Should I Be Offended Or Upset??

[daycare]

Last week I got an email saying a family wanted to term care because they want their child to be around children their own age (we have 4 here the same age). They were putting the child in a new school.

They did tell me that they had not decided on what to do, mum and dad still had to think about it, so they would get back to me at the end of the day on Friday. Well I never hear back. I send an email Friday night, still nothing...

This morning, the DCM tells me well my child says that they don't have any friends here and I just feel really bad for them, so this is why. OK......I look at mom and laugh. I said are you kidding me. If I had a video of your child playing throughout the day, you would see that is a bunch of silliness.

She then says well I just don't know what to do.......

I know as a mother myself that it would kill me if my son came home and was saying I don't have any friends at school, but this is just not true.....

Yes, the child is MUCH different than the others, very very bossy at times, but he plays all day with the kids and most of the time very well.

It seems like the mom doubts me and now I am in a place where I am wondering if I should just try to advertise and fill his spot???? BTW the family has two kids here, but was only going to move this one......

[SilverSabre25]

First and foremost, I would get a quiet moment with the child and say calmly, "hey, a little birdie told me that you feel like you don't have any friends here! what can you tell me about that?"

And depending on his answers, your response will probably include some form of, "You know, I see you playing really nicely all day long with [name the kids he plays with]! They are your friends! You get along so well! It's just silly to say you don't have any friends!"

[Binkybobo]

If they are keeping one child in your care I don't think it is anything personal. Of course it is always a blow when someone leaves. I have felt insulted when a child moved states. I was like,"What you're leaving the state because of me?"

[daycare]

I guess I feel upset a little, because I feel like the mom does not believe me. I must also say that this is not the first time that the family has done this......

I should have mentioned that.......

[spud912]

I would do exactly what you mentioned.....record the boy playing nicely with the others (like with your phone) and then send it to the mom (or show it to her). I would probably also mention something along the lines of "You know, dcm, sometimes children have good days and sometimes they have not so good days where they feel they were left out. As long as the child normally plays well, I feel it's important to have the child work out these issues on their own so they have the coping skills for more challenging problems later in life."

[itlw8]

sounds like his friends are getting older and sticking up for themselves. Being a friend is doing what they want sometimes also. Sounds like Mr bossy pants just realized the world does not revolve around him at your place anymore.

Tell dcm you will listen in on their conversations to see what is being said. And then take some pictures of them playing. if possible go ahead and shoot some video then she can also hear how he plays.

[daycare]

I take tons of pics daily and upload to our site EVERY DAY....I also send pics to their phones off and on..

I do think it is what you are saying.....Mr. Sassy pants wants to run the show here with all of the kids and they are not having it. The other day I heard him tell another child well if you don't play with me in the legos, I am going to make sure you don't have anymore fun today..........Oh boy did we have talk.....

I am just tired of the oh we are going to end care, oh wait no we are not, oh wait yes we are....... I provide great loving care for this child day in and out. The parents know this, but yet when little billy goes home to cry wolf, I have to deal with the drama...

[spud912]

I take tons of pics daily and upload to our site EVERY DAY....I also send pics to their phones off and on..

I do think it is what you are saying.....Mr. Sassy pants wants to run the show here with all of the kids and they are not having it. The other day I heard him tell another child well if you don't play with me in the legos, I am going to make sure you don't have anymore fun today..........Oh boy did we have talk.....

I am just tired of the oh we are going to end care, oh wait no we are not, oh wait yes we are....... I provide great loving care for this child day in and out. The parents know this, but yet when little billy goes home to cry wolf, I have to deal with the drama...

It sounds like little Billy runs the show at home....one episode of whining and they want to put him somewhere "better?" They can treat him that way all they want, but ONE day, they won't be there to whine to and he will have to learn how to deal with not getting his way.....and it's not going to be pretty!

[Crystal]

I take tons of pics daily and upload to our site EVERY DAY....I also send pics to their phones off and on..

I do think it is what you are saying.....Mr. Sassy pants wants to run the show here with all of the kids and they are not having it. The other day I heard him tell another child well if you don't play with me in the legos, I am going to make sure you don't have anymore fun today..........Oh boy did we have talk.....

I am just tired of the oh we are going to end care, oh wait no we are not, oh wait yes we are....... I provide great loving care for this child day in and out. The parents know this, but yet when little billy goes home to cry wolf, I have to deal with the drama...

Make the decision for them. The next time they threaten with pulling him out, simply reply " I am unable to continue with these vague threats hanging over my head. I am accepting this as your FINAL two weeks notice and expect junior's last day will be__________" When they start hemming and hawing, begging for their child to stay, firmly state to them " I am willing to give one more chance. However, if I receive one more threat that you will be removing him, your services will be terminated IMMEDIATELY."

QUIT letting all of these parents walk all over you. You are stronger than that and deserve better than that. The more you allow it, the more it will happen. Put your foot down. NOW!!!!

:hug:

[daycare]

Make the decision for them. The next time they threaten with pulling him out, simply reply " I am unable to continue with these vague threats hanging over my head. I am accepting this as your FINAL two weeks notice and expect junior's last day will be__________" When they start hemming and hawing, begging for their child to stay, firmly state to them " I am willing to give one more chance. However, if I receive one more threat that you will be removing him, your services will be terminated IMMEDIATELY."

QUIT letting all of these parents walk all over you. You are stronger than that and deserve better than that. The more you allow it, the more it will happen. Put your foot down. NOW!!!!

:hug:

Thanks Crystal....Yes you are right,....... I am a huge softie. I try really hard to be firm. I do. I have a very soft voice by nature, so it's often hard for me to sound firm even when I am trying. It frustrates me much that I have been standing my ground and feel like I am making progress only to be hit by their waves again. It's like the oceans tide....

I think that I will email the family and let them know that was their last attempt to leave, next time they say that they are leaving, it is the final good-bye......

I should have been named MATT.....floor Matt.....Gosh I wish I could make a good joke...is it floor mat or door mat??? .....aaahhh never mind.....

[Cradle2crayons]

Thanks Crystal....Yes you are right,....... I am a huge softie. I try really hard to be firm. I do. I have a very soft voice by nature, so it's often hard for me to sound firm even when I am trying. It frustrates me much that I have been standing my ground and feel like I am making progress only to be hit by their waves again. It's like the oceans tide....

I think that I will email the family and let them know that was their last attempt to leave, next time they say that they are leaving, it is the final good-bye......

I should have been named MATT.....floor Matt.....Gosh I wish I could make a good joke...is it floor mat or door mat??? .....aaahhh never mind.....

It's DOOR MAT for future reference

[daycare]

It's DOOR MAT for future reference

.....thanks just trying to keep on smiling.... I hate it when things get tough like this...... I still have not found the words to put together to tell the DCM that I need for this to stop once and for all.....I am sure once I sleep on it, I will find the right words.........

Thanks door mat.....

[Familycare71]

All good advise- def time to put your foot down! You'll feel so much better once you do!
You've for this!! :hug: