5yr old and Crying Lots of Crying

[Jack Sprat]

Dcb is 5 and has been coming since beginning of June. Yesterday and today he has cried off and on the 7 hrs he has been here. I mean sobbing, hiccups, tears rolling down the face. Yesterday was after mom left and I asked him to put his blanket in his cubbie. He cried for 15 minutes. I asked him what was wrong and he said he missed his mom. I reassured him mom would be here as soon as she was done with work which was always after snack. Then he cried again at lunch when he saw mandarin oranges as our fruit. Our rule is you can say that you not prefer not to eat ___. But, then you can also not have 2nds on other foods. He knows this and usually he states this. Not yesterday instead he began crying loudly. Went through the what is wrong yadda yadda. He tells me he hates those things and he is sad that it is what we are having for fruit. Sooo I send him to the l.r. (open to dining room) and tell him to calm down as best as he can and return to lunch when he feels better. He is gone for about 10 minutes. Then at nap time (which he hates, and which he usually just rests) he starts again. This time its because he hates nap and wants his grandma. We talked about why we rest, why his mother told him to sleep yesterday, and why we have no t.v. rule.

Today has been the same, I mean almost like a rinse and repeat of yesterday. I am going to talk to his mom and dad but, I am pretty sure this will fall on deaf ears.

On the bright side..all the other kiddos are having great days!

[BumbleBee]

If this is new - I'm wondering if he's sick/not feeling well OR there's been a big change in his life.

[Blackcat31]

Ugh, that is sooooo hard! Especially when the child is as old as he is.

At that age, he FULLY understands that his parent is returning to get him, that food isn't always going to be only what he wants and that we all have to do things we really don't want to do.

Honestly, it sounds as though he cries because it works for him. Perhaps at home any time he cries he gets his way?

I would also talk with mom and dad about it and then put it on them and ask them what EXACTLY they want you to do when he cries about something.

Tell them though that they CANNOT say, give him what he wants or let him stay up and not nap. He still has to follow ALL daycare rules.....

Make them give you a solution.

If this kid was only 2 or 3, I wouldn't say that but this kid is 5 years old. He is either in Kindy or going to Kindy and they have rules and mandarine oranges there too....

[nannyde]

I think you are escalating him with your responses even though they are sweet, nice, and make sense. I would stop that and just say “you cry" when he starts up. I would just acknowledge that he is crying and stay away from getting further involved.

Don't ask him why. Don't reassure him. Don't talk about Granny. Just look at him square in the eyes and let him know you know he is crying.

Once he gets that message then when you see him gearing up to cry you say “you cry?" With a question voice. Once he starts (and he will burst out in cry) again say “you cry"

Rinse and repeat.

Now if and when something cryable actually happens THEN you talk with him about it and console and reassure. Only when its real.

Now if he gets loud and tries to take over the airways then you say “you cry HERE" and have him go there to express his little feelings.

Kids should be allowed to express their little emotions without adult interference. He cries to get you to DO. He doesn't care what you say or how you try to help. He just wants to take you over. So small down the response and trust him that he needs to do his thing to right himself.

[daycare]

I think you are escalating him with your responses even though they are sweet, nice, and make sense. I would stop that and just say “you cry" when he starts up. I would just acknowledge that he is crying and stay away from getting further involved.

Don't ask him why. Don't reassure him. Don't talk about Granny. Just look at him square in the eyes and let him know you know he is crying.

Once he gets that message then when you see him gearing up to cry you say “you cry?" With a question voice. Once he starts (and he will burst out in cry) again say “you cry"

Rinse and repeat.

Now if and when something cryable actually happens THEN you talk with him about it and console and reassure. Only when its real.

Now if he gets loud and tries to take over the airways then you say “you cry HERE" and have him go there to express his little feelings.

Kids should be allowed to express their little emotions without adult interference. He cries to get you to DO. He doesn't care what you say or how you try to help. He just wants to take you over. So small down the response and trust him that he needs to do his thing to right himself.

I love the way that you explain this.....

I usually just try to acknowledge and recognize their emotion at that time.

DCB is crying because mom left, I say oh I am sorry you are sad and move on. I let them stay where they are to work it out. I don't pay any attention to it.

NOrmally what happens is that they stop crying and come find me. I will then give them all the love and hugs I can and then say go play.

If it's a pretty bad crying, I will say. Let's draw mommy a picture and let you know you miss her. I leave it at that......As soon as they calm down, they normally put everything away and run to the playroom on their own....

The less you give it attention, the less it will happen.....

I am assuming that this kid is going off to kinder??

[coolconfidentme]

I must be tougher than most. When a child cries I ask them where they are bleeding at, . When they say they want their mom I give them a big, "ME TOO!" That is followed by, "Go miss her in the nap room, we don't cry in here. Come out & play when you are done."

[EntropyControlSpecialist]

I must be tougher than most. When a child cries I ask them where they are bleeding at, . When they say they want their mom I give them a big, "ME TOO!" That is followed by, "Go miss her in the nap room, we don't cry in here. Come out & play when you are done."

I say that, too, and I mean it.

[Angelsj]

::
When they yell at me (over not getting their way), "I want my Mommy!!"
I just tell them, "I want your Mommy, too!!!"

[Jack Sprat]

:: I was laughing at the responses!!! Thank you guys for all the ideas!! I talked to dad about it and he said he has been awful to them at home. Honestly, that doesn't surprise me as they are very very over indulged and very bossy to his parents. I have seen that first hand. He dad also added he is a "*****". I do like the idea of sending to a separate room to cry. Its very disruptive to everyone else when he is carrying on. I also do agree its to see if he gets his way. Which he isn't. I do also wonder if part of it is starting KDG. We talked about KDG and what to expect. He has said he doesn't want to go and wants to stay here with us. He isn't here today. Wheew! !