Why Does This Bother Me So Much?

[Josiegirl]

It's like a pet peeve of mine or something. But when I see a child being carried everywhere it bugs me. Why is that? I've got a little 5 yo dcg who gets carried out to the car a lot of the time. Then I have another little girl who's turning 4 soon; she gets carried a lot, loves acting like a baby and of course the older kids play right into it. My SA dcks are always carrying around my 15 month old when she clearly just wants to be left to discover her own adventures.
We were outside playing games this afternoon. The 12 yo dcb was carrying the almost 4 yo and I asked him why? 'Because she wanted me to.' So I said 'let her down to play and run, that's why we came outside'

Does anyone else feel this way or am I just weird?

[Brooksie]

That drives me crazy too!! I have all little ones right now but I have a MASSIVE 15 mo old who's mom still carry's him around in a baby carrier (car seat). The first time she walked him in in that thing I couldn't help it, I said "girl, what is he doing in there? That must weigh 35lbs." She said "Oh I know! Every one thinks I'm crazy, I still carry him around in it like a baby." Then she leans down and says something like "Mommy just spoils you rotten."

[MyAngels]

You're not weird, it bugs me too! I used to have a girl who insisted on being carried in and handed off to me. Even after I put a quick stop to that business, her mom still carried her everywhere. Ugh. She was a really big girl for her age, too.

[craftymissbeth]

You're not weird, it bugs me too! I used to have a girl who insisted on being carried in and handed off to me. Even after I put a quick stop to that business, her mom still carried her everywhere. Ugh. She was a really big girl for her age, too.

How did you stop it? I have a 15 mo dcg and dcd hands her off to me every morning. I want to say something, but don't want to be rude, kwim?

[EntropyControlSpecialist]

I used to have a 20-month-old that they attempted to hand off to me. So, I began opening the door and either saying, "You're a big girl! Let's see you walk and put your shoes away! " or I would just crouch down to where her level would be and begin talking to her from way down there LOL! It mostly stopped. Occasionally she would try to be handed off, and I would say, "You're so silly! You're a big girl and Ms. __ doesn't carry big girls!"

I have an almost 4-year-old that gets carried to and from the car every single day. Everything in this child's life is like this. When baby talk occurs, I will tell the child that I can't understand them or I will ignore it and wait for them to use their actual voice. I have only had to discipline a few children in front of their parents. The other children I never had to discipline more than once. This child I have had to discipline at least 4 times.

I have a new 3-year-old who had his Mom pick him up in a big hug one day. She got distracted talking to me, eventually looked in her arms and said, "What am I doing?!? You're a big boy! Use your legs to stand!" :: I told her I loved her at that point.

[Willow]

How did you stop it? I have a 15 mo dcg and dcd hands her off to me every morning. I want to say something, but don't want to be rude, kwim?

Crouch and hold out your hands encouraging her to walk. I've never had a parent ask why, they just follow my lead, but if they did I'd tell them that establishing confidence during transitions is important. It shows not only a solid bond between parent and child (child trusts that they will be back) and shows there is a solid bond between provider and child (in that they want and like to be there)



Drives me nuts too OP. Kids with legs should be required to use them.

[Starburst]

How did you stop it? I have a 15 mo dcg and dcd hands her off to me every morning. I want to say something, but don't want to be rude, kwim?

Make it a rule (add to policies) and say its apart of encouraging self help skills. If you have to maybe even say its a part of preventing childhood obesity by getting kids to be more active and self reliant. Or just say that it's part of promoting more active life style as young as possible.

ETA: It was just an idea, some parents are concerned about childhood obesity.

[Willow]

Make it a rule (add to policies) and say its apart of encouraging self help skills. If you have to maybe even say its a part of preventing childhood obesity by getting kids to be more active and self reliant or that it's part of promoting more physical activity.

I would not bring up childhood obesity when discussing transitions. As a parent that would seem like a passive aggressive way to insinuate my child is fat and would totally overshadow any other point you were trying to make. Imho, most parents would not make the connection and would instead run with the idea that you think their child is obese.

[daycarediva]

I have a 4yo dcg that is big for her age be carried in and out daily. Here she is amazing, and can do EVERYTHING for herself but when her parents show it's baby talk and holding up her foot so they can put her shoes on. I just completely ignore it. It doesn't affect me AT ALL since there is zero carry over here.

[KSDC]

I always feel that it isn't my place to tell parents how to parent their child when they aren't in my care. So, if they want to carry the child in - that is their decision.
But, once the child is here, my munchkins are expected to behave at their maturity level.
And, none of my children are allowed to carry each other. If a "big" kid wants to hold the baby, they have to be sitting down.
Just my 2 cents...

[Play Care]

I always feel that it isn't my place to tell parents how to parent their child when they aren't in my care. So, if they want to carry the child in - that is their decision.
But, once the child is here, my munchkins are expected to behave at their maturity level.
And, none of my children are allowed to carry each other. If a "big" kid wants to hold the baby, they have to be sitting down.
Just my 2 cents...

The only issue I would have if parents expected me to continue the babying - handing the child off to me with the idea I will carry them in. To be honest, I still baby *my* babies (7 & 8) sometimes. I just don't expect anyone else to.

[Familycare71]

Drives me nuts too! I have a dcb 4 almost five who rarely walks when his parents are around... He is starting kindergarten this sept!! :: up side is he never asks me to carry him

[ShyMommy]

I always feel that it isn't my place to tell parents how to parent their child when they aren't in my care. So, if they want to carry the child in - that is their decision.

Thank you for this. From a working mother's perspective, the walk into daycare is an almost sacred thing between my daughter and myself. It's a time for last minute snuggles and letting her know that even though I have to leave her for a while, I'll miss her. It's a time for me to reassure her and comfort her, but most importantly it's -my- time. I don't get as much of it as I'd like, so if I want to spend it holding my daughter I don't really see the problem so long as I'm not expecting anyone else to do it and there are no problems during the transition (crying, clinging, etc.) when I put her down to play.

Just offering the other side. That goodbye is hard on us, too, even if we can't show it. Parents are people too.

[Hunni Bee]

And, none of my children are allowed to carry each other. If a "big" kid wants to hold the baby, they have to be sitting down.
Just my 2 cents...

That's what stood out to me. I have never allowed that, even between siblings. If anybody needs to be carried, the adults do it. If they don't need to be carried, then nobody does it.

[Blackcat31]

I do not care if a parent choses to carry their child in or out of daycare.

However, while AT daycare I expect those that can walk to walk. I don't allow any child that can walk to ride in a stroller or wagon...when we go for a walk they walk.

I DO encourage the kids to be independent by praising those that walk and don't insist on being carried.

I also have a rule at daycare that NO ONE CARRIES anyone. Related or not makes NO difference. (Other than my DH and/or any assistant or sub I have)