Help With "Adjustment Period" Term :(

[TheGoodLife]

So my baby that cries all the time is very stressful. My usually calm baby has been crying more, my 2 yr old DCG has cried 2xs this week (she's never cried in the 2 months I've had her), and I have had NO time for outside/ circle time/ and other fun things I like to do.
I have a wait list, and I really want to tell DCM tomorrow that it's not working It's going to be SO hard!!! I have a 2 week adjustment period in my contract, where either of us can term immediately. I would give 2 weeks, but I just can't risk waiting it out to see if she'll adjust better at the cost of my family and DC's sanity and losing my wait-listed families. I've done 2 newborns at the same time (my DD and my DCG who was 2 weeks old at the time) but they were both very laid back and good babies so I figured I would have no problem with these two 6month olds. I just can't handle missing out on so much in my schedule AND I can't stand knowing this poor baby is crying/screaming b/c I have to put her down to make breakfast and then lunch... Move away from her side during play time... and so forth.
Any suggestions on how to best break it to mom? I have it in my head right now, but I know you wonderful ladies always word things more eloquently than I can sometimes!

[MCC]

I just had to do this last month. I had a family hold a spot for 4 months (at full rate) and then when the baby started, at 6 months old, she was awful. Cried All.the.time. Like panic cry, screaming, red face, tears all over the place. She wouldn't take a bottle, she wouldn't sleep. It was horrible. The other children were angry, holding their ears, crying.

After the first week and she still wouldn't take a bottle from me, my husband, or my sub, I told the mom to start looking for a private nanny, as that is what I think might be the best thing for dcg.

I just kept pushing that it is best for dcg, and she will be happier with one on one attention. I struggled with it a lot, especially since they had held the spot for so long, but it was too stressful to have all that tension in the house.

On the second week, dcm asked me why I didn't change her diaper every time she peed, and that really made the decision easier ::

I was really surprised how well the mom took it, I did let them stay until they had found a nanny, so they weren't left with no options. Good luck, hopefully mom will understand!

ETA: she ended up being here a total of 1 month and 1 week, she never did stop the crying, or took a bottle from me, not once. So with this one is wasn't about "adjusting" more that she was held 100% of the time at home, and every squeak and peep got tended to. Parents bounced up and down, and held her in front of the window to get her to take a bottle at home....

[TheGoodLife]

I just had to do this last month. I had a family hold a spot for 4 months (at full rate) and then when the baby started, at 6 months old, she was awful. Cried All.the.time. Like panic cry, screaming, red face, tears all over the place. She wouldn't take a bottle, she wouldn't sleep. It was horrible. The other children were angry, holding their ears, crying.

After the first week and she still wouldn't take a bottle from me, my husband, or my sub, I told the mom to start looking for a private nanny, as that is what I think might be the best thing for dcg.

I just kept pushing that it is best for dcg, and she will be happier with one on one attention. I struggled with it a lot, especially since they had held the spot for so long, but it was too stressful to have all that tension in the house.

On the second week, dcm asked me why I didn't change her diaper every time she peed, and that really made the decision easier ::

I was really surprised how well the mom took it, I did let them stay until they had found a nanny, so they weren't left with no options. Good luck, hopefully mom will understand!

ETA: she ended up being here a total of 1 month and 1 week, she never did stop the crying, or took a bottle from me, not once. So with this one is wasn't about "adjusting" more that she was held 100% of the time at home, and every squeak and peep got tended to. Parents bounced up and down, and held her in front of the window to get her to take a bottle at home....

One thing this family told me as well was that she HATES wet diapers and they change it first thing when she fusses. Yeah, 8 diaper changes that first 9 1/2 hr day was it for me, too I'm holding her right now, but even as my only DCK today she has cried all but 30 mins. when she fell asleep. I feel so bad for the mom, but I'm just stressing that I want what's best for the girl (which is true- she's such a sweet little thing when she's happy!!!) and that I don't feel right caring for her when I think she needs a different environment. I suggested an infant only room at a center, so the providers can be doing more floor play like she likes (the times I can't hold her are mostly meals, circle time, art times, ect- all things infant only room wouldn't be doing). Parents are very good parents, but I have a feeling she gets held most of the time at home- they might not even realize it- and it's just what she's used to.

[MCC]

Just stick to your guns. I went back and forth every day, heck every hour in my head about keeping her vs. terming her. One day I got so fed up that I just knew I had to do it.

I wrote it on her baby log in the comments section so I knew I couldn't back out. "please find alternative care for dcg by this date, thank you." and then talked to mom about it at length during pick up. It wasn't a surprise at all, so I think that's why it went so well.

[2grls4us]

I had this same situation happen. The dcg was 7mos when she started. She would cry until she vomitted, then cry because she vomitted. The other kids were stressed and acting out. I tried everything I could think of. I would tell the dad everyday how much she cried or how many times she got sick. She refused to nap at all. I had her for 9 hours and she would cry for 7 or more. I kept her for 4 months reporting daily to dad and mom about the situation. They'd just bring more clothes for her to be changed into and seem surprised because she never did that at home. Finally I had enough and asked mom if she had any ideas as to what was going on, what was her thoughts? She said "I don't know what to tell you". My answer was "Then you need to find someone else." I felt like I gave it my all. I actually had other parents come and go with her crying and throwing fits. They were voiceing concern for their own children and not feeling I was giving good care due to the stress of the one. So to keep from losing the others I had to terminate. Have had no regrets.
I would say if you have a waiting list start calling and fill the spot before giving notice. Good luck. Just remember your not doing this for only you, but for your entire family and other daycare families.

[EntropyControlSpecialist]

I just had to do this last month. I had a family hold a spot for 4 months (at full rate) and then when the baby started, at 6 months old, she was awful. Cried All.the.time. Like panic cry, screaming, red face, tears all over the place. She wouldn't take a bottle, she wouldn't sleep. It was horrible. The other children were angry, holding their ears, crying.

After the first week and she still wouldn't take a bottle from me, my husband, or my sub, I told the mom to start looking for a private nanny, as that is what I think might be the best thing for dcg.

I just kept pushing that it is best for dcg, and she will be happier with one on one attention. I struggled with it a lot, especially since they had held the spot for so long, but it was too stressful to have all that tension in the house.

On the second week, dcm asked me why I didn't change her diaper every time she peed, and that really made the decision easier ::

I was really surprised how well the mom took it, I did let them stay until they had found a nanny, so they weren't left with no options. Good luck, hopefully mom will understand!

ETA: she ended up being here a total of 1 month and 1 week, she never did stop the crying, or took a bottle from me, not once. So with this one is wasn't about "adjusting" more that she was held 100% of the time at home, and every squeak and peep got tended to. Parents bounced up and down, and held her in front of the window to get her to take a bottle at home....

My state's licensing requirements actually say that I MUST change a diaper every time it is soiled. I don't have any infants in diapers, only toddlers/preschoolers, so I just monitor it and they don't need to be changed hourly. I can't imagine how many diapers I'd go through changing an infant every time they soiled their diaper. 1-2 an hour?

[MCC]

My state's licensing requirements actually say that I MUST change a diaper every time it is soiled. I don't have any infants in diapers, only toddlers/preschoolers, so I just monitor it and they don't need to be changed hourly. I can't imagine how many diapers I'd go through changing an infant every time they soiled their diaper. 1-2 an hour?

Mine is the same, it says "change soiled diapers promptly" So, by promptly, I change before and after naps, before and after outside time, immediately after poops, and any other time it feels like more than one pee. I am not going to go around squishing butts to see if there is pee in there every 20 minutes. With 3 in diapers, I would be changing diapers every 5 minutes. I think I change 5/6 times per kid in the 7 hours they are here. If they have a rash I will change every 30 minutes or so, but that's an exception.

[TheGoodLife]

I change as needed, as well- but if she is just damp I would leave it a bit. That's not a huge problem, I just have a feeling they think she's crying due to a wet diaper, and then hold her afterward- when in reality she is crying to be held

My approx. running tally so far:

hours happy, playing w/o me-1
hours crying- 3
hours sleeping- 2
hours being held- 3

Yeah, this really helped me, and I can show them detail by detail the day (I only have my 3 today so it was easy to type up everything into my notes on my phone) She needs an environment where she can be held more and ease into more independence. I prefer 12 months+, but I took her b/c at 6 months I assumed she'd be a bit more set into things and she'd be a year before I knew it. Not at this rate, though I can't take that much time from my other DCKs and my DDs.