First Time Terminating A Client

[notquite]

Hello,
I've been through a lot of highs and lows with HDC, but its all settling out (into a great thing), unfortunately I need, for the betterment of my life, and business, terminate a family.
I have read many posts about how daycare is a business and i shouldn't let it bother me, but i'm having trouble with the actually event of termination.
The family I need to ask to leave has 2 kids (I watch 2 families with 5 kids total), its because of behavior issues that I need to terminate, with backup annoyances of early drop off and sugared up kids first thing, no support with misbehavior at daycare, and its all starting to effect the other family's kids, who I have been watching since birth.
I have been wanting to term for a while, but haven't wanted to give up on them, they aren't all bad, its just too much all together. The 2 families are friends, and I'm pretty sure the other family won't leave because their friends have too (I think they will be a little relieved) but I worry about trash talk from them, and just the general anger when they are told they need to find other care.
I know I need to do it, its just the first time and very difficult (I loath confrontation)
I will give notice on Friday at pickup, but would love some ideas of how to do it, say it, not to chicken out or break down while telling the mother.
Thanks

[Blackcat31]

Hello,
I've been through a lot of highs and lows with HDC, but its all settling out (into a great thing), unfortunately I need, for the betterment of my life, and business, terminate a family.
I have read many posts about how daycare is a business and i shouldn't let it bother me, but i'm having trouble with the actually event of termination.
The family I need to ask to leave has 2 kids (I watch 2 families with 5 kids total), its because of behavior issues that I need to terminate, with backup annoyances of early drop off and sugared up kids first thing, no support with misbehavior at daycare, and its all starting to effect the other family's kids, who I have been watching since birth.
I have been wanting to term for a while, but haven't wanted to give up on them, they aren't all bad, its just too much all together. The 2 families are friends, and I'm pretty sure the other family won't leave because their friends have too (I think they will be a little relieved) but I worry about trash talk from them, and just the general anger when they are told they need to find other care.
I know I need to do it, its just the first time and very difficult (I loath confrontation)
I will give notice on Friday at pickup, but would love some ideas of how to do it, say it, not to chicken out or break down while telling the mother.
Thanks

When I first started out, I termed via a letter. I would type up the letter and hand it to them (at pick up), sealed in an envelope and said, "please read this as it contains important information pertaining to you and your services".

Then I would smile and add, "call me if you have any questions" because I would much prefer to deal with the fall out over the phone than in person.

I don't do things this way now but I did at first because it was/is hard to manage confrontation....especially when you know or suspect they aren't going to take it well.

I would just tell the family that there are several factors that lead you to this decision and you just don't feel like you can meet their needs anymore and will no longer be willing to provide care for them after xxx date.

If you don't require a 2 week notice, that's even better because you could term effective immediately...but if you do have a notice period, be prepared for them to not use it (although sometimes that is a blessing in disguise) but if they do use it, they may also be even more horrible the remaining two weeks too so bottom line is termination is NEVER easy and/or comfortable for anyone but sometimes you HAVE to do what you HAVE to do in order to maintain your sanity and to keep the other kids safe.

Good luck.....but you CAN do it!!

[EntropyControlSpecialist]

You will, very likely, get "trash talk" and anger when you terminate them. Especially if they are in denial about the issues that have led up to this point when you've mentioned them before.

I would print off a form, check off what the issues have been (child misbehavior, failure to abide by policies, etc.), tell them verbally and hand them the notice. If they are rude, you are well within your rights to let them know that they are no longer welcome in your home anymore.

Terminating is never fun but it sounds like it's in your best interest to do so. Some parents never really get it that they are the parent.

[Moppetland]

I had to terminate a family once due to misbehavior too. I first spoke to the family and gave them a probationary period. I had this child since 6 months old, and his behavior started being out of control around 2.5 years old.

At first the parents wouldn't entertain the idea of him being misbehaved and chalked it up to "terrible twos". Well, this child was cussing and hitting me, beating up the other children, destroying toys, and not being cooperative at all.

I let this go on for much of the year. Then I couldn't take it anymore. During the probationary period, there was no change. Then I spoke with them about early intervention. The mother was on board, but the father wasn't. I expressed to them that if they don't cooperate with this early intervention, then I'll have to terminate my services to them. I explained to them that I have to protect the other children, my family, myself and my property. I felt bad at first, but when another mother asked if her child was being beat up by this child, that was the deal breaker.

I wasn't going to lose my whole business over this one child. So, they chose the termination. The father was concerned about their child being labeled, even though that was not going to happen.

Terminate them according to your contract. Even though this child who was in my care deserved immediate termination, I still tried to work with them. Once they turned down the offer of early intervention, then I just terminated immediately once they chose that instead of getting their child some help with his behavior.

Let us know how it went.

[notquite]

Well, Its done now... blah.
I did it Monday at pickup, and the mother took it fairly well, no anger or tears, didn't argue or try to bargain.
The father, this morning at drop off was pretty rude, and said some rude things.
I was still rather emotional from being treated that way when the other family arrived, but they are being very very thoughtful, and kind as well, I'm so grateful to have them in my life, its why I love doing this.
So it wasn't as bad as i thought it would be, but I'm so excited its a 3day weekend...

[Blackcat31]

Well, Its done now... blah.
I did it Monday at pickup, and the mother took it fairly well, no anger or tears, didn't argue or try to bargain.
The father, this morning at drop off was pretty rude, and said some rude things.
I was still rather emotional from being treated that way when the other family arrived, but they are being very very thoughtful, and kind as well, I'm so grateful to have them in my life, its why I love doing this.
So it wasn't as bad as i thought it would be, but I'm so excited its a 3day weekend...

Glad it worked out so far.. Actually giving notice is the hard part. At least you are past that.

Are you providing care for the final two weeks?

I would really consider asking dcd to refrain from being rude about it. It's business. He should act like an adult. Especially in front of his child and being rude to your child's caregiver is pretty low IMHO.

Hopefully this will all be done and over with quickly and you can breath a big sigh of relief.

[butterfly]

Well, Its done now... blah.
I did it Monday at pickup, and the mother took it fairly well, no anger or tears, didn't argue or try to bargain.
The father, this morning at drop off was pretty rude, and said some rude things.
I was still rather emotional from being treated that way when the other family arrived, but they are being very very thoughtful, and kind as well, I'm so grateful to have them in my life, its why I love doing this.
So it wasn't as bad as i thought it would be, but I'm so excited its a 3day weekend...

:hug:

[notquite]

Glad it worked out so far.. Actually giving notice is the hard part. At least you are past that.

Are you providing care for the final two weeks?

I would really consider asking dcd to refrain from being rude about it. It's business. He should act like an adult. Especially in front of his child and being rude to your child's caregiver is pretty low IMHO.

Hopefully this will all be done and over with quickly and you can breath a big sigh of relief.

I am watching them through sept 13th, unless they leave before then.
Since this was the first time I'd spoken to the dad since notice, I will let his behavior go, because I know he loved me watching his kids (which made it worse that he was mean) and I'm sure is very hurt, stressed, and worried about his kid. Although, I will tell him I expect to be treated with respect if starts to do it again, i won't be treated badly in my own home.
Thanks for all the support, I am a support fiend