Getting Pulled All Over The Place

**Familycare71** · 08-12-2013, 08:04 AM

Originally posted by daycare

Just got back from a vacation, only took a few days off, but boy am I pretty upset with some of my parents......Surprise Surprise...

I have a few things I need to address and would love some insight about how to handle them.

Issue #1:

A new family signed a holding agreement for their child to start full time next month. Well they now tell me that they don't need full time and they only want to come 2 days a week. In our agreement, it says nothing about being able to attend less days. I also will NOT take a child under that age of 2 yrs for two days a week. So I will have to tell them it's full time or no time. If they decline, should I refund their money????

Issue #2:
I advertise on a website that will often send me notices of families looking for childcare in my area. This past weekend I open the email notice and see that it is one of my current families. This family and I have had a few bumps in our road together here, but other than that seem to be very pleased. Would you say something to this family about getting the notice.

Issue #3:
I am starting to become friends with a local provider in my town. I got a voicemail message from a family that she is trying to enroll into her care. I guess she used me as a reference? This woman is very nice, but I don't know her and I really do not know what to say to the family that called looking for a referral for her. I would love to help her out, but also don't want to shoot myself in the foot. What would you do?

I have a few more things going on that I am not too sure what to do about, but I don't what to overwhelm you guys with all my drama......

HELP!!

Welcome back!!!

geez!
#1: I definitely would not refund their money- they are effectively backing out of the contract. So unless your contract doesn't state deposits are non refundable or that they are- I wouldn't hand back a penny
#2: I would probably say: I was notified you were looking for childcare. Is there anything you would like to discuss? It would depend for me how I felt about the parents, kids and my money situation how hard I worked to resolve it. But if they were willing to share I would be interested in why.
#3: I would be very careful here. I am assuming you are "competing" for business. Personally I think I would talk to the other provider and make a no references rule- maybe you could give the others # if your full but that's as far as I'd be willing to go.

Bring on #4,5,6.... :

:

**blandino** · 08-12-2013, 08:08 AM

Originally posted by daycare

Just got back from a vacation, only took a few days off, but boy am I pretty upset with some of my parents......Surprise Surprise...

I have a few things I need to address and would love some insight about how to handle them.

Issue #1:

A new family signed a holding agreement for their child to start full time next month. Well they now tell me that they don't need full time and they only want to come 2 days a week. In our agreement, it says nothing about being able to attend less days. I also will NOT take a child under that age of 2 yrs for two days a week. So I will have to tell them it's full time or no time. If they decline, should I refund their money????

Issue #2:
I advertise on a website that will often send me notices of families looking for childcare in my area. This past weekend I open the email notice and see that it is one of my current families. This family and I have had a few bumps in our road together here, but other than that seem to be very pleased. Would you say something to this family about getting the notice.

Issue #3:
I am starting to become friends with a local provider in my town. I got a voicemail message from a family that she is trying to enroll into her care. I guess she used me as a reference? This woman is very nice, but I don't know her and I really do not know what to say to the family that called looking for a referral for her. I would love to help her out, but also don't want to shoot myself in the foot. What would you do?

I have a few more things going on that I am not too sure what to do about, but I don't what to overwhelm you guys with all my drama......

HELP!!

Issue #1

I had a family do this to me, except they wanted him to start out PT and then move to FT. We were able to work in a schedule that allowed him to come only PT. But I was very frank with them and told them that the full-time would only e available as soon as we had an opening, and that could take a while.

They Wound up getting frustrated that they didn't have a FT spot available to them (even though they passed it up), and angry that my PT rate was more expensive than my FT rate broken down daily.

In your case, I would tell them that they are welcome to only send him 2 days a week, but the opening that they have reserved is for full-time and you don't have any PT infant openings.

**itlw8** · 08-12-2013, 08:11 AM

No I would not refund their money. They are welcome to give notice and use it for their first and last week of f/t care.

I would not say something to the family but I would start looking to replace them. Though as you are looking you could say. I got an email saying you were looking for child care. is there something you find lacking in my program that might be changed?

I would return the call to the family. I would say I have met the provider and she seems very nice but I have never seen her program I am not sure how much that will help you. Then I would say Would she give you the number of a current or former family to talk to.

**daycare** · 08-12-2013, 08:13 AM

Originally posted by Familycare71

Welcome back!!!

geez!
#1: I definitely would not refund their money- they are effectively backing out of the contract. So unless your contract doesn't state deposits are non refundable or that they are- I wouldn't hand back a penny
#2: I would probably say: I was notified you were looking for childcare. Is there anything you would like to discuss? It would depend for me how I felt about the parents, kids and my money situation how hard I worked to resolve it. But if they were willing to share I would be interested in why.
#3: I would be very careful here. I am assuming you are "competing" for business. Personally I think I would talk to the other provider and make a no references rule- maybe you could give the others # if your full but that's as far as I'd be willing to go.

Bring on #4,5,6.... :

:

Thanks for helping me....I am suffering jet lag....

#1...it clearly states no refunds.......

#2...So I need to speak up and just ask them if they are....UGH I am such a chicken, I hate having to ask stuff like this, but I know that I need to.

#3.. I don't do infant care, so I refer infants to her or another provider friend, but she is full right now. I thought about calling her and just letting her know that I really didn't think that I would be of much help to her, as I really don't know her too well and honestly would not be willing to recommend someone I know nothing about.

**Laurel** · 08-12-2013, 08:16 AM

3. I never give references for other providers. I always say "Well she seems like a nice lady but I really don't give references for other providers because I've never seen them work."

Laurel

**MrsSteinel'sHouse** · 08-12-2013, 08:17 AM

I would not refund the money. The holding fee is that... you were holding a FT spot for them, which they now don't want.

I would ask family #2 what is going on.

I would not give a reference for another provider. I would provide her number if you were full but that is as friendly as I would be

**Familycare71** · 08-12-2013, 08:23 AM

Originally posted by daycare

Thanks for helping me....I am suffering jet lag....

#1...it clearly states no refunds.......

#2...So I need to speak up and just ask them if they are....UGH I am such a chicken, I hate having to ask stuff like this, but I know that I need to.

#3.. I don't do infant care, so I refer infants to her or another provider friend, but she is full right now. I thought about calling her and just letting her know that I really didn't think that I would be of much help to her, as I really don't know her too well and honestly would not be willing to recommend someone I know nothing about.

Yes to the above- except: you don't HAVE to say anything- I would but because I would want to know why... I think it would be fine to just let it be too- start interviewing for the spot and stay ready for notice. They may find their isn't a program that offers what you do and stay anyway... Ya never know!

**mom2many** · 08-12-2013, 08:36 AM

Originally posted by MrsSteinel'sHouse

I would not refund the money. The holding fee is that... you were holding a FT spot for them, which they now don't want.

I would ask family #2 what is going on.

I would not give a reference for another provider. I would provide her number if you were full but that is as friendly as I would be

ditto

**CrackerJacks** · 08-12-2013, 08:42 AM

1. I would not refund the deposit. The deposit was to hold the FT space. I would tell them that. And then I would tell them, unfortunately you do not have a 2day/week space.
Here is what my contract says "If you choose not to enroll your child before care starts the deposit will not be refunded (as I was reserving that space for your child)."

2. Personally, I would say something. I'm
Totally blunt and would just say "are you looking for care elsewhere?" Wait for their reply, if they say "no" I would then say "oh...I thought I got a notice through ".....com" that you were. I guess it must have been a mistake?"

3. I probably would just call the parent back and just say that you do know her, but you don't really know to much about her program. I also have a friend who is a provider in the same neighborhood as me, and although we are friends (aquaintenses) I normally do not even refer ppl to her. Only because I don't know enough about how she runs her program (I've never been their while she was watching kids). I would hate to refer someone, have it go sour and then I would feel like it puts a bad wrap for me because I was the person referring. Hope this makes sense.

**BABYLUVER21** · 08-12-2013, 08:49 AM

Originally posted by daycare

Just got back from a vacation, only took a few days off, but boy am I pretty upset with some of my parents......Surprise Surprise...

I have a few things I need to address and would love some insight about how to handle them.

Issue #1:

A new family signed a holding agreement for their child to start full time next month. Well they now tell me that they don't need full time and they only want to come 2 days a week. In our agreement, it says nothing about being able to attend less days. I also will NOT take a child under that age of 2 yrs for two days a week. So I will have to tell them it's full time or no time. If they decline, should I refund their money????

Issue #2:
I advertise on a website that will often send me notices of families looking for childcare in my area. This past weekend I open the email notice and see that it is one of my current families. This family and I have had a few bumps in our road together here, but other than that seem to be very pleased. Would you say something to this family about getting the notice.

Issue #3:
I am starting to become friends with a local provider in my town. I got a voicemail message from a family that she is trying to enroll into her care. I guess she used me as a reference? This woman is very nice, but I don't know her and I really do not know what to say to the family that called looking for a referral for her. I would love to help her out, but also don't want to shoot myself in the foot. What would you do?

I have a few more things going on that I am not too sure what to do about, but I don't what to overwhelm you guys with all my drama......

HELP!!

ISSUE 1: NO I would NOT refund their money. THEY signed a contract with you, put the deposit down based on the original terms. Therefore, if they want to change the terms suddenly, they have to eat that deposit if they decline to keep their child in at ALL as originally agreed because they have decided they don't need full time after all and you don't have a part-time option which I assume they knew.

ISSUE #2: I would say to the current family that they inadvertently emailed you looking for daycare. Then I'd simply sit back and wait to see what they say to you.

ISSUE #3: I would say to the other family that what you know "of" the provider, she seems very nice, however, you are not personally allowed to recommend or not recommend daycares due to regulations. (We here, do not recommend, backups for example. I used to give a list of #'s and names of people in our area who did emergency care and I knew were great, but would let the parents know I did not endorse them in any way and would not be held liable if they chose someone off the list and they were not happy with their services. In fact, this was a part of my contract under "backup care".

**sharlan** · 08-12-2013, 09:14 AM

#1 - no. I just got burned by a family member who asked me to hold a spot for 3 months.

#2 - I would ask if there were any issues that needed to be addressed?

#3 - I would politely say that while the provider seems nice, I don't know her well enough to provide a reference.

**AfterSchoolMom** · 08-12-2013, 09:19 AM

1.Do not refund the money.

2.Confront the family looking for care. I had this happen via craigslist once. I confronted DCM and she was mortified. It lead to a discussion about some of the issues they were having (that I knew nothing about) and we were able to work through it to get through the year. I would definitely start to look for replacements though.

3.I'd go with exactly what Laurel said.

**Blackcat31** · 08-12-2013, 09:21 AM

Originally posted by daycare

Just got back from a vacation, only took a few days off, but boy am I pretty upset with some of my parents......Surprise Surprise...

I have a few things I need to address and would love some insight about how to handle them.

Issue #1:

A new family signed a holding agreement for their child to start full time next month. Well they now tell me that they don't need full time and they only want to come 2 days a week. In our agreement, it says nothing about being able to attend less days. I also will NOT take a child under that age of 2 yrs for two days a week. So I will have to tell them it's full time or no time. If they decline, should I refund their money????

Issue #2:
I advertise on a website that will often send me notices of families looking for childcare in my area. This past weekend I open the email notice and see that it is one of my current families. This family and I have had a few bumps in our road together here, but other than that seem to be very pleased. Would you say something to this family about getting the notice.

Issue #3:
I am starting to become friends with a local provider in my town. I got a voicemail message from a family that she is trying to enroll into her care. I guess she used me as a reference? This woman is very nice, but I don't know her and I really do not know what to say to the family that called looking for a referral for her. I would love to help her out, but also don't want to shoot myself in the foot. What would you do?

I have a few more things going on that I am not too sure what to do about, but I don't what to overwhelm you guys with all my drama......

HELP!!

Welcome back! Hope you had a great vacation!!

Issue #1

Dear DCF

I am sorry to hear you are wishing to drop from full time to part time as I currently do not accept children on a part time basis and will not be able to accommodate your part time request. If you wish to remain enrolled at a full time status, let me know NO LATER than Friday August 16th.

Sincerely
Provider

Do NOT return the holding fee as you DID hold the space. If they don't use it, that is their choice. The money was to guarantee the space, you did that.

Issue#2

I'd outright ask family. "I got an e-mail this weekend notifying me that you are searching for child care. Are you planning on withdrawing?"

IMHO, it's a simple question in regards to the e-mail you received. If they ask you can tell them you advertise on all kinds of child care sites and they all send you a notification when families are looking. I'd even go so far as to let them know you are surprised they are looking as you aren't aware of any issue between them/you. I wouldn't be hesitant to have this kind of convo with my DCF, because I stress from the beginning the importance of open honest communication.

If the family feels put on the spot because they maybe didn't want you to know they were out looking at other arrangements, then they SHOULD feel put on the spot, because if they have/had an issue with you, they should have come directly to you about it and not just went looking for other care arrangements.

Issue#3

I'm sorry but I don't give referrals to any other providers. Including ones I am close too. I have no way of knowing if they are or aren't a good fit/match with potential families so I reserve the right to not give referrals and/or opinions.

(I'd tell BOTH the family looking and the provider-friend that same thing.)

**coolconfidentme** · 08-12-2013, 10:48 AM

Originally posted by daycare

Thanks for helping me....I am suffering jet lag....

#1...it clearly states no refunds.......

#2...So I need to speak up and just ask them if they are....UGH I am such a chicken, I hate having to ask stuff like this, but I know that I need to.

#3.. I don't do infant care, so I refer infants to her or another provider friend, but she is full right now. I thought about calling her and just letting her know that I really didn't think that I would be of much help to her, as I really don't know her too well and honestly would not be willing to recommend someone I know nothing about.

#2.., You can always say, "I noticed you are on XXX.com...., me too." They will know you know. In the meantime, look to replace them.

Getting Pulled All Over The Place

Getting Pulled All Over The Place

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