Help With The Kid That Has An Impulsive Mouth

[countrymom]

also that type of language isn't a way a 4 yr old talks. So he had to have heard it from somewhere. I always can tell if its a 4 yr old talking or an adult. No wonder we have so many bullies.

My ds has a group of boys that were in his class (they are all 11) they all play hockey, if you hear and see how violent and mouthy they are you would be floored. Yet my ds is quiet layed back and he doesn't have a mouth on him. Its because thats the way I raised him. He plays sports but he knows better than telling another child that they **** or that they are stupid, but alot of kids pick up on adult talk and think its ok to talk like this.

[WImom]

I get what you are all saying with the time out. Sometimes I think he doesn't stay in time out because he wants me to continue putting him there so he's getting my attention. I have been just going about my day and I tell him he can not continue with out activities until his time out is over and point to the time out mat. If he decides it's a fun activity so now he's going to sit for 4 minutes and still don't let him do the activity. He needs to wait until the next one.

I will be letting his mom know today that he has been threatening me with hitting me. I was going to let it go but he said it to me again today when I made him give a puzzle piece back to a kid he took it from. I will be letting her know that if he does Hit me she will be called and he will be terminated.

[EntropyControlSpecialist]

I am so tired of tip-toeing around kids who are behaving badly. This is a child who seems to be screaming for firm guidance. He's behaving horribly, and getting away with it. Unlike others, I would STOP putting this on his parents. Having him say he's sorry *hours* after the fact is meaningless. He shouldn't be allowed to continue his reign of terror in the playroom. He should be right with you, playing with a small basket of toys of your choosing. Being able to play freely with friends is a privilege.

At the risk of being slammed, a 4 yo child who *dared* get up out of a time out that they completely earned and deserved would be put firmly back in TO with a very firm/stern "NO! DO NOT GET UP!" When I say firm, I mean firm. Not slammed, not thrown, but firm enough so they know that they better park their bottom. And if the child is a little bit fearful after that? GOOD (GASP) I spend all day praising, encouraging, rewarding. Chances are if it gets to the point I do a TO the child has had multiple reminders, we've probably read books about the issue, role played, etc. We've completely exhausted other efforts. Obviously if there continued to be issues I would evaluate my ability to continue care, because if the child's behavior is that bad, I'd worry about losing my "better" kids because of it.

I agree.

I DID put my DCB's behavior on his parents once. I told them that they MUST speak to him about his behavior in order for him to remain here. They did and they know that I am strict with him here.

[EntropyControlSpecialist]

I get what you are all saying with the time out. Sometimes I think he doesn't stay in time out because he wants me to continue putting him there so he's getting my attention. I have been just going about my day and I tell him he can not continue with out activities until his time out is over and point to the time out mat. If he decides it's a fun activity so now he's going to sit for 4 minutes and still don't let him do the activity. He needs to wait until the next one.

I will be letting his mom know today that he has been threatening me with hitting me. I was going to let it go but he said it to me again today when I made him give a puzzle piece back to a kid he took it from. I will be letting her know that if he does Hit me she will be called and he will be terminated.

Take by the hand, place back in time out, and say, "NO." very firmly. After that one no, just take him by the hand and place him there every single time. No speaking, no looking at him, just place him there. If you have a baby playyard and he can't remain in time out I might consider placing him there for his 5 minutes.