How To Tell A Parent Their Child May Have A Developmental Delay...

[yvette8289]

I own a different type of company than a day care... but hoe to one day have the funds to start a true day care... instead i go into several families homes to help with everything imaginable and have about 30 active clients.

ive had this one family in question for over 3yrs and spend a lot of time with their kids.

both kids have issues cause by the mothers lack of parenting... but im most concerned about their youngest, a 4.5yr old boy whom i strongly feel has a learning disability. she has decided to put off kindergarten and thinks that the day care centers as a whole expect the kids to know too much. he goes to a decent day care school and they do not expect too much at all! and his sister did fine there.

here are his issues...
his speech is unclear and even his parents cant understand him at times.
he does not form proper or complete sentences and cant hold a conversation.
he does not know:
-colors
-shapes
-recognize letters
-count in order to 10
-has trouble understanding the concept of tracing shapes and letters but does ok work once he gets the hang of it (has to be re-explained every time i come over to work with him)
-incorrectly uses words that refer to someone (he, she, him, her, etc)
-is inconsistent with which hand is dominant
-can not follow one step commands (not at all as a form of acting out... he wants to do whats asked but seems to be unable to comprehend whats being asked of him)
-does not understand the difference between letter and numbers or colors and shapes or the concepts of those topics

the list could go on forever!

he hates school because he has no friends and cant follow what goes on.

ive hinted towards him being delayed in the past but his mother is the type who walks around in denial with her head stuck in the sand and she can be overly sensitive with this sort of thing... she seems convinced that he must just be color blind and thats why he doesnt know his colors but i feel he sees colors find but has a very hard time storing, recalling, and comprehending the information.






anyone have any advice for me? i really believe he needs evaluated and im leaning towards auditory/central processing disorder but im no expert! how do i explain to her my concerns and allow her to see what i do when i look at milestone checklists for 3 yr olds and realize how far he really is from where he should be?

please help! love this boy like he was my own and worry about where hell be if he continues to go without the help he needs!

TIA!

[bunnyslippers]

I would suggest reviewing a developmental checklist with the mom, and see if she is aware of his developmental gaps. She should have him evaluated by the school system - he would probably qualify for services, based on what you have reported.

It may be helpful to take some data when you are working with the child, so you have more than just opinions when you are discussing the issues with the mother.

[blandino]

Exactly what bunnyslippers said.

There is a program called "learn the signs - act early" and they will provide you with all sorts of publications to share with parents as well as ways to approach the matter with them. Some of my best tips are from their website.

[yvette8289]

thanks for the advice! ive been keeping track of his progress... or lack thereof... and when she mentions the colors i try to insert a few nudges.... she's very nice but also the very independent type personality that isn't easily approachable with things pertaining to her children...

i will definitely check out the materials of that program! i wish one of his day care teachers would say something to her... for all i know they have and she chose to act like they didn't to avoid it... i have seen the cumulative review sheets they use to quiz what the kids remember learning... he never gets any correct and they send it hope with a note on it about working with him more but she just trashes them and never says a word.

hard part about the school helping is he isn't in public school yet... her older child did pre k and k at goddard and he is there now as well for pre k.... i hope these teachers are as concerned as i am bc i know if i bring it up and they don't say anything to her then she wont take it to heart... when i worked in a day care school we were actually told we weren't allowed to say anything regarding these types of concerns... don't know if thats a ga regulation or if it was just the schools i worked for... but if goddard has the same rule then it wont be till he's nearly 7yrs old before he's in public school where someone will back me on this.

its about time for me to do another eval... i've had more time with him lately than normal and hes had some better days... she said to me today that shes worried tht when he goes to public school kids will make fun of his skin tag in front of his ear... after the moment passed i was kicking myself bc i felt like instead of consoling her maybe i should've said that id be more worried about his speech problems and social skills...



anyone have a 'what a 4yr old should know before age 5' type evaluation form? not a huge fan of the ones ive found thus far and a lot of them seem very different from each other... i want a well known one that i could present to her.

[Familycare71]

When I have had a parent resistant to hearing about possible delays I provide a list of things I would like them to discuss with the pediatric Dr. That has worked well for me. I focus on 3-5 of my main concerns.
Based on the speech alone he would qualify for early intervention.
The school has to provide early intervention to children 3-school age. They will provide, free of charge, an evaluation. They they will provide services if it is deemed he needs them- they would need to call their district office to find out who the first contact is.
Good luck!! This is one area I find to be most frustrating in this business! And I seem to attract the little ones with undiagnosed delays-