Niece at DC

[spinnymarie]

Hi, I'm pretty new, not a lot of posts but a lot of reading
I started a DC this year, instead of returning to my job as a kindergarten teacher. I have only one family of 3 siblings in addition to my own 3. I also watch my niece - "A", who is 20 months - on Thurs from about 9 - 2 (for free.)
Last week when my SIL brought my niece, she announced that they were potty training. A is wearing pull-ups, and they take her to the potty *often*. Ais an only child, who's mom only works on Thursdays (while I watch her, obv). They only brought ONE extra pull-up with them. A does NOT speak in my presence, though they say she talks at home, and doesn't tell her parents that she has to go potty, they just take her all the time and put her in pull-ups and to them I guess that is potty training.
So not only am I supposed to, i guess, jump on that bandwagon, she also cries the entire time she is here. Like, she will not interact with the other kids, hides in a chair in a room away from the kids, and screams any time she has to transition to something (snack, outside time, lunch etc).
So clearly I know that this is ridiculous, I don't want to do it anymore, and it is totally crazy of them to expect me to potty train MUCH less just watch this child that is SO unhappy about being here. If she were not DH's brother's kid, I would just tell them I can't do it anymore, they need to find something more suitable...
But my question for you is: how can I either make the best of this situation or end this situation without causing a huge family problem?
TIA. and sorry for the huge long post.

[Brooksie]

Hi, I'm pretty new, not a lot of posts but a lot of reading
I started a DC this year, instead of returning to my job as a kindergarten teacher. I have only one family of 3 siblings in addition to my own 3. I also watch my niece - "A", who is 20 months - on Thurs from about 9 - 2 (for free.)
Last week when my SIL brought my niece, she announced that they were potty training. A is wearing pull-ups, and they take her to the potty *often*. Ais an only child, who's mom only works on Thursdays (while I watch her, obv). They only brought ONE extra pull-up with them. A does NOT speak in my presence, though they say she talks at home, and doesn't tell her parents that she has to go potty, they just take her all the time and put her in pull-ups and to them I guess that is potty training.
So not only am I supposed to, i guess, jump on that bandwagon, she also cries the entire time she is here. Like, she will not interact with the other kids, hides in a chair in a room away from the kids, and screams any time she has to transition to something (snack, outside time, lunch etc).
So clearly I know that this is ridiculous, I don't want to do it anymore, and it is totally crazy of them to expect me to potty train MUCH less just watch this child that is SO unhappy about being here. If she were not DH's brother's kid, I would just tell them I can't do it anymore, they need to find something more suitable...
But my question for you is: how can I either make the best of this situation or end this situation without causing a huge family problem?
TIA. and sorry for the huge long post.

I do NOT watch family or friends children. Get out before it gets messy!!!!! When I first started I watched my nephew. WORST DECISION EVER. He never napped here, and my sister was just down right rude about everything. Blaming his 'bad' behaviors on my dd who is just 6 months older than him. I couldn't stand it. She also complained that I charged too much and she could find child care down the street from her house for less (good! Take him there!) After he stopped napping all together I told her it wasn't a good fit and I thought it was in his best interest if she found other care for him. It was so relieving. And me and my sister no longer speak (which is a completely different story) but I'm glad I got out of that deal before she really jumped on the crazy train....

[NeedaVaca]

You are running a business, please don't offer FREE it's not really even just free, I assume you are paying for her lunch and any activities, extra utilities, etc-you are losing $. I would get out now and just say you love your niece but it just not working and you can see without a doubt that she is not happy here. You don't feel comfortable watching her when she is clearly not thriving in this type of daycare environment. This way it's really all about the child's best interest for them to find alternate care for her If they try to argue just say I'm sure you don't want her in a place where she is crying and unhappy all day? Surely they won't say yes!

[Lkurtyak]

I agree with never agreeing to watch friends or family's kids unless its super short term. It makes for some sticky situations.

Maybe tell her that you have someone interested in paying for the spot, and that you need the income...?

[JoseyJo]

I do NOT watch family or friends children. Get out before it gets messy!!!!! When I first started I watched my nephew. WORST DECISION EVER. He never napped here, and my sister was just down right rude about everything. Blaming his 'bad' behaviors on my dd who is just 6 months older than him. I couldn't stand it. She also complained that I charged too much and she could find child care down the street from her house for less (good! Take him there!) After he stopped napping all together I told her it wasn't a good fit and I thought it was in his best interest if she found other care for him. It was so relieving. And me and my sister no longer speak (which is a completely different story) but I'm glad I got out of that deal before she really jumped on the crazy train....

Wow! You could have just told my story Watched my nephew when I first started (for less than 1/2 price)- he (and she) were NOT a good fit for our program and I eventually got her to term herself (she tried to come back later but I was "full"). We no longer talk either for a totally unrelated reason- but just like you I am glad I got out of that deal before she really jumped off the crazy train!!

I wont watch family anymore- too many problems when it is not a good fit. We are watching my hubby's cousin's son now and it has been one problem after another. When he ages out we are DONE w/ family!!

My only suggestion is to get her to term herself- MAKE her follow every rule to the tee. If she does then they will no longer be a problem, if she doesn't want to follow them then she will find alternate care on her own.

-I would write up a potty policy (if you dont already have one) and stick to it to a tee, like diapers/pullups until the child is able to verbally tell you they need to go potty and accomplish the act on their own (pull up/down pants, wipe, etc) AND accident free for 2 weeks. At drop off dont let mom leave child unless you have enough diapers/pullups to last the day.

-We have it in our contract if a child is unable to participate in the day they need to go home - if you don't have something like that add it at the same time as the potty policy - then I would start calling her to p/u when the child is miserable and won't participate (even if it is 1/2 hour into day every day) .