A Straight Month Of Hating This Job

[Brooksie]

I'm so out of it this month. I'm over worked, underpaid, way too stressed out, and overwhelmed. I finally saw the light at the end of the tunnel and decided to go back to school. I'm still in the research phase, trying to figure out what I need to do, what it will cost and how much time I can put into it. I'm already swamped. Never have time to myself. Never done with work. Never planned properly for the next day because it takes so much to get organized at the end of the day and cleaned up and what not.

Well last night was the night I was going to talk to my boyfriend about what we needed to do to make my schooling happen. He's moving in at the end of the month and we are really stressed about money already. Before I can even talk to him about it he says we need to talk about his schedule. He's a very successful tattoo artist and makes decent money, but he has a lot of bills that take a huge chunk out of his income. They just found out that a new shop is opening up across the street from them and are expecting to take a hit. We were just getting ready to cut his hours so he can be home before dd goes to bed. His new proposal is that he needs to stay late at work to pick up the extra flow that they turn away. Makes sense, but that means he wont be home until around 11:30. That means I won't be getting any of the help I thought I would get so that I can study.

I totally lost it. Broke down sobbing. I though I was finally seeing the positive and I couldn't imagine not making the progress to get out of this rut. Apparently I really needed that cry because I couldn't stop for 45 minutes. He assures me we can still do it and he will push me to get through it, especially if I'm so unhappy now. Its just so hard. Everything. I know life isn't easy, and I never expected that. Its just daycare is especially difficult, and when I made this investment I expected a lot more money and its just not here. When we were really discussing the bills I owe every month and then the income I have from DC we were really shocked at how we are even surviving. It doesn't make sense because I'm not even close to making my bills yet somehow still scrape by. I'm just tired of being tired. I'm tired of being stressed. I just want something to go right for once.

And on top of all the stress I'm just done with the daycare. I don't have it in me this month. I have no time to plan our days the way I want, I am lacking patience and energy. The kids are being especially difficult, one has been an extreme clingy crier, the other started biting and hitting, and then I have a new girl who's great but with every one else being difficult its just not what I want. Today is a rainy day and we are stuck inside and of course everyone is whining and complaining and I can really see myself losing it by the end of the day. Any suggestions on how to get through the rough patches? Even if I start school I'm still in this 4-5 more years..

[Crystal]

:hug::hug::hug:

We have all been there at one point or another. It is difficult when you start feeling burnout, but add financial issues and lack of help with the household after hours can really make it almost unbearable.

Keep talking about it. Here, with your boyfriend, with family. It helps, a little. Also, network with other providers if at all possible. Is there a FCC association or referral agency that offers free workshops? I know it seems like that just takes more of your precious time, but getting to know other providers, while learning new strategies of working with the children, can really lift your spirits and make work more manageable. You can likely take your daughter along, and she can make new friends too.

I understand your situation with school. I just finished my MA after 8 years. I did much of my schooling of line, until I got to my MA, which I did on weekend long intensives for two and half years. It WAS hard, but SO worth it....it gave me time away from "here" where I was stuck working day in and day out, and I built some incredible relationships with the ladies in my cohort....relationships that sustain me when times are tough.

Hugs to you. Know all of your virtual friends are here to support you. Keep talking, keep venting, and make sure you DEMAND help when you need it.

[Margarete]

I've been taking 1 class a semester for a couple of years now for personal enrichment. I did online classes while my daughter was nursing, and after I was taking a one night a week class. They have been ECE classes, so I'm still talking about childcare, and focusing on their development, but it's nice to have one night a week to step away from all children for a few hours (including my own). I love working with them, and I love my breaks
Ideas on how your boyfriend may be able to help you make progress. Is there one set night during a week that he can take off? I would imagine that his business is busiest on weekends. Or maybe he, or another assistant can help one half day during day care hours to let you step out to take one class.

One class has been easy to manage for me while doing everything else, still feels like a break (and bonus my daughter gets one on one daddy time). Next semester I'm taking 2 though, one online ECE and sign language 3 which is going to be 2 nights a week. You can look at increasing your load once it feels more manageable, and you can get more help.

[coolconfidentme]

:hug: ((hugs)) :hug:

[EntropyControlSpecialist]

My first year was my hardest. Really, my first 9 months. I am quite familiar with the way you are feeling. Hang in there mama. It DID get better for me. :hug:

[DaisyMamma]

:hug:

That's tough. I'm so sorry. Perhaps you can hire some help with the daycare?

[cheerfuldom]

what is your program like? honestly, I would considering scaling back as much as possible both with the number of kids, the time you are preparing items, the actual items in the daycare (sell as much as you can). just keep a very minimal program based on play to really cut down on the constant planning. if you arent in the food program, dont provide meals at all. just have the parents do breakfast and dinner and send a sack lunch to daycare. things like that. you need to scale back as much as possible and get this beast under control. you sound a little type A, perhaps you are expecting way too much from yourself here?

i have 7 kids here total with my kids but i do not do any daycare stuff outside of daycare hours. i dont cook, kids are sent with food. i clean while they are playing. i dont offer preschool curriculum. i strictly supervise, keep kids safe, provide basic needs, thats it.

[mrsnj]

(((((hugs)))))

I think each of us get to this point at some time in our career. I know winter is my bad time and get frustrated and down and swear I would rather pump gas!! Or just plain have a bad day where it seems like everything is falling down around us.

For ME being organized is my savor. I plan ahead. I use my naptime to prep along with do my own things like fold a load of laundry or make a call. I divide my kids into ages/abilities for activities and learning and even lunch sometimes so it isnt so stressful dealing with all the kids at one time. I multitask and do something like turn the dryer on at the same time I am putting kids down for naps (dryer is off the nap room) or wipe down a bathroom fast while waiting for a little to go potty. I have already started on my monthly news letters for parents from Sept to Dec cause my summer is much more relaxed and I have the time here and there. I have my curriculum planned out and saved from last year and tweek as needed. I am already ahead so all I have to do is print and prepare and go. This year I am even saving a copy of all worksheets and things and putting them in envelopes for each month so next year I only have to pull each month. I admit. I am a go go goer (and maybe a little bit OCD) but it works for me. I am also ok with putting it all away and doing a lazy day cause things just aren't working. Doesn't mean I don't have a break down though. Or everything that possibly can happen does or I hate my job for the day or even the week!! I call my friend and go out for sundaes and we have a gripe session which helps.

I think the first step for you to do is step back and take a breath. (and maybe get an icecream sundae) And then rethink what you can do. Want to go back to school? Take a class here and there. Doesn't mean you have to work full time and go full time and be a mom full time. Maybe it means one class online. Maybe it means hiring an aide for a bit. Just rethink options.

[Laurel]

what is your program like? honestly, I would considering scaling back as much as possible both with the number of kids, the time you are preparing items, the actual items in the daycare (sell as much as you can). just keep a very minimal program based on play to really cut down on the constant planning. if you arent in the food program, dont provide meals at all. just have the parents do breakfast and dinner and send a sack lunch to daycare. things like that. you need to scale back as much as possible and get this beast under control. you sound a little type A, perhaps you are expecting way too much from yourself here?

i have 7 kids here total with my kids but i do not do any daycare stuff outside of daycare hours. i dont cook, kids are sent with food. i clean while they are playing. i dont offer preschool curriculum. i strictly supervise, keep kids safe, provide basic needs, thats it.

Laurel

[Laurel]

Go into what I call survival mode. Make things as simple as possible for as long as you need to. No one says the children need a gourmet meal every day. Peanut butter sandwiches, applesauce and milk is just fine. Art doesn't have to be painting or elaborate projects. Coloring books are a nice break and just paper and crayons. If you need a name for it call it "Back to Basics".

Is there a neighbor teen who you could hire part time? I used to have a 12 year old home schooled neighbor come in just 2 hours a day 2 or 3 days a week. She came at 10 and helped with crafts, outdoor play, and lunch. Having her for lunch was GREAT. She was 12 going on 20 so we even vented together. Consider raising rates slightly to afford her and you don't have to offer her that much. Of course she can't be alone with the children but she can be another set of hands.

Would it be easier to take different aged children? I remember I just used to take every family that called if I had an opening. I once had 5 in diapers and another one. Boy was THAT dumb, .

I'll probably get flamed but a 'little' t.v. won't kill the kids. We usually watch Netflix. Besides shows like Sesame Street there are educational shows like Planes, Trains and Automobiles or Nature shows.

When I am stressed I do activities that "I" like. I like to color so we sit down and color, I like to go for walks so we do that, I put on music I like, we sit on the floor with pillows, eat popcorn and watch a t.v. show. Things like that.....

You don't have to be perfect.

Hugs, Laurel

[Familycare71]

Go into what I call survival mode. Make things as simple as possible for as long as you need to. No one says the children need a gourmet meal every day. Peanut butter sandwiches, applesauce and milk is just fine. Art doesn't have to be painting or elaborate projects. Coloring books are a nice break and just paper and crayons. If you need a name for it call it "Back to Basics".

Is there a neighbor teen who you could hire part time? I used to have a 12 year old home schooled neighbor come in just 2 hours a day 2 or 3 days a week. She came at 10 and helped with crafts, outdoor play, and lunch. Having her for lunch was GREAT. She was 12 going on 20 so we even vented together. Consider raising rates slightly to afford her and you don't have to offer her that much. Of course she can't be alone with the children but she can be another set of hands.

Would it be easier to take different aged children? I remember I just used to take every family that called if I had an opening. I once had 5 in diapers and another one. Boy was THAT dumb, .

I'll probably get flamed but a 'little' t.v. won't kill the kids. We usually watch Netflix. Besides shows like Sesame Street there are educational shows like Planes, Trains and Automobiles or Nature shows.

When I am stressed I do activities that "I" like. I like to color so we sit down and color, I like to go for walks so we do that, I put on music I like, we sit on the floor with pillows, eat popcorn and watch a t.v. show. Things like that.....

You don't have to be perfect.

Hugs, Laurel

. Exactly this!!! Keep it simple . :hug: to you!! We have all been there!

[LK5kids]

Go into what I call survival mode. Make things as simple as possible for as long as you need to. No one says the children need a gourmet meal every day. Peanut butter sandwiches, applesauce and milk is just fine. Art doesn't have to be painting or elaborate projects. Coloring books are a nice break and just paper and crayons. If you need a name for it call it "Back to Basics".

Is there a neighbor teen who you could hire part time? I used to have a 12 year old home schooled neighbor come in just 2 hours a day 2 or 3 days a week. She came at 10 and helped with crafts, outdoor play, and lunch. Having her for lunch was GREAT. She was 12 going on 20 so we even vented together. Consider raising rates slightly to afford her and you don't have to offer her that much. Of course she can't be alone with the children but she can be another set of hands.

Would it be easier to take different aged children? I remember I just used to take every family that called if I had an opening. I once had 5 in diapers and another one. Boy was THAT dumb, .

I'll probably get flamed but a 'little' t.v. won't kill the kids. We usually watch Netflix. Besides shows like Sesame Street there are educational shows like Planes, Trains and Automobiles or Nature shows.

When I am stressed I do activities that "I" like. I like to color so we sit down and color, I like to go for walks so we do that, I put on music I like, we sit on the floor with pillows, eat popcorn and watch a t.v. show. Things like that.....

You don't have to be perfect.

Hugs, Laurel

Yes, we don't have to be perfect!happyfacehappyface

It is a fairly beautiful day....but we are not going out! I am tired of spraying sunscreen, bug spray, packing up the baby, taking the water toys out, filling the water table, dumping the water, putting the water toys in their basket, setting them inside the door, putting the hose away, taking kids wet shirts, shoes, shorts off, drying them on the fan etc, etc, etc, we could just go out and not use the water table, but I just do not have the energy to pack them up & go outside. If I did not have the baby today I would have them go out..but he's here

I choose NOT to squeeze my two and under kids into swimsuits. It works really well for
them to just have spare clothes to put on.

Right now they are happily playing with our strawberry playdoh that is left from strawberry week that was a month ago!

[Laurel]

Yes, we don't have to be perfect!happyfacehappyface

It is a fairly beautiful day....but we are not going out! I am tired of spraying sunscreen, bug spray, packing up the baby, taking the water toys out, filling the water table, dumping the water, putting the water toys in their basket, setting them inside the door, putting the hose away, taking kids wet shirts, shoes, shorts off, drying them on the fan etc, etc, etc, we could just go out and not use the water table, but I just do not have the energy to pack them up & go outside. If I did not have the baby today I would have them go out..but he's here

I choose NOT to squeeze my two and under kids into swimsuits. It works really well for
them to just have spare clothes to put on.

Right now they are happily playing with our strawberry playdoh that is left from strawberry week that was a month ago!

Oh tell me about it. ::

I used to take babies out and let them play in a molded plastic pool and I don't think there were Swimmie diapers back then (or I didn't know about them). That was a nightmare! I finally decided that if parents wanted their kiddies in a pool they could do it on weekends!

I think we do so much of this excess because WE want to or we want to impress the parents (who don't seem to care that much anyway or even know what we are doing). The children don't care. They are happy counting their toes. ::

Oh I remember the days when I would laminate (with contact paper no less in the olden days) little matching games, etc. What a time consuming waste of time. You can match anything you have two of. I used to do a lot of sorting activities until I discovered when they were putting away toys they were sorting the matchbox cars, blocks, and plastic animals to put them away anyway and were doing a wonderful job at 'sorting' naturally.

I don't do a curriculum at all yet all my children are more than ready for kindergarten, probably first grade when they leave. We just had a science 'lesson' today when we walked around the block and stooped down to observe ants on the sidewalk, checked out some leaves, saw some dark clouds and talked about how it might rain, and watched a squirrel leap from tree to tree.

Laurel

[harperluu]

Oh tell me about it. ::

I used to take babies out and let them play in a molded plastic pool and I don't think there were Swimmie diapers back then (or I didn't know about them). That was a nightmare! I finally decided that if parents wanted their kiddies in a pool they could do it on weekends!

I think we do so much of this excess because WE want to or we want to impress the parents (who don't seem to care that much anyway or even know what we are doing). The children don't care. They are happy counting their toes. ::

Oh I remember the days when I would laminate (with contact paper no less in the olden days) little matching games, etc. What a time consuming waste of time. You can match anything you have two of. I used to do a lot of sorting activities until I discovered when they were putting away toys they were sorting the matchbox cars, blocks, and plastic animals to put them away anyway and were doing a wonderful job at 'sorting' naturally.

I don't do a curriculum at all yet all my children are more than ready for kindergarten, probably first grade when they leave. We just had a science 'lesson' today when we walked around the block and stooped down to observe ants on the sidewalk, checked out some leaves, saw some dark clouds and talked about how it might rain, and watched a squirrel leap from tree to tree.

Laurel

BBM: I am totally onboard with this philosophy. Our daycare friends sort my socks. They love it! They helped me rearrange my living room and dust and choose new toys on toy swap day. We had a long engaging discussion about girls vs boys having muscles. Yes! My 2-4 year olds were excited to talk about gender equality. When I interview parents, I always tell them that we do preschool activities and focus on life skills. My program is not for parents that are hugely focused on academics (although of course the children in my care are receiving lots of academic enrichment), because it is harder to sell to those type of parents. Your child will be well cared for, can move about their day at their own pace, learns how to socialize with children in acceptable ways. There is value to learning about integrity, respect, and kindness.

I completely agree with all the posters that suggested scaling back. Put out fewer toys, do one or two "planned" activities a week. Clean while the kids are present (or hire a cleaning service once a month to do all the big jobs is what I do). I am running a child care in my home for a reason, so all the littles are receiving care in a home that's run like a home.