Picky Eating Parents???

[mrsmartin2007]

Hello Everyone,

I am new to this whole daycare thing even though I have worked with children for over 15 years. I have come across plenty of children that are picky eaters but NEVER the parent. Currently this is just a little issue and hasn't turned into a problem YET. The children don't complain about the food but it seems as though the parent doesn't want the child to have anything!!! The biggest part is the milk. Her oldest told me "I DONT DRINK COW MILK!!" then of course the youngest shouts the same shortly after taking a sip leaving a nice milk mustache. LOL! She wants them to have almond milk and I explained to her that I will serve it if she brings it. I inform her when they are low and this started off very well. Now the kids haven't had milk in two weeks and I have compromised and given them an alternative until today. I don't have a doctors note stating they NEED this milk, so I gave them "COWS MILK" today! (and they drank the whole cup) I just know the oldest is going to say he had "COWS MILK" and the mom is going to be outraged. I just don't want the kids getting used to this and I have a food inspection and they yell out UGH COWS MILK! That would truly be the worst. Even though I'm sure the oldest has "COWS MILK" at school?!?! Advice? Tips? Stories Please?!!!

[Cradle2crayons]

Hello Everyone,

I am new to this whole daycare thing even though I have worked with children for over 15 years. I have come across plenty of children that are picky eaters but NEVER the parent. Currently this is just a little issue and hasn't turned into a problem YET. The children don't complain about the food but it seems as though the parent doesn't want the child to have anything!!! The biggest part is the milk. Her oldest told me "I DONT DRINK COW MILK!!" then of course the youngest shouts the same shortly after taking a sip leaving a nice milk mustache. LOL! She wants them to have almond milk and I explained to her that I will serve it if she brings it. I inform her when they are low and this started off very well. Now the kids haven't had milk in two weeks and I have compromised and given them an alternative until today. I don't have a doctors note stating they NEED this milk, so I gave them "COWS MILK" today! (and they drank the whole cup) I just know the oldest is going to say he had "COWS MILK" and the mom is going to be outraged. I just don't want the kids getting used to this and I have a food inspection and they yell out UGH COWS MILK! That would truly be the worst. Even though I'm sure the oldest has "COWS MILK" at school?!?! Advice? Tips? Stories Please?!!!

In the end, you are required to do what the food program states.

So, first off, you explain to mom that SHE is responsible for providing their milk. If she doesn't then YIU are required to give cows milk. It's not your job to BEG for her to bring the milk. So, if she gets mad remind her if that.

Then, I'd require a doctors note before I provided anything other than cows milk anyway.

[Willow]

I am not a picky eater by any stretch of the imagination but cannot stomach the notion of feeding off another lactating species. No other species on the planet will go an nurse off another species well into adulthood. It's nasty to me, and doesn't make a stitch of sense.


That said , if you are on the food program it is up to you to meet those requirements. Tell mom you will serve the almond milk but only with a completed dietary statement on file, and that if she doesn't provide it you will be required to offer the cows milk to them. Food program rep will not care if the children state they don't like it, bit I do require kids be respectful of the foods others eat and like at my table. Might want to mention to mom that that sort of language won't be allowed so she can reinforce respect as well.

Leave the rest on her shoulders to take care of, but don't put yourself in a position to get busted during an inspection without that dietary statement either way!

[Leigh]

I can provide soy milk as an alternative to cow's milk and still be in compliance with the food program. Almond milk is not a nutritional equivalent.

Were I in your position, I would tell mom that the only way you can serve her kids almond milk and still be in compliance is to remove her children from the food program and raise her rate by $5 per day, per child to cover your loss. I would not allow her to send almond milk from home, either. You could offer to give them soy milk as an alternative (8th Continent or the Great Value original are the only brands I am allowed to serve, as the others in my area are not equivalent to cow's milk), provided that Mom is willing to either cover the cost (you can ask for cash, or ask her to provide the milk). No way would I put my food program certificate in jeopardy over it. I'd explain to Mom that I don't minimize her concerns over cow's milk, but that the options you present are the ONLY ones available, and she must choose from them.

Rules may be different in your state, but I can only give almond milk if there is a life threatening reason with medical documentation (just "allergy" isn't enough-the doctor needs to state that it is life threatening).

[MyAngels]

Check with your sponsoring agency, but it is fraud if you are claiming children on the food program and not following the rules to a T. Now, chances are they won't catch it, but if they do it could spell big trouble.

If it were me, I'd require the doctor's note for a substitution, and then provide the alternative myself rather than asking the parent to bring it.

[mrsmartin2007]

I can provide soy milk as an alternative to cow's milk and still be in compliance with the food program. Almond milk is not a nutritional equivalent.

Were I in your position, I would tell mom that the only way you can serve her kids almond milk and still be in compliance is to remove her children from the food program and raise her rate by $5 per day, per child to cover your loss. I would not allow her to send almond milk from home, either. You could offer to give them soy milk as an alternative (8th Continent or the Great Value original are the only brands I am allowed to serve, as the others in my area are not equivalent to cow's milk), provided that Mom is willing to either cover the cost (you can ask for cash, or ask her to provide the milk). No way would I put my food program certificate in jeopardy over it. I'd explain to Mom that I don't minimize her concerns over cow's milk, but that the options you present are the ONLY ones available, and she must choose from them.

Rules may be different in your state, but I can only give almond milk if there is a life threatening reason with medical documentation (just "allergy" isn't enough-the doctor needs to state that it is life threatening).

Will be starting the food program in September, so that's good info to know. THANKS!!!

[MotherNature]

wow- That's really bizarre that the food program doesn't take cultural preferences in to it. I am a former vegan (as of a couple months ago) & I don't consume dairy at all. Now, that's b/c of a casein intolerance, but I also don't use soy. I have a dysfunctional thyroid, and soy is known to cause problems with that, as it mimics estrogen. I cook with coconut or almond milk. What would a non-soy, non-dairy person, especially a vegan w/o an allergy do in this situation? Look elsewhere for childcare? It's weird to me that they wouldn't recognize that regardless of allergies, many people refuse to consume animal products or soy and refuse them for their child. (I don't do the food program, can you tell?) I know you can't cater to everyone, but you'd think coconut or hemp milk would be approved.

[Blackcat31]

wow- That's really bizarre that the food program doesn't take cultural preferences in to it. I am a former vegan (as of a couple months ago) & I don't consume dairy at all. Now, that's b/c of a casein intolerance, but I also don't use soy. I have a dysfunctional thyroid, and soy is known to cause problems with that, as it mimics estrogen. I cook with coconut or almond milk. What would a non-soy, non-dairy person, especially a vegan w/o an allergy do in this situation? Look elsewhere for childcare? It's weird to me that they wouldn't recognize that regardless of allergies, many people refuse to consume animal products or soy and refuse them for their child. (I don't do the food program, can you tell?) I know you can't cater to everyone, but you'd think coconut or hemp milk would be approved.

If someone has a medical reason for NOT consuming what the food program designates as appropriate, then I can substitute based on the medical condition WITH a doctor's statement.

If a family simply chooses to eat differently that the food program dictates, they can opt to NOT enroll in the food program and either supply their own meals/snacks or pay the provider to do so.

I agree with the fact that many cultures eat differently and we should be respectful of those choices...however, the food program is 100% funded by the government and the corn industry plays a HUGE role in what is considered nutritional. Otherwise, I HIGHLY doubt we would be allowed to serve Fritos corn chips to the kids and call it good.

[MotherNature]

If someone has a medical reason for NOT consuming what the food program designates as appropriate, then I can substitute based on the medical condition WITH a doctor's statement.

If a family simply chooses to eat differently that the food program dictates, they can opt to NOT enroll in the food program and either supply their own meals/snacks or pay the provider to do so.

I agree with the fact that many cultures eat differently and we should be respectful of those choices...however, the food program is 100% funded by the government and the corn industry plays a HUGE role in what is considered nutritional. Otherwise, I HIGHLY doubt we would be allowed to serve Fritos corn chips to the kids and call it good.

oh- ok I was unaware they could opt out. That's cool then. Yeah the corn subsidies annoy me...

[Leigh]

wow- That's really bizarre that the food program doesn't take cultural preferences in to it. I am a former vegan (as of a couple months ago) & I don't consume dairy at all. Now, that's b/c of a casein intolerance, but I also don't use soy. I have a dysfunctional thyroid, and soy is known to cause problems with that, as it mimics estrogen. I cook with coconut or almond milk. What would a non-soy, non-dairy person, especially a vegan w/o an allergy do in this situation? Look elsewhere for childcare? It's weird to me that they wouldn't recognize that regardless of allergies, many people refuse to consume animal products or soy and refuse them for their child. (I don't do the food program, can you tell?) I know you can't cater to everyone, but you'd think coconut or hemp milk would be approved.

The reason the food program won't allow coconut or hemp milk is because they need to be equivalent to or in excess of the nutritional values of milk. That is why only certain brands of Soy Milk qualify, as well...not all meet the guidelines. The food program is not concerned with personal preference, but with providing children with what the USDA considers them to need. I can't feed my OWN child organic soy milk during daycare hours (which is what he gets outside of daycare), but must use one of their approved brands. He alternates almond and soy milk, and we just don't use almond milk during daycare hours.

[Leigh]

If someone has a medical reason for NOT consuming what the food program designates as appropriate, then I can substitute based on the medical condition WITH a doctor's statement.

If a family simply chooses to eat differently that the food program dictates, they can opt to NOT enroll in the food program and either supply their own meals/snacks or pay the provider to do so.

I agree with the fact that many cultures eat differently and we should be respectful of those choices...however, the food program is 100% funded by the government and the corn industry plays a HUGE role in what is considered nutritional. Otherwise, I HIGHLY doubt we would be allowed to serve Fritos corn chips to the kids and call it good.

Isn't that the truth! I am amazed at what the kids can be fed on the program, and I honestly feel that they had better meals before I started the program!

[Leigh]

oh- ok I was unaware they could opt out. That's cool then. Yeah the corn subsidies annoy me...

I joined the food program after deciding it was preferable to a rate increase (for the parents, not for me-I'd have rather just charged more, of course!). There are a lot of kids "at nutritional risk" in my area, so I can say that the food program DOES help me bring in new kids-parents are excited about it...I think more for the fact that I am monitored in what I feed them. I've heard lots from parents about kids not being fed enough at daycare or being fed hot dogs and ramen on a regular basis.

For God's sake-there are providers in my area charging 60 cents and 75 cents an hour for kids-HOW do they feed them? It can NOT be well.

Opting out IS an option that I give parents, but opting out comes with a $5 per day rate increase. No one has opted out yet.

[mrsmartin2007]

Wow! I am learning soooo much! Thanks guys for your feedback.

[Margarete]

My understanding is that you have to offer them everything that is required for the meals you are claiming.... but you can give them additional snacks, or food as long as you do not count it for reimbursement. One somewhat common example is special treats for birthdays or holidays (you can still deduct these on your taxes)
I have also heard of someone offering 'milk' and if the kids don't drink it, they can offer soy/ almond or whatever else after (request from dcp), and their food rep was okay with that (I don't know if all of them would be)
I do wish they allowed for some dietary differences with the food program.... at the very least they should allow religious food requirement requests to be honored in addition to doctor's.

[Leigh]

My understanding is that you have to offer them everything that is required for the meals you are claiming.... but you can give them additional snacks, or food as long as you do not count it for reimbursement. One somewhat common example is special treats for birthdays or holidays (you can still deduct these on your taxes)
I have also heard of someone offering 'milk' and if the kids don't drink it, they can offer soy/ almond or whatever else after (request from dcp), and their food rep was okay with that (I don't know if all of them would be)
I do wish they allowed for some dietary differences with the food program.... at the very least they should allow religious food requirement requests to be honored in addition to doctor's.

Yes, you CAN offer milk, and then give something else if they don't drink it. However, it sounds like these kids WILL drink it. And by offering, you have to literally give the kids a glass of it-a verbal "no" from the kids is not enough. It's up to you, as the provider, how closely you follow the rules. I follow them to the letter. It is not worth it to me to violate the rules. My sponsor asks the kids what they ate for lunch that day, did they have milk, etc. And, I just am not going to lie over a parent's preference. They have the option of not participating, if they choose to participate, they choose to follow the rules. I, personally, wouldn't drink cow's milk, either. I, too, feel that it is not "natural" to do so, but I do recognize the benefits of kids drinking it (or an equivalent).