Another WWYD

[BumbleBee]

I have 3 hula hoops outside. 4.5 yo dcg bent one of them into an oval w/2 pointy ends. 2 other kids were playing with the other hula hoops. 4.5 yo dcg didn't want the one she bent bc it "didn't work." She wanted one of tthe non-bent ones. I told her if she wanted to play w/the hula hoop, she could play with the one she bent. It wasn't fair to the other 2 kids to have to play w/ bent hula hoop when they didn't bend it.

Mom p/u, dcg whined to mom, I explained what happened, and now mom is upset.

4.5 yo is plenty old enough to have natural consequences. I would've done the same w/my 3 yo.

Would you do the same? Or how would you do differently?

[Cat Herder]

Mom is upset how? Upset with you or DCG?

[kathiemarie]

I have done the same thing. I don't get to upset if a parent gets mad at me for minor things. Sometimes parents have to grow up as much as their kids do! ::

[BumbleBee]

Sorry - mom is upset w/me. She feels that her dd did it "by accident" and shouldn't be punished for an accident. I feel that it was not an accident.

[Cat Herder]

Sorry - mom is upset w/me. She feels that her dd did it "by accident" and shouldn't be punished for an accident. I feel that it was not an accident.

Understood.

I do the same thing you did as long as it was clearly purposeful and being destructive is a repetitive problem with that particular child. Hopefully, Mom was just having a bad afternoon and this will simply blow over.

I take it one step further, though, and have the parent replace it after the 3rd occassion. (never charge full price if it is over $20, your point will get lost in that case, IMPE.)

I really have not had to request a parent replace something from our playroom more than once. It seems to make the point to the parent and in response they strongly enforced it at home. happyface

If Mom continues being upset you can turn it around and flat out ask her if she is challenging your judgement. Tell her that if she does not trust your ability to tell an accident from a purposeful act than, perhaps, you are not the provider for her.

[spud912]

I would have done the same.....OR I would probably have not allowed her to play with one at all. OR if I was really upset I would have had mom replace the hula hoop she broke!

[williams2008]

I would have done the same.....OR I would probably have not allowed her to play with one at all. OR if I was really upset I would have had mom replace the hula hoop she broke!

[itlw8]

If you said never could she play with one then you would be wrong but if you said no you just broke it on purpose you may not play with one today then you are right

But it sounds like she wanted theirs right then so even if hers was not broken I would not give her one because she needed to wait her turn.

[Familycare71]

I would have done exactly the same thing... And depending on how the parent is in general ( was her questioning you new or does it happen often) I would speak to the parent privately about supporting you in front of dcg. The appropriate way for her to handle it, if she had an issue, was speak to you w o dcg there.

[countrymom]

this drives me crazy. Child brakes a toy then wants the other kids toys that aren't broken. What you did was good.

[TheGoodLife]

Yes, I completely agree with you. Even if it WAS as accident, why should she be able to take one for the other kids anyway? Natural consequences are the best, especially when kids get a little older, and I'd have explained it to mom!

[Unregistered]

I have 3 hula hoops outside. 4.5 yo dcg bent one of them into an oval w/2 pointy ends. 2 other kids were playing with the other hula hoops. 4.5 yo dcg didn't want the one she bent bc it "didn't work." She wanted one of tthe non-bent ones. I told her if she wanted to play w/the hula hoop, she could play with the one she bent. It wasn't fair to the other 2 kids to have to play w/ bent hula hoop when they didn't bend it.

Mom p/u, dcg whined to mom, I explained what happened, and now mom is upset.

4.5 yo is plenty old enough to have natural consequences. I would've done the same w/my 3 yo.

Would you do the same? Or how would you do differently?

Mom is mad at YOU? Mom SHOULD apologize and replace the hula hoop. End. Of. Story.

[daycarediva]

I would have done the same.....OR I would probably have not allowed her to play with one at all. OR if I was really upset I would have had mom replace the hula hoop she broke!

She would not have been able to play with it if she intentionally broke it. Mom would have been telling me how unfair it was and then she would have heard "Oh that's wonderful you feel that way! So do I! I'm sure dcg will enjoy picking out a new hula hoop to replace the one that she broke so that nobody has to play with the bent one, and I would appreciate you talking to her about playing nicely with things, these accidents are going to get expensive for you!"