How To Soothe Fussy Babies Without Holding Them?

[Unregistered]

I watch 2 three year olds (one my own daughter) and 2 infants. One is 9 months the other is 4 months. The older baby I have had since 3 months of age, and it's been a very hard adjustment. He needed 100% attention of he would cry. If I got him set up with a toy then walk to other side of the room to get the other kids lunches ready he lost it. The moment I made a movement away from he screamed. At home he got held a lot and other days he was with grandma so of course he got tons of attention and cuddles. He didn't sleep good for me at all bc at home he co-slept. I was very open with his mom about it. I told her much he cried no matter how close I was, or how occupied I got him if I wasn't constantly touching he cried. Sounds like an exaggeration, it's not. I have worked in an infant class for 2 years prior to watching youngens at home and I have never had such a clingy before. He's so adorable but he was really trying. Not only for my nerves bc I couldn't sit there and hold him all day, but also on the other kids who were constantly grabbing at their ears and getting upset when he was screaming too.
His mom would always say "yeah, he's clingy he just wants all the attention".. Somewhat laughing, I tried to explain to her with the other kids I just can't hold him all day. I have to give the other kids attention too.
His mom is a teacher so he has been home all summer with her. He's crawling now so I'm hoping he will be happier being able to move around as he would like, I'm just worried after being home all summer we are in for some pretty loud days.
So my question is, what are some good ways to soothe a baby without constantly holding them or picking up at every sound they make?

[daycare]

I sing....not very good, but that is what I do.......or pat backs and rub gently.

I don't have any babies, I don't provide infant care.

[Play Care]

At 9 months I use my words and actions to soothe. I don't routinely pick up/ carry older infants once they are mobile. I DO get down on the floor with them for cuddles and hugs, but that's usually the extent. Once they start walking I don't pick them up at all, so this helps the transition. Again I'm cuddling and all that, just not lugging kids all over. If I know baby is clean, dry, safe, etc. and others need attention I will verbally reassure the child but not pick up. No they don't understand right away but eventually they will. Plus I find if I make myself repeat over and over "you are okay!" "I know you get so mad when you have to play, but you will love it soon enough!" Or whatever other sentence I can think of that applies - it keeps me from focusing on and becoming upset by the constant screaming.

I don't know if it makes it easier to deal with - its been a while since my dcb was that infant (he's 3!) but it does pass.

[Heidi]

That's going to be a bit of a transition...

I would suggest sitting on the floor as much as possible, starting with him on your lap, then gently setting him near you but not ON you. Touch his back, his head, talk to him, etc. Try to stay a while the first few days.

If you have to get up, tell him "I am getting up to do xx, then I will come back" (smile brightly).

If he yells, ignore it until you come back, then say "I am back "

If he doesn't notice, don't say anything. Go about your business, until he does. Then say "I am still here, see?" or something like that. Pick him up when YOU need to, like to change a diaper, help him into his chair, etc. Then tell him "I am going to pick you up and help you into your chair now".

I try to get them to stop crying BEFORE I pick them up with my words or a gentle touch. If possible, I don't want to give the message that crying=get what you want. It IS the only way for a baby to communicate for now, but I'm trying to encourage language vs. crying.

Once they stop, though, I can say something like "UP, you want to get UP for a hug?" Then, pick them up and give lots of cuddles.

Now, back to the floor, first on your lap, then next to you, etc.