How To Address A Child Who Is Less Advanced ?

[Rachel]

also, is the mom inhibiting her to move on. Like at that age she should be walking. I have so many younger kids her, that after a year, I help them walk. Every chance I get I either walk with them or if I see them on the ground I stand them up. I don't carry the kids. As for the talking, has she had ear infections alot, maybe she needs to see an ent. And the bottles, ditch them. Really she only needs them in the morning and at night.

I just have to say, some kids are later walkers than others. Up until 18 months is NORMAL. Yes, NORMAL. All my kids (excpet one) have had low muscle tone. You wouldn't know it by looking at them, but the earliest walked at 14 months, and the latest at 21 or so. My baby is just 12 months now and really wants to walk, but he's just not ready. It has nothing to do with me carrying him (which I never do). His muscle tone is actually fine (checked by a PT), and he is doing it at his own rate. I had a dcb last year who was standing well and cruising for 3-4 months before he decided to walk. He was faster crawling and not so into walking. And the mom was encouraging it (put him down in the middle of the floor on his feet, and guess what, he sat down and crawled to where he wanted to be).

[Crystal]

I think that moving the other child up and keeping one back is something that should be discussed before it even happens. I think parents need to be a part of the process and if you are moving a child from one group to another, the parent should be informed ahead of time, as it is likely that there will be a transition period in which the child may behave differently, etc. I am wondering why you would wait for the parent to ask about why the child has been moved and the other one hasn't, rather than discussing it ahead of time.

[countrymom]

but here's the flip. My ydd is 9 and I have a ds who is 11. My ydd has always been way advanced than kids her age. she walked early, rode her bike early, read early. So when it came to activities, I found that she was so bored in classes that had her age kids. So I always talked to the directors and moved her up. This year she played soccer with her brother and some kids that were 10 and some that were 9. Not only did you not know that she was the youngest, she was an awesome player. So, if the mom of the one that is advanced is all right with it, then move her up. It would be a shame to keep her back just because of another child. If you find that she can't keep up then move her back. And for the other mother, really its none of her business. No one knows that my dd is probably the youngest in her classes (she is tall so most don't question it) she keeps up with them all and I find her less bored too.

as for the mom of the kid who is behind. Sometimes parents need to see it first hand that they are not up to speed. And don't feel bad to compare. I compare all the kids, because this gives me an idea if a child is behind or something is wrong. But like the above poster said that her child had low muscle tone, well something can be done. Did the mother bring her in for her 18 month check up yet.

[blandino]

I think that moving the other child up and keeping one back is something that should be discussed before it even happens. I think parents need to be a part of the process and if you are moving a child from one group to another, the parent should be informed ahead of time, as it is likely that there will be a transition period in which the child may behave differently, etc. I am wondering why you would wait for the parent to ask about why the child has been moved and the other one hasn't, rather than discussing it ahead of time.

The DCM I am referrig to will be the mom of the little girl staying. I discuss transitions at length with parents, and the DCM of the little girl who has moved up was aware it was happening.

[Unregistered]

I'm not sure who has paid attention to my previous posts, but we are a large home daycare, which means we are licensed for 12 children with 2 adults present. We rent a separate home for the daycare. My mother has the 0-18/20 month olds and I have the 18/20 month + children who have a preschool schedule.

Right now we have 18 & 17 month old girls. The 18 month old has always been developmentally ahead of the game and hit all milestones early. The 17 month old has been here for a few months, only comes PT, and isn't walking yet and is still on the bottle (NOT an issue for us).

However, I have taken the 18 month old out with the big kids and when we start back to your preschool schedule in September, she will participate. She is now sleeping on a mat. The 17 month old just isn't ready. I could get past not walking, and carry her from activity to activity. But I can't take breaks from a preschool schedule to give bottles. Also, she just isn't as mature as she needs to be to be participating, reasonably following directions, there isn't a possibility for her to sleep on a mat ,etc.

Mom of the 17 month old is very talkative and involved with the daycare. I know she will notice that her child is still in with the infants and toddlers, while the other DCG has moved up. I don't really know how to address it if/when she asks. I can definitely say that the bottle issues has something to do with it, but that's not totally it. She just isn't mature enough. Is that a good enough response that she is just not mature enough at this point to participate ?

I had an 18mo old on the bottle still. Mom insisted, even though I suggested weaning him for more than just developmental reasons (he could not talk at ALL, not even mama and he had some decay and we wanted him to keep his cute straight teeth). I just gave him the bottle and he drank. I didn't have to 'feed' him like a newborn. I guess I didn't see the difference between letting him drink from bottle or sippy cup as far as time involved. Eventually, I just gave him a soft tip sippy and then a regular sippy. mom thanked me. I did NOT tell her what I was doing because I knew that she was a "see-er" and not a "tell you" type person.

That said, if there are OTHER concerns, then I'd move the older one up and the other one leave where she's at if she's happy. They are not siblings right? So, I can't imagine mom has any issue with it. The children are a bit different ages and it's your daycare and you have to do what's best for the kids. I would TELL mom what your plan is and why. But other than that, it's gotta be your call.

[EntropyControlSpecialist]

If I may, the first thing I noticed was that you have compared her to the other child a couple times. I think that needs to NOT be part of the equation.

I think comparing her to anyone else is a bad direction to go and I think mom will sense the comparison too....kwim?

IF or when DCM notices the other child has moved to the next age group and asks or comments about it, just be as a factual as possible.

Simply say that there are a few developmental milestones that need to be met before anyone is moved. I'd then list those requirements. I'd make sure I did it with the confidence that her child will get there but in her own time.

If DCM then decides to push her child to rid herself of the bottle and begin walking, that's up to her. You can't make someone advance developmentally if they simply aren't ready.

Mom can beg, plead, comment, be sad, be happy or whatever, but her child has simply not met the requirements.

That is as far as I would go with any of it. She hasn't let go of the bottle, she hasn't walked yet and doesn't demonstrate any of the attention or social skills yet that you mentions.

NOT a bad thing. Just an individual thing.

Great advice if or when DCM notices. happyface

[Unregistered]

17 mo old

I would be very concerned she isn't walking yet. I would address this concern with the Mom.

[blandino]

I would be very concerned she isn't walking yet. I would address this concern with the Mom.

Mom is already concerned, and has brought it up with the pediatrician. Ped says if she isn't walking at her 18m check-up, they will have her see a physical therapist.

It isn't considered a delay until 18 months.

[daycarediva]

Mom is already concerned, and has brought it up with the pediatrician. Ped says if she isn't walking at her 18m check-up, they will have her see a physical therapist.

It isn't considered a delay until 18 months.

My pediatrician (and a dcb's as well) considered it late at 15 months. Around here, they will do the referral for a PT eval ASAP since there is a waiting list.

I have a per diem 18mo and I could NOT imagine her drinking from a bottle or not walking. She does GREAT with a regular cup, self feeds, sits for the duration of circle, story time and can follow simple 1-2 step directions, takes one awesome nap and lays on her mat (although I do give her books if she wakes early). There would be NO WAY I would enroll a child in a prek program without those guidelines being met so I understand where you are coming from.

I would say nothing to Mom, and then if she asks, tell her that you would be happy to print her a list of the criteria that you are looking for to move her up. That each child develops differently, blah blah and that you wouldn't feel comfortable forcing such a big transition on dcg until she is ready.

[Margarete]

If the comparison comes up in addition to the 'requirements' for move up. I would be sure to point out that the other dcg is a bit older, and her daughter may be ready very soon. Development can often happen in spurts, and I am amazed at how much changes in even a months time.

[blandino]

My pediatrician (and a dcb's as well) considered it late at 15 months. Around here, they will do the referral for a PT eval ASAP since there is a waiting list.

I have a per diem 18mo and I could NOT imagine her drinking from a bottle or not walking. She does GREAT with a regular cup, self feeds, sits for the duration of circle, story time and can follow simple 1-2 step directions, takes one awesome nap and lays on her mat (although I do give her books if she wakes early). There would be NO WAY I would enroll a child in a prek program without those guidelines being met so I understand where you are coming from.

I would say nothing to Mom, and then if she asks, tell her that you would be happy to print her a list of the criteria that you are looking for to move her up. That each child develops differently, blah blah and that you wouldn't feel comfortable forcing such a big transition on dcg until she is ready.

Personally, I would be concerned at 15 months. When DCM and I spoke about therapy, she was of the mindset to wait and see what she is like at 18 mo. My personal opinion would be to set up therapy at 15 mo, and either they say she is going to walk eventually on her own or they say that there is an issue with motor skills. Either way, to me it would be win/win.

[countrymom]

our dr would be concerned at 15 months here too so therapy can start asap.