What To Do With Non-Eaters??

[MCC]

I have a new DCG, she's 2 1/2 and this is her 4th day. She came from another home daycare one state over, they just moved. In addition to her having some minor behavior issues (not sharing, or even being aware of the concept, not listening, super attached to her shoes and her water cup) she will not eat.

Every day around lunch she hits a wall and starts melting down, I serve breakfast at 8:45, she doesn't touch it. I serve lunch at 11:45, and she's so hysterical at that point that she just screams at the table.

I'm at my wits end with this, and about to call mom, but I don't even know what to say?

Any tips on getting her to eat? Her parents said she isn't a great eater, but this is completely effecting her mood, and the rest of my poor kiddos.

[SilverSabre25]

What was her schedule at the old daycare? It actually sounds like she's super tired at 11:45.

[MCC]

Parents told me she napped from 1:30-3:30, same as here. Her first full day here, she napped from 1:30-5 when her mom picked her up though.

[Familycare71]

Personally- I would ignore it. I would require she sit at the table with everyone and use her manners. If she didnt she could go sit alone while the rest of us enjoyed our meals. No playing, books, lovies, etc.. Or I would say: if you can't use your manners at the table you must be so tired your ready for nap...
I don't fight about food- ever. That and the potty are the two things they have full control over- I have never had a kid not eat for long...

[Heidi]

I believe it's your job to offer, and that's all.

If she's crying at the table, I would kindly tell her that if she chooses not to eat, that's okay with you, but she cannot cry at the table because it hurts everyone's ears. So, if she wants to cry, then she can go ..... and do that.

Then, I would gently lead her to the spot, and say "if you change your mind and want to eat, you may come back, otherwise, this is the waiting and crying spot".

If she doesn't eat anything at your house for a while, she'll still be ok. Don't feel guilty. You can lead a horse to water...

I would also make sure to do some things that she might miss out on, like singing a song or finger-play, or reading a story at the end of lunch. I do that anyway, because I like having a captive audience.

I would like to add:
Just because a child is a picky eater, does not mean that their parents spend every night eating fast food or serving crackers. My son was offered the same foods as a infant and toddler as most of us serve here. Vegies, fruit, home-made foods. We didn't have the money to eat out frequently or buy a bunch of junk. I guess I feel like we tend to assume a lot about our dcp's because they have a picky eater.

[MCC]

I ended up putting her in the "crying spot" and she did come
Back and nibble on some apples.

Thanks for all the tips. I like the song/show idea, that's a great way to reward good manners and happy eaters!

[blandino]

I am having the same problem with a 3.5 year old DCB. His mom said he isn't a big eater at his interview. The child eats NOTHING. Not a btw of breakfast or lunch. He eats IF we have a grain at snack. Yesterday DCM told me he said the food here is "yucky", I wanted to say "healthy, yes".

Today was a ham & cheese roll-up in a flour tortilla, baked beans, & cucumbers. I asked him to try a bite of his ham & cheese and he started gagging.

I just emailed DCM to ask what he eats at home, but I am somewhat afraid to know the answer, considering he won't even touch a grilled cheese here.

[Blackcat31]

Odds are her previous provider required her to eat or try things. She probably has a bad attitude or some major anxiety about meal times if she is getting that upset on only her 4th day.

Personally, I would handle meals and snacks the same way I do all the other activities....invite her to join you but don't force her to do it. Don't make her sit or taste anything. Just invite her to join you. I wouldn't even ask, just say "Sally, your lunch is here if you want it."

Whatever she chooses to do, don't make a big deal out of it. Just let her be.

When she is ready, she may choose to join you. If not, then you still did your job which was to offer/serve. She declined. End of story.

I wouldn't leave her food out on the table. Just leave it there during lunch time and when lunch is over then clear it from the table and say something like "Well, maybe Sally will sit with us later at snack time" to the other kids.

I'd make lunch VERY mellow and not at all make a big deal out of it.

I would also talk with mom and see if she has any type of routine or issues with eating at home that you could work with.

Good luck. Food issues are usually a HUGE deal for providers or something they don't at all worry about. There doesn't seem to be any in between.

[daycarediva]

I am having the same problem with a 3.5 year old DCB. His mom said he isn't a big eater at his interview. The child eats NOTHING. Not a btw of breakfast or lunch. He eats IF we have a grain at snack. Yesterday DCM told me he said the food here is "yucky", I wanted to say "healthy, yes".

Today was a ham & cheese roll-up in a flour tortilla, baked beans, & cucumbers. I asked him to try a bite of his ham & cheese and he started gagging.

I just emailed DCM to ask what he eats at home, but I am somewhat afraid to know the answer, considering he won't even touch a grilled cheese here.

Sounds like my newish dcg. Although at this point, she does unroll tortillas to eat them plain. She ONLY eats grain. I have never, ever seen her eat anything else. Won't drink milk, or water (I offer nothing else). Mom said she is a 'picky eater', dcd informed me she has free access to, and essentially lives on, those giant boxes of generic goldfish crackers.

[Heidi]

My oldest son has always been a very picky eater. As a baby, he'd cry if I shoveled spinach or peas in his mouth, but was fine with orange vegies and fruits. This is 6 or 7 months of age.

As a toddler, he started dropping things he didn't want on the floor one-by-one. Mostly vegies.

Of course, much to my dismay, his eating habits were the talk of every freakin' family discussion (or near-family). For instance, older family friend is visiting, and says "Wow, G doesn't eat anything". Another visit a few years later (now he's 12), and she says "Wow! I've never seen G eat anything before".
My answer..."yeah, well, U*, we stopped bugging him about it, and he's much better now".

Since he's been able to articulate what, exactly, the issue is, we've found out that for him, it's mostly texture. His palate is also really sensitive, and he can taste nuances I can't (I think he should be a chef, personally). He was the kid that gagged if the wrong thing got in his mouth, and it wasn't purposeful. Also, a carb-****er, as my dh calls them.

He loves to cook now, and has considerably broadened what he eats. I've heard he's making blue-cheese and bacon burgers, and my reaction is :confused: really?

Anyway....

Being a picky eater isn't a behavioral thing. It just is. In another time or place these kids wouldn't have been able to be picky, but we have enough food and a big enough variety that they won't starve. Lucky them. I think giving it too much attention gives it way to much power though.

[EntropyControlSpecialist]

Personally- I would ignore it. I would require she sit at the table with everyone and use her manners. If she didnt she could go sit alone while the rest of us enjoyed our meals. No playing, books, lovies, etc.. Or I would say: if you can't use your manners at the table you must be so tired your ready for nap...
I don't fight about food- ever. That and the potty are the two things they have full control over- I have never had a kid not eat for long...

Great plan.

I had a 3-year-old that was melting down like this and I didn't give it any extra attention. It took 12 full days until he decided it's in his best interest to eat, so he now does. I used to really worry about it but now I just ASK if the child wants a certain food and go from there. I serve them what they want, ask that they try a bite of the other items (they all will and most end up requesting that food after they try it), and don't worry about the rest.

[blandino]

Sounds like my newish dcg. Although at this point, she does unroll tortillas to eat them plain. She ONLY eats grain. I have never, ever seen her eat anything else. Won't drink milk, or water (I offer nothing else). Mom said she is a 'picky eater', dcd informed me she has free access to, and essentially lives on, those giant boxes of generic goldfish crackers.

That's totally what I am thinking this kid does. He won't even drink milk. So I'm thinking processed foods and juice.

[EntropyControlSpecialist]

That's totally what I am thinking this kid does. He won't even drink milk. So I'm thinking processed foods and juice.

I had a child very similar to that here. He came to me drinking pediasure and eating popcorn and a dry cereal (I forget which one) ONLY at 2 1/2.

[Cradle2crayons]

I don't worry about non eaters. I offer. It's their choice to eat or not eat.

I figure even if they never eat a meal or snack here, they are getting plenty of calories at home, more than likely WAYYYY TOO MANY calories.

Once eating becomes a struggle, it's very difficult to fix.

[e.j.]

My oldest son has always been a very picky eater. As a baby, he'd cry if I shoveled spinach or peas in his mouth, but was fine with orange vegies and fruits. This is 6 or 7 months of age.

As a toddler, he started dropping things he didn't want on the floor one-by-one. Mostly vegies.

Of course, much to my dismay, his eating habits were the talk of every freakin' family discussion (or near-family). For instance, older family friend is visiting, and says "Wow, G doesn't eat anything". Another visit a few years later (now he's 12), and she says "Wow! I've never seen G eat anything before".
My answer..."yeah, well, U*, we stopped bugging him about it, and he's much better now".

Since he's been able to articulate what, exactly, the issue is, we've found out that for him, it's mostly texture. His palate is also really sensitive, and he can taste nuances I can't (I think he should be a chef, personally). He was the kid that gagged if the wrong thing got in his mouth, and it wasn't purposeful. Also, a carb-****er, as my dh calls them.

He loves to cook now, and has considerably broadened what he eats. I've heard he's making blue-cheese and bacon burgers, and my reaction is :confused: really?

Anyway....

Being a picky eater isn't a behavioral thing. It just is. In another time or place these kids wouldn't have been able to be picky, but we have enough food and a big enough variety that they won't starve. Lucky them. I think giving it too much attention gives it way to much power though.

My son also had (and at age 22 still has) texture issues with certain foods. The only veggies he'll eat are broccoli, green beans, corn, zucchini and sometimes, potatoes. He'll eat apples, pears, plums, strawberries, nectarines and grapefruit but is either allergic to or has texture issues with most fruit. There are also some foods he loves the taste of but their texture makes him gag. For example, he loves cake but can only eat a bite or two before he has to stop. Definitely not a behavioral issue.

I have a 4 year old dcg who will pretty much eat only breads/crackers here. Once in awhile, she'll eat chicken or tuna salad but that's about it. Her parents think she's just a picky eater. I think it may be more than that and often wonder if she has sensory issues or allergies, too.

I don't try to get her to eat at this point. I just offer the food. She decides whether or not to eat it.