Am I taking it the wrong way or should I say something

[Unregistered]

I don't think I could continue to provide service for an adult who decides not to engage in typical polite conversation nor answer my questions. If he is not capable of saying good morning or answering your direct questions then they should move on to a provider they can be polite and respectful to. I would not accept this behaviour from a child. I sure will not tolerate it from an adult. What a wonderful example he is setting for the children in your care.

[hoopinglady]

Say something.

You have to clear the air or it will drive you nuts.

I wouldn't even be aggressive about it, just very forward.

"Is there a problem you'd like to discuss?"

Clearly communication, respect and trust at at the heart of our relationship.

[littlemissmuffet]

I have a family that is still some what new. I recently had to charge them a late fee for not paying on time. DCP were really angry about it.

After talking with the DCM in person, she has since apologized and things have gone on as normal.

The DCD drops off sometimes too as well as picks up. He is not the most sociable guy, but was always very nice.

I never talked face to face with DCD about the late fee and you can tell that he is holding a grudge towards me about it. It was charged last week and since then, he has not said 1 word to me. I on the other hand have carried on like I always do, tell them about the kids day, anything important type stuff, dad won't even look at me.

Well this morning, I asked dcd if the kids were still going to get picked up early today. He won't even look at me, does not answer my question. He takes off his daughters shoes, signs her in and leaves.

I am soooo sick of the childish games, I refuse to play them. I just don't know if I am reading into too much or if I need to say something.

what would you do here??

Terminate, effective immediately. My business is looking after children - not looking after adults who ACT LIKE children.

[EntropyControlSpecialist]

I would have immediately said, "I'm sorry, maybe you didn't hear me. ARE THE KIDS GOING TO BE PICKED UP EARLY TODAY? "

It'd be really hard to ignore me and I won't be ignored by a child OR an adult. Ever.

[melilley]

How rude and childish! I'm like you, I probably wouldn't have said anything, but it would have been brewing in my mind all day! I think that if it happened again that I would have to say something though.

My dh would be livid if a parent treated me like that. I do not think that you are taking it the wrong way at all! Sorry he was so rude to you!

[AfterSchoolMom]

Totally agree with Crystal. Don't stand for that kind of treatment! I wouldn't let this behavior continue for one more minute. Either he stops acting like a child or they're out!

[Unregistered]

No it's not you. I'm a nice person, so much so that I tend to be walked on a lot. But I'm getting better I would ask him first "is there something the matter, you haven't been yourself lately?" Then go from there.

Good luck!

[daycare]

update.......

don't be mad at me, but I took my husbands advice. I didn't say anything. At pick up DCD came. I of course thought here we go again.

well guess I was reading in to it a little too much. When he arrived, DCKs was happy to see him and I told DCD all about their day. DCD was quiet at first and didn't say to much (which is the norm) then said, glad to see them doing so well here. Things have been crazy at home and my head has been spinning. At least we know the kids are still in a good routine and still have it together.

I sigh relief......then say, yes, the DCK are doing great. Happy to see you in a good mood........

He replies, why, was I in a bad mood before????


Seriously !!!! I wanted to say something like why have you been ignoring me for the last few days????

this family has only been with me a few months. I don't see dad that often and don't really know him well. My husband pointed all of this out to me. He told me to try to be open to accepting that he just might be a very antisocial person.

I still feel like I was some what right though and I was so ANGRY that DCD was not answering my questions.......who knows, maybe he is hard of hearing........

Well today is friday and I have had a pretty crappy week. NOTHING is going to go wrong today. I am making today a NO pissing off ME day......

[Crystal]

Glad it worked out.

In regards to him possibly being antisocial.....okay, I get that some people truly are. But, that does not excuse him not answering direct questions regarding the care of his children. Next time, (and there will likely be a next time) please hold him accountable.

Have a fabulous day lady, you deserve one! :hug:

[mom2many]

I'm glad everything is better with dcd! When I read this thread, I thought, "Why would this guy act like this!?!?"

My dh is hard of hearing and often doesn't hear a dcp say something. He is in his own little world and I often need to repeat what they just said, because I know he isn't ignoring them...he truly doesn't realize they are talking to him. He has hearing aids now, but with the noise level here during the day, he avoids wearing them until dcks leave!

I've had dcd's that barely speak a word and it can be awkward at times. This dcd seems to definitely be lacking in social skills!

Have a great day! It's Friday! happyface

[Familycare71]

update.......

don't be mad at me, but I took my husbands advice. I didn't say anything. At pick up DCD came. I of course thought here we go again.

well guess I was reading in to it a little too much. When he arrived, DCKs was happy to see him and I told DCD all about their day. DCD was quiet at first and didn't say to much (which is the norm) then said, glad to see them doing so well here. Things have been crazy at home and my head has been spinning. At least we know the kids are still in a good routine and still have it together.

I sigh relief......then say, yes, the DCK are doing great. Happy to see you in a good mood........

He replies, why, was I in a bad mood before????


Seriously !!!! I wanted to say something like why have you been ignoring me for the last few days????

this family has only been with me a few months. I don't see dad that often and don't really know him well. My husband pointed all of this out to me. He told me to try to be open to accepting that he just might be a very antisocial person.

I still feel like I was some what right though and I was so ANGRY that DCD was not answering my questions.......who knows, maybe he is hard of hearing........

Well today is friday and I have had a pretty crappy week. NOTHING is going to go wrong today. I am making today a NO pissing off ME day......

I have a dad that is weird socially. Sometimes he is fine and other times he is really quiet and appears stand offish... It's just him- I smile and chatter either way . I think that the timing was bad with the late payment fee and them being new.
I would have repeated the question tho until he answered!

[Laurel]

update.......

don't be mad at me, but I took my husbands advice. I didn't say anything. At pick up DCD came. I of course thought here we go again.

well guess I was reading in to it a little too much. When he arrived, DCKs was happy to see him and I told DCD all about their day. DCD was quiet at first and didn't say to much (which is the norm) then said, glad to see them doing so well here. Things have been crazy at home and my head has been spinning. At least we know the kids are still in a good routine and still have it together.

I sigh relief......then say, yes, the DCK are doing great. Happy to see you in a good mood........

He replies, why, was I in a bad mood before????


Seriously !!!! I wanted to say something like why have you been ignoring me for the last few days????

this family has only been with me a few months. I don't see dad that often and don't really know him well. My husband pointed all of this out to me. He told me to try to be open to accepting that he just might be a very antisocial person.

I still feel like I was some what right though and I was so ANGRY that DCD was not answering my questions.......who knows, maybe he is hard of hearing........

Well today is friday and I have had a pretty crappy week. NOTHING is going to go wrong today. I am making today a NO pissing off ME day......

Don't doubt yourself! Yes, possibly he had a problem with hearing or whatever but most probably he didn't. He probably was just acting like a little kid and was mad for a while but finally got over it. If that is the case, it will probably happen again so you'll find out eventually.

My daughter has an ex and also dated another guy in the past without social skills. He had a past that was largely responsible for his ineptness but still he could do certain things when 'he' wanted to and she was sticking up for him at one point. After I gave her a talking to :: she told him that when a little boy looks up at him and says HI he had better darn well say HI back to him. Yea her!

I swear this little guy kept saying hi to him (and he is a family member) and he didn't say Hi back because he didn't feel like it? I don't think so!!!! If this dad can be pleasant now he could have been pleasant before.

Laurel

[Meeko]

Glad it worked out.

In regards to him possibly being antisocial.....okay, I get that some people truly are. But, that does not excuse him not answering direct questions regarding the care of his children. Next time, (and there will likely be a next time) please hold him accountable.

Have a fabulous day lady, you deserve one! :hug:

Absolutely this! ^^^

Socially awkward is one thing, but ignoring people is another. Maybe give him the benefit of the doubt this time, but PLEASE don't let him ever do it again. Just because he doesn't want to make chatty conversation doesn't stop him from saying yes or no to a question.

[daycare]

Absolutely this! ^^^

Socially awkward is one thing, but ignoring people is another. Maybe give him the benefit of the doubt this time, but PLEASE don't let him ever do it again. Just because he doesn't want to make chatty conversation doesn't stop him from saying yes or no to a question.

I just talked to my husband about everything posted here and he said he kind of feels like an a$$. He said he was sorry that he didn't see it that way and that although he was some what right. He didn't see it happen first hand, only from across the room. He said that if he sees it happen or hears about it again that he will say something to this DCD. He said he felt bad that I was feeling disrespected and didn't jump in.

Trust me, I won't let this slide again.....next time they will be packing bags

[Meeko]

I just talked to my husband about everything posted here and he said he kind of feels like an a$$. He said he was sorry that he didn't see it that way and that although he was some what right. He didn't see it happen first hand, only from across the room. He said that if he sees it happen or hears about it again that he will say something to this DCD. He said he felt bad that I was feeling disrespected and didn't jump in.

Trust me, I won't let this slide again.....next time they will be packing bags

Atta girl!! ::::::