Don't Want to Argue

[daycare]

UGh.....

About a month ago I signed a holding contract with a new family for a full time spot. The family now tells me they need part time. Then I agree and they say well now we can't afford childcare at all and want out deposit back.

The family was banking on the DCD getting a job that would then require her child to be in care. I knew of this the whole way through that even though the dad was very very close to landing the job (law enforcement) they ended up not passing the final phase of the process and no job now.

I had told them that I was not willing to give a refund, that this is what we agreed to and that it didn't matter the reason, I know that it was not intentional , but the entire reason I require a holding fee to be paid in the first place.

Well the DCM keeps at it asking me for the deposit back and telling me that they are in a very horrible position now that DCD didn't get the job. Do I feel bad? Sure, but I don't want to go back and let them push me over.

Well that decision to stand strong and say no was in me until this morning when the DCM sent an email that basically told me off. At this point I feel like saying FINE, I will be willing to give you back HALF.

What do you guys think?? I really don't want to argue with anyone.

[Blackcat31]

wait....

first they signed on and asked you to HOLD a space for them (you earning NO money while holding this space)

then they say they can't afford it and please can they have their money back

you say no, they read the agreement and KNEW there are no refunds

now the parents is having a tantrum (by telling you off)

and you want to give them their money back?



Hun, YOU need to stop feeling badly. They agreed to something, didn't get what they had banked on and now they want YOU to **** up the loss....


WAAAAAAAAY too many things wrong with this scenario.

Oh, and as far as advice for what I think you should do......

You already know what I am going to say.

[Heidi]

Nope nope nope.


You wouldn't give in to a whining, bullying child. I know you wouldn't.
Don't give in to an adult doing the same. No means no. It's even worse it if was no a hundred times, and now it's a yes...

You said no, you mean no. Stop opening or responding to her emails.

:hug:

[Familycare71]

Odd- her telling me off would have made my backbone stronger! ::
As others have said before: this is a business- you will here all sorts of sad stories but bottom line is you need income to make your business successful!
I personally would just end contact with this family. Maybe a short reply stating : I am sorry you feel that way. I am abiding by the contract you signed. There is no further reason to discuss this further. I wish you and yours the best of luck.
She won't be happy with half is my bet- she wants it ALL! Don't engage with her or participate in her fit throwing...

[NeedaVaca]

A rude email would be even MORE reason for me to say no!

[Familycare71]

wait....

first they signed on and asked you to HOLD a space for them (you earning NO money while holding this space)

then they say they can't afford it and please can they have their money back

you say no, they read the agreement and KNEW there are no refunds

now the parents is having a tantrum (by telling you off)

and you want to give them their money back?



Hun, YOU need to stop feeling badly. They agreed to something, didn't get what they had banked on and now they want YOU to **** up the loss....


WAAAAAAAAY too many things wrong with this scenario.

Oh, and as far as advice for what I think you should do......

You already know what I am going to say.

[wahmof3]

Be strong and stand your ground!!!

I remember not to long ago that you had a "left hook" for my issue.....

Well I got one for your DCM......::

YOU GOT THIS!!!! Business is business

[JoseyJo]

Well that decision to stand strong and say no was in me until this morning when the DCM sent an email that basically told me off.

No way!!! If someone told ME off the last thing on my mind is to do what they want!

What would you do if you told a child No and they threw a big tantrum? Would you give in or would you hold even firmer?

[Brooksie]

A rude email would be even MORE reason for me to say no!

YEP! Don't give them any back. Especially after she crossed the line with a nasty email. You guys had an agreement, you held the spot, they're backing out.. YOU KEEP EVERY CENT OF THAT DEPOSIT.

[MarinaVanessa]

A rude email would be even MORE reason for me to say no!

Exactly this. I think I would have been more inclined to offer to give back at least a portion of the holding fee back in the beginning because of their situation (willing that I was in a position to afford to give it back) and if I were to have gotten a nasty email from them then I DEFINITELY wouldn't give it back.

PS ... Just some food for thought to all providers that charge to hold a spot ... make sure that your contract language says "Holding Fee" and not "Holding Deposit". "Fee" is a charge and "deposit" insinuates that you get it back or that it goes towards something. "Deposit" just confuses people even if the contract says "non-refundable". Just something to chew on. (this is coming from co-workers of DH that are contract lawyers ... in CA).

[coolconfidentme]

This is when I would send a polite, but laced with sarcasm.

It's unfortunately your husband did not study hard enough to provide for your family. With that said, I cannot see where his responsibility is now mine. I understand your frustration. If you would like to discuss this any further, please feel free to secure a date with circuit court judge XXX. I will be more than happy to explain it to him. Otherwise this will be my last correspondence with you. Please have a good day!!

[MaryM]

This mom is like the nagging child-trying to wear you out til you give in and say yes. Tell her "not just no, but heck no!" Then take that fee & head to the nearest spa!

[Blackcat31]

This is the perfect time to get used to and comfortable with using your backbone.... they aren't enrolling with you so you really have nothing to lose.

[daycarediva]

How is it YOUR responsibility? It's NOT. Imo, you have already lost out on money by holding the spot in the first place. They gave you a non refundable holding fee. It's just that, not refundable. Sorry!

[Laurel]

UGh.....

About a month ago I signed a holding contract with a new family for a full time spot. The family now tells me they need part time. Then I agree and they say well now we can't afford childcare at all and want out deposit back.

The family was banking on the DCD getting a job that would then require her child to be in care. I knew of this the whole way through that even though the dad was very very close to landing the job (law enforcement) they ended up not passing the final phase of the process and no job now.

I had told them that I was not willing to give a refund, that this is what we agreed to and that it didn't matter the reason, I know that it was not intentional , but the entire reason I require a holding fee to be paid in the first place.

Well the DCM keeps at it asking me for the deposit back and telling me that they are in a very horrible position now that DCD didn't get the job. Do I feel bad? Sure, but I don't want to go back and let them push me over.

Well that decision to stand strong and say no was in me until this morning when the DCM sent an email that basically told me off. At this point I feel like saying FINE, I will be willing to give you back HALF.

What do you guys think?? I really don't want to argue with anyone.

I don't do holding fees. I just hold a spot for a maximum of two weeks and then give it to someone else if they don't come through. They don't pay me until they start. Then I collect the first and last week of care fee.

How long did you hold the spot and how much money did they give you? If you held the spot for a long time (more than 2 weeks) I'd keep it. If not, I'd probably give it back. But then I wouldn't have collected in the first place so I guess my answer is a bunch of nonsense anyway. ::

Laurel

P.S. I just re-read and see you held it for a month. I'd keep the money then. I'd send an email and would tell them the exact amount you would have made if you wouldn't have been holding the spot for them. I charge $150 a week so I would have said "Because I held this spot for you, I lost $600. Your holding fee will go towards covering my loss as per the contract you signed."