all week and so she needed sleep. No way would I interrupt that. Refer to my policies on sleeping kids.

[MCC]

Dad is on his way. Thank you so much ladies, I feel much more prepared to handle a conversation with him at this point!

I am very glad this child is only here for 6 weeks either way, and at least I'm not loosing a long term client if I do term.

:hug: to all for the help!

[TheGoodLife]

Dad is on his way. Thank you so much ladies, I feel much more prepared to handle a conversation with him at this point!

I am very glad this child is only here for 6 weeks either way, and at least I'm not loosing a long term client if I do term.

:hug: to all for the help!

Good luck, and let us know what ends up happening!

[countrymom]

sounds like something is going on. I wonder if they doped her up thats why she slept for so long. Now I've had kids sleep long here too but thats because they are not feeling well. They probably gave her tylenol and didn't tell you.

[MCC]

I spoke with dad for about 10 minutes at drop off (my husband watched the other kids).

I never went into "I'm sorry for not waking her/calling you" I just explained that if she ends up wanting a morning nap in the future, I will let her nap. If she is still sleeping at lunch time I will call them and they can come get her or I can let her sleep until she wakes, and then feed her.

He explained that he was not upset with me, more just upset in general that she is having such a hard time adjusting. She is going into a federal daycare in October with a lot more children, and a lot less one on one time with an adult, and they are very concerned about that. He actually said he was sorry for overreacting and that they were very fortunate that they found me as a stepping stone to the larger center.

He said she slept all night and admitted that he agreed she probably needed the sleep. So, it went better than I thought, and hopefully it wont happen again.

[Lyss]

I spoke with dad for about 10 minutes at drop off (my husband watched the other kids).

I never went into "I'm sorry for not waking her/calling you" I just explained that if she ends up wanting a morning nap in the future, I will let her nap. If she is still sleeping at lunch time I will call them and they can come get her or I can let her sleep until she wakes, and then feed her.

He explained that he was not upset with me, more just upset in general that she is having such a hard time adjusting. She is going into a federal daycare in October with a lot more children, and a lot less one on one time with an adult, and they are very concerned about that. He actually said he was sorry for overreacting and that they were very fortunate that they found me as a stepping stone to the larger center.

He said she slept all night and admitted that he agreed she probably needed the sleep. So, it went better than I thought, and hopefully it wont happen again.

:hug: Glad it worked out and you got to clear things up with DCD! Yay for him apologizing (and you for not apologizing!) happyface

[Cat Herder]

So glad it went smoothly for you. happyface happyface

These sticky "grey" situations are so hard on home providers, it is black and white in Centers.

We want to treat the kids as we'd treat our own when they don't feel well, but then we are held to center standards by state regs and parental assumption.

Let them sleep = Neglect Accusation
Send them home = Lazy Provider Accusation
Force them to Participate = Cruella Deville Accusation

It is always such a learning curve with each family.

[Brooksie]

I spoke with dad for about 10 minutes at drop off (my husband watched the other kids).

I never went into "I'm sorry for not waking her/calling you" I just explained that if she ends up wanting a morning nap in the future, I will let her nap. If she is still sleeping at lunch time I will call them and they can come get her or I can let her sleep until she wakes, and then feed her.

He explained that he was not upset with me, more just upset in general that she is having such a hard time adjusting. She is going into a federal daycare in October with a lot more children, and a lot less one on one time with an adult, and they are very concerned about that. He actually said he was sorry for overreacting and that they were very fortunate that they found me as a stepping stone to the larger center.

He said she slept all night and admitted that he agreed she probably needed the sleep. So, it went better than I thought, and hopefully it wont happen again.

Excellent.