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Please help me! I am loosing my mind and I don't know what to do anymore! I have been running a successful in home daycare for 6 years now. My daycare children are wonderful and I have no issues with them or the parents. It's my own child! She is 5 and is going to be starting kindergarten at the end of the month. She has has issues since she was a toddler. First was speech delay then unusual aggression for her age. I thought that it would get better as she got older but it has only gotten worse. She will actaully attack me, start hitting, kicking, screaming saying she hates me. there are times when i am actually afraid of her. She does ok with the other children. Her biggest problem with kids her own age is being extremely bossy. If she doesnt get her way she will throw a fit like a 2 year old. I have tried everything I can think of for punishment. No special activities, not going anywhere, loosing toys, time outs, rewards chart, even spanking doesn't work. She just laughs at me. She has been in therapy for 2 years, seen 2 doctors and 4 physiatrists. All diagnosing her with ADHD. But the ADHD medicine makes her a zombie, depressed and sometimes suicidal. I have gone to parenting classes to see if that will help. I have lost daycare parents because of her behavior. I have no idea what to do anymore! I'm afraid she will get expelled from school. She has grown up in a stable home, no major changes, no abuse of any kind. I am starting to wonder if she has a serve mental condition that the doctors are missing. My son and daycare children are perfectly well behaved and don't have any problems with them. Any help is greatly appreciated! Please be honest.
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I recommend you speak with her pediatrician immediately. These behaviors are not common, typical behaviors for her age.
Look up Nannyde on here, I don't 100% agree with all of her philosophy of care, but I do know she is a pro at dealing with behavioral issues. I recommend a consult with her. I will direct her to this thread. -
I think you need a new Dr...are they just throwing a label on her and medicating? Medication can take a while to get the correct type and dosage. Is the therapy she is receiving for speech? She should probably have a behavior therapist and family therapy as well. I would absolutely find a specialist and get her the help she needs. I also strongly suggest researching diets, they can make a huge help, cutting out processed foods and especially food dye!Comment
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Has she been to an independent psychiatrist or was it a school associated psychiatrist??
Was she tried on just stimulants or other ADHD options.
Has counseling been tried to help wi a possible anger issue??
Have they checked her hormones? What about one of those behavioral MRI tests that show when certain areas light up that are associated with various diagnoses?
What about eliminating certain dyes and foods? Food allergy testing??Comment
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Her pediatrician was the first person we went too. After trying a few of the ADHD medicine she referred us to someone else. She receives speech therapy for about 8 months. Currently the last 2 years she has been going to behavior therapist. We have gone to the top 2 children's physiatrists in the area and the same thing. We eat extremely healthy here. My son has Celiacs disease so everything I serve is gluten free and no processed foods/food dyes. I'm a bit of a health nut. We have switched doctors multiple times. I'm thinking that they see that ADHD label and then go with that and not look deeper. With where I live all the doctors, hospitals and offices are connected so they have every single record. They look at the records before hand and have a "diagnosis" before we even see them. She isn't in the school system for another 2 weeks so they are not involved at this point.Comment
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What about ODD? Has that been investigated at all?Comment
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She really is good at this kind of thing. 
Here is her contact info....
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This is where my mind went until I read about stable early childhood.....
I agree with the suggestion of an evaluation by a qualified child behaviorist/therapist. I agree Nan is awesome but I think with school right around the corner you need a face to face assessment of what's going on here OP.Comment
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Keep trying to find a good dr. I'm sure her behaviors are scary for her too. To me it sounds like early on-set Bipolar Disorder, but most dr's won't try to put that label on any one that early. I was early onset myself but wasn't diagnosed as bipolar until I was 12. Before that it was Adhd @ 7 years and depression @ 10 years. It wasn't until we got the diagnosis of bipolar that we realized what was going on earlier. I wish you were a member so I could PM you..Comment
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Is she your biological child?
The reason why I ask is because I took a class on attachment disorder.
I totally agree with everyone to get help as far as Nan and who ever else you can get, but this would be helpful to know.
I had a little daycare boy that had all those symptoms and also would obsess over injuries, blood etc. he was adopted and his first 6 months had been very erratic so... I am not trying to pry just get to the bottom of what's going on.
:hug:Comment
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How is she with other adults, your parents, your in-laws, aunts, uncles, friends? There is something I thought of, how old is your home ? There have been cases where something in the air in the home causes behavior problems in children. Mold or some other airborne toxin. It is worth checking into.Comment
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ODD can happen in the most stable homes-
Have you stayed with a psychiatrist? I ask because sometimes finding an answer takes time. In my experience you would have gotten the original diagnosis with your daughter but then follow ups after. During those you would have shared your concerns about continued behavior and medications concerns. That is when the possibility of other issues would start to get investigated.
IMO your Ped was correct in referring you to a physiatrist.
I would also be in contact with the schools special education head to meet and come up with a plan BEFORE school starts. They need to have a heads up on behaviors.Comment
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I agree with the others who said to keep looking for a behaviorist/therapist who can help you. The only other suggestion I would have is to look into the Feingold Diet.
You mentioned that your diet is a healthy one but according to Dr. Feingold, certain healthy foods, like some fruits, have salicylates in them that can cause the kind of behaviors you've described. The diet had been suggested to me by my son's pediatrician. I did find that his behavior did improve when I stopped serving him certain fruits.
Not to push the diet but I also had a dcm who left me to open her own day care. She called me a couple of years after leaving saying her dd's behavior was so out of control, that she was thinking of having her admitted to a mental health hospital for observation but she couldn't find a dr. willing to help her. (Her dd was only 4 at the time!) Long story short, I mentioned the Feingold Diet to her. As a last resort, she tried it and couldn't believe the difference it made in just a few weeks. Not only did her dd's behavior improve but her son's did, too and she told me she had never felt that good in years. Turns out, they all had food sensitivities and once they figured out which ones were causing the problems and eliminated them from their diet, they all felt so much better. The behaviors she saw in her kids improved tremendously. My sil had similar results. She found that she has sensitivities to chicken, turkey and apples among other things. Anyway.....just thought I'd mention it in case you want to look into it. Good luck. I know it can't be easy to deal with the behaviors you've described.:hug:Comment
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Has she been evaluated for sensory issues? My son was exactly like that and still is sometimes, although it has gotten much better with occupational therapy. It took a lot to get him diagnosed because many pediatricians still don't recognize it as an actual diagnosis.Comment
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