Parent Behind In Paying... Always!

[m.kids1301]

I've been working with this one family for about 12 years now and I've done way more at times for them than most other families. I feel like I've been way too nice and gotten myself into more of a friend relationship than I should have. At first the 2 kids I took care originally in that family were on funding so I got paid. Then another one came along and was added to the funding. I had to deal with lots of behavior problems back then from the older 2 but I did get paid. Now that we seem to be in a permanent recession, mom can't get funding for the 3rd one or for the new, now 6 month old one. I've known her to never pay things on time, and from the get-go I was leery of taking on that baby and I don't even do under 12 months any more. I charge $22 a day and he's here 2 or 3 days a week and she's way behind in paying again. She owes me $309. She pays through bill pay $75 one week, skips a week and maybe it's $75 or $100.

This morning she said upon drop-off that he needs to have a breathing treatment because he's sick and congested, etc. etc. He is dropped off at 6:45 AM and isn't picked up usually until about 8:30 at night! I feel like I go above and beyond for her and she just doesn't appreciate it. I just asked her this morning if she can give me some more to get caught up and she spewed something about having her mom watch him until she could catch up. When she got to work she called me and starting YELLING at me about why couldn't I have talked to her about this another time and that I got her late to work (really?) and she just doesn't have any other way to catch it up but to take him out... Gads, I feel like I'm the least most bottom-est thing in anyone's budget. What we do doesn't matter until parents don't have a provider.

I've changed the wording in my contract to be more clear about payments or don't bring your child. I've had some wonderful people in here that are really great about payments and so forth, but these that just take advantage are so hard to deal with. Has anyone else had a similar experience and what have you done?

[NeedaVaca]

Payment in advance or you don't provide service. If they pull to get caught up you are still not making money, honestly I would look for a replacement for when they pull and not take them back. Why is he there if he's sick? I could never work those hours, that's an awfully long day...Yelling at me is unacceptable and that would be enough for me to term. I will not allow someone to disrespect me like that!

[EntropyControlSpecialist]

Payment in advance or you don't provide service. If they pull to get caught up you are still not making money, honestly I would look for a replacement for when they pull and not take them back. Why is he there if he's sick? I could never work those hours, that's an awfully long day...Yelling at me is unacceptable and that would be enough for me to term. I will not allow someone to disrespect me like that!

Implement the no pay, no stay policy immediately. There is no reason you should be working for free. Especially not 14 hour days! Her account needs to be paid in full before you will resume care.

Do you have a sick policy in place? What does it say?

Has this parent ever treated you this way before (as far as the yelling goes)? If so, have you confronted her on it or told her what would happen if it occurred again?

[Margarete]

Almost 14 hours of taking care of an infant for $22?? Is that typical in your area? Does she work that long? Regardless of the late payment issue that is a very long day for very little return... and right now you are doing it for free. In our area the infant/ teacher ratio is 1:4 (more with some older kids) which would mean under minimum wage at full capacity, and you still have expenses to pay for running a childcare home.

[JoseyJo]

I've been working with this one family for about 12 years now and I've done way more at times for them than most other families. I feel like I've been way too nice and gotten myself into more of a friend relationship than I should have. At first the 2 kids I took care originally in that family were on funding so I got paid. Then another one came along and was added to the funding. I had to deal with lots of behavior problems back then from the older 2 but I did get paid. Now that we seem to be in a permanent recession, mom can't get funding for the 3rd one or for the new, now 6 month old one. I've known her to never pay things on time, and from the get-go I was leery of taking on that baby and I don't even do under 12 months any more. I charge $22 a day and he's here 2 or 3 days a week and she's way behind in paying again. She owes me $309. She pays through bill pay $75 one week, skips a week and maybe it's $75 or $100.

This morning she said upon drop-off that he needs to have a breathing treatment because he's sick and congested, etc. etc. He is dropped off at 6:45 AM and isn't picked up usually until about 8:30 at night! I feel like I go above and beyond for her and she just doesn't appreciate it. I just asked her this morning if she can give me some more to get caught up and she spewed something about having her mom watch him until she could catch up. When she got to work she called me and starting YELLING at me about why couldn't I have talked to her about this another time and that I got her late to work (really?) and she just doesn't have any other way to catch it up but to take him out... Gads, I feel like I'm the least most bottom-est thing in anyone's budget. What we do doesn't matter until parents don't have a provider.

I've changed the wording in my contract to be more clear about payments or don't bring your child. I've had some wonderful people in here that are really great about payments and so forth, but these that just take advantage are so hard to deal with. Has anyone else had a similar experience and what have you done?

So you charge her $22 to watch an INFANT almost 14 hours?? That is a $1.57 an hour! How in the world can you even afford to do that?

We are in one of the lowest charging areas of the country and even around here the standard is $33 a day for infants, and a max of 10 hours or so...

[williams2008]

I agree with EntropyControlSpecialist. You need to implement the no pay, no stay policy immediately.

[cheerfuldom]

There is no way I would put up with any of this. Right a notice today that until she is paid in full, no child of hers will be provided with care. If she does not pay in full within 2 weeks, all her spots will be given to other families and you will begin the process of collecting funds from her anyway. If she gets caught up in time, all payments in the future will be in advance and in full or you will not provide services.

[snbauser]

If you can afford it, I would tell her you can no longer allow her to remain behind. Give her a date as to when she has to be current or you can no longer provide care and that you can not hold a spot if she pulls them. If you can't afford it, then start advertising now and fill the spot and then term. She is taking advantage of you and you are allowing her to.

[MotherNature]

Payment in advance or you don't provide service. If they pull to get caught up you are still not making money, honestly I would look for a replacement for when they pull and not take them back. Why is he there if he's sick? I could never work those hours, that's an awfully long day...Yelling at me is unacceptable and that would be enough for me to term. I will not allow someone to disrespect me like that!

This exactly. 12 years is more than enough time to get their act together.

[m.kids1301]

Thanks so much...

Thanks for the replies... makes me feel sane again. I started my day care in 1992 in a low income OLD neighborhood that even I don't want to live in. I got the house through Habitat for Humanity and if you are familiar with them, you know they don't get the best locations for houses. I thought to myself, "I wouldn't bring a kid over here for day care." I was a single parent then with a handicapped daughter (Rett Syndrome) so I had to do something. I charged really low back then just to get someone here. I've had LOTS of people set up interviews on the phone and not show up or call back. I figure they drove to the neighborhood took one look and left.

I have managed to get kids in here but I have to stick to the current market rates for my area, any more than that and people won't give me a second glance. Most people that call me the first thing they ask is how much. The ones that want to know what I do and care about what their kids do don't usually want to bring their kids here! It's so frustrating! The current market rate for an infant here is $110 for a week. So my daily rate is $22 a day.

I've taken families in the past I didn't want to deal with at all, and I know I'm too much of a push-over in lots of situations, but I've learned some things from experience and address that with parents from the get-go. This mom has been with me for a long time and I've done a LOT for her. She's from a really bad family background and even though I know she has her major faults I know she's wanted to better her situation and her kid's. They don't appreciate it at all, and yep she's a yeller and has yelled at her family members a LOT. Not at me, not like this morning. She's gotten upset with me in the past for misunderstandings but when I set her straight she got over it. It makes no sense to me that she'd get mad like that because I want to know how she's going to catch up her debt, and she KNOWS she'd be flippin' out livid if her employer did that to her.

She had her 18 year old son come and get the baby and I guess he won't be coming for a while. I don't see how else she could ever catch it up. And I've even given her a discount before with the daughter, but this is an infant and ALL DAY! It is crazy. Thanks for all the input and allowing me to vent. I feel a little better. :hug:

[m.kids1301]

one more thing...

I'm a bit scared right now because I don't have very many kids and not many are calling. Hardly anyone is getting on funding now because of the recession we seem to be stuck in, so I'm just not getting hardly anyone. I've had to drop my rates to get kids before! I'm not sure what else to do to get them in here... I'm going to hand out business cards again and put something at the school nearby. So sometimes I feel a little desperate!