I Am So Tired Of SA Kid. Is It School Time Yet??

[kimsdaycare]

Sounds like she is used to being entertained by adults. Playing with adults is EASY, they hand over the toy you want, they role play whatever role they are told to. The child becomes accustomed to never having conflict during "entertain me" time. Then they go to daycare, with a group of children with their own play agenda, doesn't matter if its all fun ideas, the concept of not being the leader causes conflict and stress for the 1st child. First child tattles to dad, dad then confronts provider who is then expected to set the others straight. She knows this is what the outcome will be, she is banking on that complaint to start putting everyone in the position of giving her the leadership role she wants. Dad doesnt see it because after all she doesnt do this at home...she is the leader already, she is always happy right?

It will only pass when dad stops entertaining the complaints. Playing with kids is harder than playing with adults. She recognizes this and is trying to work whatever angle gets the group to submit to her. I'd tell dad to try to step back and allow her to adjust to group play without so much "help", she will learn so much more from that and be on her way to making many friends. Avoiding conflict in play is learned. It's merely a step in the process she hasn't had to deal with yet. As a parent it is hard to watch without stepping in, but in the long run it is better for the child to not be rescued so much. I would promise to watch that she isnt bullied, but we have to be careful that she isnt allowed to be the bully either. She is walking that line when she sends dad after the group with her complaints, that must be addressed as exactly what that is.

[coolconfidentme]

Wow That was long!::

(giggle)

[mrsnj]

Kim. Wow. You hit that really on the nose. She isn't a first child. She is the baby BUT her sister is 20. There is no others between. Basically an only child. Her parents baby her (she gets what she wants, knows how to turn on tears, does things for her like brushes her teeth for her and wipes her tush, whines) and are her entertainment. That is exactly the situation! Exactly why my daughter doesn't like to play there cause here all that is not entertained.

Crystal. Interesting bullying point of view and true. Had not thought of it that way. I do not envision my daughter being bffs with this child forever. No. Your right. She tolerates only so much. My daughter is independent and adventurous. She won't hang long with someone unwilling to try things and who whines about it.


During one of dads gripe sessions he brought up how his older daughter went through the same things and how he had to knock on friends doors because all her friends were being mean to her and she has no girl friends because how "catty" girls are. I thought it odd that both his children 14 yrs apart are going through the same thing and he had to knock on parents doors to complain. I have a 15 yr old girl and I didnt have issues. I asked my son (who is the same age as the older sister) what she was like in school and he said she was not nice. Mean and bossy to everyone (that was the nice way to put it. He used stronger wording )and the girls didnt like her because of it. Interesting. An enabler even back then where his child did no wrong and everyone else is at fault.

I think you guys got it

[itlw8]

Stop entertaining it.

I wouldn't wait for the next time Dad brings it up. I would, today, tell him that I have grown tired of hearing the complaints. That the complaints are not valid and I am not going tolerate false accusations against my child or any other child again. I would explain to him that I understand his concern, but he needs to understand that his child is manipulating him with LIES to get attention and that LIES put you at risk of being held liable for something that never happened. If he doesn't trust you to adequately supervise and protect his child then he MUST find other child care arrangements, as you will no longer allow YOUR child or the other children to be bullied in to doing everything her way and you can no longer risk that she may make a serious accusation that can put your entire business and livelihood at risk. (BTW, she is bullying your daughter and so is Dad..... every time this child lies and dad comes accusing your child of mistreating his daughter they are bullying her and you)

Tell him the TRUTH. His daughter is manipulating him with lies and you will no longer tolerate it. Either stop with the unwarranted complaints or find other care.

And, even though the girls will be in school together and they live nearby, does not mean your child should have to remain friends with her. Would you remain friends with someone who treated you the way this girl is treating your daughter?

If she stays, empower the other children to say "I do not like the way you are treating me and I choose not to play with you. When you decide to treat me better, then we can talk"

Yes what she said in spades. then tell him he is welcome to find other care for her and you will waive the required notice and it can be effective immediately if she is that unhappy.