Violent Child :(

[Memc2001]

I have watched a boy (8) for 3 years now. He has had anger issues but in recent year have subsided and he has been an excellent kid to have around.

Today, he punched a girl who is a year younger than he unprovoked. At a loss, I had to discharge him from my care. I feel like a failure but know I cannot protect the other children from him if it was unprovoked. Very sad situation. Would you have done the same?

[Blackcat31]

Absolutely!! Do not feel bad. You did the right thing.

Your job is to keep ALL children safe.

I know it is hard to not be sympathetic and understanding about a kid you have had for years in care......you get to know them and how they tick but sometimes you just can't "fix" everything.

You did good while you had him.

He choose to hit. At 8, he KNOWS better.

He got booted from care. BEST thing that could ever have happened to him and to his parents....NOT everyone is understanding and sympathetic about violence and the earlier he (and his parents) learn that hitting is not okay, the better.

Hopefully they get him some help now so that he isn't punching people later on in life when the consequence isn't being kicked out of daycare but booked into jail...kwim?

I know you feel bad but you still did the right thing. :hug:

[Memc2001]

Thank you

I am new here but felt I had no where else to turn and seek advice. I contacted my State case worker right away and made her aware. She said what I was doing was correct. I just have no one else in the industry to talk to.

Feeling much better about my decision. This is not the first time he has had violent outbursts but hoped he had matured enough to know better. His twin 5 year old brothers have been in my care for 3 years as well.

Him fighting with or striking his brothers are not good but once he crossed the line to others and unprovoked as well, I felt that was it. The mother was visibly upset by the whole matter when she came and got him.

If I looked the other way and it happened again in the future, which it would, I would get sued or worse a child would be hurt. I also have a "no tolerance" policy in my parent policy regarding this behavior.

[Blackcat31]

I am new here but felt I had no where else to turn and seek advice. I contacted my State case worker right away and made her aware. She said what I was doing was correct. I just have no one else in the industry to talk to.

Feeling much better about my decision. This is not the first time he has had violent outbursts but hoped he had matured enough to know better. His twin 5 year old brothers have been in my care for 3 years as well.

Him fighting with or striking his brothers are not good but once he crossed the line to others and unprovoked as well, I felt that was it. The mother was visibly upset by the whole matter when she came and got him.

If I looked the other way and it happened again in the future, which it would, I would get sued or worse a child would be hurt. I also have a "no tolerance" policy in my parent policy regarding this behavior.

Your line of thinking was spot on. It COULD be much worse later on....

Glad you found us...please consider registering....we are a super friendly, VERY supportive group that is full of new ideas and solutions!

We are each other's co-workers and "friends" as this profession can be very isolating at times.

We have other areas of the forum that are only visible to members so register and start making some friends! You are NOT alone in this!

[Familycare71]

Your line of thinking was spot on. It COULD be much worse later on....

Glad you found us...please consider registering....we are a super friendly, VERY supportive group that is full of new ideas and solutions!

We are each other's co-workers and "friends" as this profession can be very isolating at times.

We have other areas of the forum that are only visible to members so register and start making some friends! You are NOT alone in this!

I agree with blackcat!! Great choice!
I also agree this forum is a lifesaver . I am fairly new and I have learned so much already!! It is also wonderful to see others have the same day to day struggles and just support each other through it! I have gotten much stronger in running my business since joining! We really are co-workers, support, advisers and friends!
Welcome

[e.j.]

Today, he punched a girl who is a year younger than he unprovoked. At a loss, I had to discharge him from my care. I feel like a failure but know I cannot protect the other children from him if it was unprovoked. Very sad situation. Would you have done the same?

I don't term kids easily but I would have done the same under the circumstances you described. At 8 he's old enough to know better and probably big enough to inflict a fair amount of damage on the younger kids. I hope the girl he punched is okay.

It's a shame the family lost you as his care provider but I think you made the right decision. If he punched her and she wasn't even provoking him, imagine what he might do to a little one who was annoying him!

[EntropyControlSpecialist]

Oh dear. I would have done the same thing. :hug:

[Memc2001]

I don't term kids easily but I would have done the same under the circumstances you described. At 8 he's old enough to know better and probably big enough to inflict a fair amount of damage on the younger kids. I hope the girl he punched is okay.

It's a shame the family lost you as his care provider but I think you made the right decision. If he punched her and she wasn't even provoking him, imagine what he might do to a little one who was annoying him!

This is the first time I have had to terminate for violence. He is a larger child and punched her very hard leaving her neck very red, nearly bruised. He also started screaming and yelling afterward. He obviously needs help with his issues and I am not sure the parents will do anything. I called her parents and they where fine and we have all been together for years. I am still in care for the twins. Hopefully they won't remove them. It's a terrible circumstance that after being so good for so long that this one incident takes it all away.

[Blackcat31]

Welcome to the forum! I am glad you registered! happyface

Jump in and join any conversations/topics you like, we area friendly bunch!

[mema]

:hug:
Definitely the right choice. Not always easy, but right.

[Crystal]

Oh, wow, YES, you did the right thing. He is WAY to old for that type of behavior and I suggest Mom get him into anger management therapy NOW!!!!

WELCOME to the forum, you're gonna love it here! :hug: