Stepped On Child's Face!?

[Angelsj]

I don't know if I would jump to conclusions here. Some kids actually believe their made up/dreamt stories. We recognize it as lying, but often they do not. It may not be malicious at all.
When one of my older kiddos was about 4-5, he would come inside from the fenced back yard with all sorts of jungle stories about how there were lions and chimps and he fought them and saved his brother, etc, etc.
He was fully convinced these stories were true, and if you tried to tell him they were not, he would work just as hard to convince you they were. I just kept telling him, "That is an amazing story. You should be a writer some day."
Not accusing him of lying, but obviously not buying into it. These kids are still sorting out fantasy/dreaming with reality.

I would just let the kiddo know you do not believe it, and keep open the lines of communication with the parents. Let them know you will not believe what he says about his home life without running it past them, if they will afford you the same courtesy.

I hear some pretty fancy stories about what my kiddos did over the weekend with their parents.

[daycarediva]

I would talk to the parent then. Tell them that their child's lies are causing you concern and that he is becoming a liability. Tell them if it doesn't stop that you will have to term as you cannot take the risk of being held liable for injuring or neglecting a child intentionally.


Also, I have had children fib to their parents in front of me, typically about another child. I call them out on it right in front of the parent and insist they tell the truth right then and there. Parents KNOW that I will not tolerate lying from any child.

everything she said.

yesterday a dck said at pick up "DCG hit me today!" and I had to clarify, "No dcb, that is not true, you hit dcg!" and he looked sheepish at Mom who was about to freak out.

[Play Care]

I don't know if I would jump to conclusions here. Some kids actually believe their made up/dreamt stories. We recognize it as lying, but often they do not. It may not be malicious at all.
When one of my older kiddos was about 4-5, he would come inside from the fenced back yard with all sorts of jungle stories about how there were lions and chimps and he fought them and saved his brother, etc, etc.
He was fully convinced these stories were true, and if you tried to tell him they were not, he would work just as hard to convince you they were. I just kept telling him, "That is an amazing story. You should be a writer some day."
Not accusing him of lying, but obviously not buying into it. These kids are still sorting out fantasy/dreaming with reality.

I would just let the kiddo know you do not believe it, and keep open the lines of communication with the parents. Let them know you will not believe what he says about his home life without running it past them, if they will afford you the same courtesy.

I hear some pretty fancy stories about what my kiddos did over the weekend with their parents.

There is a HUGE difference between telling tall tales (we fought dragons outside today!) and lying to get someone in trouble (Darcy HIT me! and Darcy hasn't been in all week.) And even if a 4 or 5 year old child doesn't think they are lying when they are telling tales to get someone in trouble, I believe it's our job to help clarify that point for them.

[EntropyControlSpecialist]

There is a HUGE difference between telling tall tales (we fought dragons outside today!) and lying to get someone in trouble (Darcy HIT me! and Darcy hasn't been in all week.) And even if a 4 or 5 year old child doesn't think they are lying when they are telling tales to get someone in trouble, I believe it's our job to help clarify that point for them.

I DO encourage their imaginative play and tell them that they have a good imagination/what a good story/say, "Oh wouldn't that be fun?!"/etc. TOTALLY different.

[Play Care]

It really depends on the situation, but for me, I'd probably take the opposite track.

I'd roll my eyes and say "No, silly, GODZILLA came rolling in here on a monster truck the other day, and HE stepped on your face, then we had ice cream!"

No....

(2 or 3 other ridiculous stories)

Then, I would take dcb aside later, and gently remind him that although I LOVE, LOVE his imagination, we only tell when someone REALLY hurts them, because otherwise no one will believe you if you are hurt. So, if you want to make up stories, that's ok, but not about someone hurting you.

Of course, that would be my planned response, but on the fly, I"d probably be a little freaked, too.

If it were just the child coming to me at dc claiming another child hurt them and I know it didn't happen, I might do your approach.

I think the issue I would have is if the parent came to me in front of the child - As a parent I would be annoyed if the teacher tried to make light of it. At 5, their stories are usually more believable so I would want the real story (if there is one) and some reassurance.

[Angelsj]

There is a HUGE difference between telling tall tales (we fought dragons outside today!) and lying to get someone in trouble (Darcy HIT me! and Darcy hasn't been in all week.) And even if a 4 or 5 year old child doesn't think they are lying when they are telling tales to get someone in trouble, I believe it's our job to help clarify that point for them.

I wasn't there, so it would really depend on the tone and attitude of the child. Was he really trying to get someone in trouble? Or was he just nonchalantly telling a tale about "what happened"? That would make a difference to me. I just don't think we should assume malice on the part of the child here. At 5, sometimes things are just unclear to them.

[Moppetland]

I don't know what it is with children when they get a certain age. I had a child tell her parents that I beat her with a belt. The parents told me that she was in the car on their way home, and the child pointed to her behind and said "ouch". They asked what was wrong and that's when she told them that.

The next day one parent asked me, and I just told them that she just straight out told a lie. She was 3 years old then. I don't hit any children in my day care. I didn't even spank my own kids with a belt. I told her this too.

So, at the end of the week, that child was dropped off. She pointed to a spot on her arm and said "ouch". I asked her what was wrong. Guess what she said? Her mom beat her with the belt.

So, when her mom came to pick her up, I told her what happened, and she just smiled. I told her that she is fascinated with being beat with a belt. I don't think the mother believed me. I think they lost their trust in me because about a month later they were gone.

That's one thing about this job. It's a risk of losing you reputation and freedom based on what a child says you do while in care. It doesn't matter if the story is an outright lie. They are believed first.

[EntropyControlSpecialist]

I just remembered ... when I was first open and my husband did not help me yet, a child said, "The black man spanked me." My husband had never even interacted with the child, he had simply walked by him.

I asked the Dad if the child had ever had any bad interactions with a black man before and the Dad said no. I told the Dad what the child said and I told him that I found it odd. They stayed here for a few months and left a couple of months before Kindergarten began. I have no idea if it was because of that comment but it was extremely odd. The child was 5.