Still Biting

[Cradle2crayons]

you are doing a great great job of trying to help... I love the advice you gave and I copied it to file for a later date should I ever need it....lets pray that I don't.

I think that some of us are trying to get her to see the overall picture and help from that aspect........ I know that this is NOT what the OP wanted to hear, but sometimes we need to hear it....

Trust me. BC is so real, she tells it like it is. She will tell me what I need to hear, not necessarily what I want to hear. Same with Crystal and Nan. But if they never did it that way, I may have not seen things from that angle....... that is what I love about this form. Everyone views things from different angles that I may have never thought about it that way before....

Honest engine......... having others tell me what I need to hear and not want I want to hear has saved my BUTT..........

Amen!! Advice isn't always what we want to hear.

And not many of us here just don't need the money, what little we do make. Me included. Terming is tough. And a last option for me. But there are a few reasons I would term, and only a few. First being non payment. Second being violence. And biting falls under that category.

When it comes to violence, I do everything in my power. I don't simply term.

Bt in a case like this, my family's monetary well being are not as important as my ability to provide that. And what I mean is a parent reporting me because their kid gets bit constantly or hurt in my home. And if a home provider gets shut down pending an investigation, how will they support their family?? If a parent sues and insurance drops us, then what. What if they drop my home owners too.

What if I'm found by licensing or the powers that be as neglectful because I didn't stop e victim from being hurt. What if ey revoke my license ??

What if a child in my care gets a serious infection or gets hospitalized. Then what.

All of the above things would greatly hinder my ability to provide for my family.

I know I'm listing all worse case scenario.

And also, I understand why terming is hard financially. We all understand.

What I'm saying is, what's work with at least heavily interviewing for the spot while still working with the biters family.

As far as options OP, I think you already know yu have tried all of the usual things. My only advice is to sit down with mom and make a plan. Have the mom talk to the pediatrician. They may have ideas we haven't thought of. There may be options that are more appropriate for mom to pull off than you are allowed to do.

For example, I have a friend who tried everything for her son to quit biting. Her pediatrician said to get some of that bad tasting thumb ****ing stuff and every time the child bit, to put some either on his paci and out it into his mouth or dab the applicator on his lips with a very very form NO NO NO BITING!! And after twice, the child never got again and he had been a long term biter and nothing had worked. That may not be something a group provider can do, but mom can do it if she wants to. It won't hurt him.

If mom hasn't tried biting back, maybe that's something to think about. Not that I'm condoning that. But sometimes desperate times call for desperate measures yanno??

[Blackcat31]

I have to say in OP situation with the way the parents are dealing now I would do the same she is... I do think (some)people jump to term quickly. And to PP who said it shouldn't be about the $. It is. It's a business. The bitee isn't being neglected. The situation is being dealt with the best it can. Seems like bitees mom knows this and is trusting her provider- which says a ton.
No one has threatened or mentioned pulling their kid- if that happens I'm sure OP will make a choice.
She is asking HOW you deal with a biter that terming isn't an option. Nan you said you got "schooled" and haven't had biters again... What do you do to prevent it?
She NEEDS the income- not for her dinners out... To keep food on the table and a roof over her families head!
:hug: I have been there and hope it improves soon for you! I would give advice but haven't dealt w a biter in 20 yrs *knocks on wood!

I was the PP who said it wasn't about money....which isn't what I said....what I said/meant was that whether you have to term an aggressive/violent/badly behaving child or not should never be about the money. Especially IF it involves the overall safety of ALL the children.

As a provider, I AM in the business to make money but NOT at the expense of harm to others.

I don't care who says it's alright, acceptable, understandable, normal, part of the job, something I am working on, figuring out, dealing with, managing or whatever.... It is simply NOT ok for it to happen on a continual basis.

THAT is a providers first priority. Safety of the kids in care.

The money aspect comes AFTER that.

If you put the money aspect before the safety aspect, you will end up losing MORE money in the end....and possibly more.

[Familycare71]

I was the PP who said it wasn't about money....which isn't what I said....what I said/meant was that whether you have to term an aggressive/violent/badly behaving child or not should never be about the money. Especially IF it involves the overall safety of ALL the children.

As a provider, I AM in the business to make money but NOT at the expense of harm to others.

I don't care who says it's alright, acceptable, understandable, normal, part of the job, something I am working on, figuring out, dealing with, managing or whatever.... It is simply NOT ok for it to happen on a continual basis.

THAT is a providers first priority. Safety of the kids in care.

The money aspect comes AFTER that.

If you put the money aspect before the safety aspect, you will end up losing MORE money in the end....and possibly more.

Yes - I agree with that 100%.
I do understand where everyone is coming from as far as suggesting to term... I just feel for the OP because it sounds like life is hard and she is trying. I do agree one of the reasons this forum is great is because we do hear what we NEED to hear even if it isn't what we WANT to hear.
Someone suggested heavily interviewing for the biters spot- that is a good first step while maybe doing a behavior plan. That way if after a certain period you term. Mom knows it, bitee mom knows it and the provider can prove she is being pro active if it becomes an issue.
Biting is dangerous- anything that can require shots and antibiotics is...

[Blackcat31]

Yes - I agree with that 100%.
I do understand where everyone is coming from as far as suggesting to term... I just feel for the OP because it sounds like life is hard and she is trying. I do agree one of the reasons this forum is great is because we do hear what we NEED to hear even if it isn't what we WANT to hear.
Someone suggested heavily interviewing for the biters spot- that is a good first step while maybe doing a behavior plan. That way if after a certain period you term. Mom knows it, bitee mom knows it and the provider can prove she is being pro active if it becomes an issue.
Biting is dangerous- anything that can require shots and antibiotics is...