Bad Start with New Clients

[spud912]

hmm I'm not sure about this one, because why would the godmother come and make that comment about pulling the kid out. I'm wondering if godmother wants to watch the child.

I'm sure she would like to, but while she was here she was telling me about her money problems and how a local dealership is "creating" a position just for her (therefore she will no longer be available).

[countrymom]

I think the whole situation is wierd, so I would keep the ad up and do other interviews.

[EchoMom]

May I ask, why do you do so many meetings for one family??? It seems you are forfeiting an overwhelming amount of personal time unnecessarily. I do one meeting per family and that is it. The child must be present, and I email them contract/policies beforehand so we can briefly discuss them at the interview. It makes me sad thinking about how much time investment you've put into a potential family and then sometimes they don't work out.

As far as the family... I think you should wait for a better fit. You've given numerous red flags that give you concern. I think you should listen to that feeling and wait for one that's better, more relaxed.

[spud912]

May I ask, why do you do so many meetings for one family??? It seems you are forfeiting an overwhelming amount of personal time unnecessarily. I do one meeting per family and that is it. The child must be present, and I email them contract/policies beforehand so we can briefly discuss them at the interview. It makes me sad thinking about how much time investment you've put into a potential family and then sometimes they don't work out.

As far as the family... I think you should wait for a better fit. You've given numerous red flags that give you concern. I think you should listen to that feeling and wait for one that's better, more relaxed.

I don't normally see a family so much before child care starts.....but the family did not bring their daughter on the first interview so we had to schedule a second. Then the mom insisted that the godmother come the next day with their daughter so she can become better acclimated (although I think they just wanted the godmother to be more comfortable with their decision as well ). I always schedule a separate time to go over and review the contract in more depth. I know it has eliminated many problems in the past by letting the parents know what I expect . So basically they got twice as much time here than your typical parents.

The mom is coming tonight to review the contract and sign. I will be giving them a two week trial period .... if it works and they are fine, then great! If not, then I will move on to someone else

[MarinaVanessa]

May I ask, why do you do so many meetings for one family??? It seems you are forfeiting an overwhelming amount of personal time unnecessarily. I do one meeting per family and that is it. The child must be present, and I email them contract/policies beforehand so we can briefly discuss them at the interview. It makes me sad thinking about how much time investment you've put into a potential family and then sometimes they don't work out.

As far as the family... I think you should wait for a better fit. You've given numerous red flags that give you concern. I think you should listen to that feeling and wait for one that's better, more relaxed.

I know that this question was directed at Spud and that she already answered but it sounded like you were curious as to why someone would have multiple meetings with a potential family so I thought I'd chime in because I'm "one of those" .

I do multiple visits but that's so that I have a better picture of the family dynamics.

The initial phone call is to discuss specifics such as the child's daycare schedule, age, my rate and details about payments etc. This is so that I don't waste their time or they mine and so we are sure that I have space for them and that are comfortable with what I charge.

The first meeting is an interview after hours so that I can focus on the family and their questions. I ask that mom, dad and the child come as well as anyone that will be a regular face (like someone that will pick the child up on a regular basis). You don't know how easily one person a family is close to can damage a client/provider relationship simply because they don't like me, my program or my philosophy so I ask that they come too (grandma, grandpa, mom's best friend, adult siblings etc). This is when I give them the tour and go over my policies. I also keep an eye on how the family interacts with each other, how the parents talk to each other, how they talk to their child etc. This usually gives me a lot of insight on their parenting style and family dynamic (is one parent mild and one strong, do they let their child do whatever, do they correct inappropriate behavior, how do they correct it etc).

If that goes well I schedule a 30 minute "playdate" where one parents and the child comes and stays. I like to let the parent see how I run things and how I handle the daycare kids. I want to know up front whether or not they like how I do things. I also want to see how the parent acts while their child interacts with the other children. And of course I want to see how the child acts towards the other children.

In some cases (usually a first time parent) they want to "try it out first" so that their child can get used to me, the daycare children and the new environment but for that I don't allow the parent to stay and we will do a drop-in for a couple of hours. If that's what it takes to ease a parent's mind then I don't mind.

I suppose for me it's important that I have a good relationship with my families so our parenting styles and techniques for handling children must be similar. I want families to feel comfortable here and I want to have a close good-standing relationship with my families on top of a good business relationship. I'm not talking about being friends here, it's more like I feel that parents that feel better about leaving their children at daycare are better as clients in general. Anyone that has reservations about it or doesn't particularly agree about the way something is done will be on guard and can potentially add stress to the client/provider relationship KWIM? Likewise if I don't like the parents, their parenting style or their child's behavior then I can end up with undue stress. Having two face-to-face meetings minimum helps me weed out clients that I don't feel will mesh with me early on.

For me, I'd rather put in a little more effort in at the beginning and say no to a family or have them say no than end up with a family that strains our client/provider relationship later on. I feel that it saves me more time and stress in the end.

[My3cents]

In the words of the very wise provider.... RUN!!!!

Seriously though- no matter how hard up you are for money (if you are) it is NOT worth getting a child and family that are not a good fit. It will stress you out, keep you from focusing on the other children in care, and may even keep you from getting other, better fitting clients. Believe me, I know from experience!

grapes nailed it......this all the way

[My3cents]

Hey, I know you've been doing this a long time too and ya know, sometimes things start rocky and end up great and other times they start out perfect and end the opposite so like I said before, the 2 week trial period is a great policy to have.

Plus, I'd rather say I tried and it didn't work out than to not try at all and simply pass because then you will never know what could have been.

Atleast with a trial period, if it doesn't work out well...you know.

I take back my run comments.....

really you should give it a trial but feeling the way that you do if it is not working during those two weeks be ready to let it go and not hang on for whatever reason. Everyone does deserve a chance. Good luck- Some of my best clients have been those that I thought would never work out.

[spud912]

I know that this question was directed at Spud and that she already answered but it sounded like you were curious as to why someone would have multiple meetings with a potential family so I thought I'd chime in because I'm "one of those" .

I do multiple visits but that's so that I have a better picture of the family dynamics.

The initial phone call is to discuss specifics such as the child's daycare schedule, age, my rate and details about payments etc. This is so that I don't waste their time or they mine and so we are sure that I have space for them and that are comfortable with what I charge.

The first meeting is an interview after hours so that I can focus on the family and their questions. I ask that mom, dad and the child come as well as anyone that will be a regular face (like someone that will pick the child up on a regular basis). You don't know how easily one person a family is close to can damage a client/provider relationship simply because they don't like me, my program or my philosophy so I ask that they come too (grandma, grandpa, mom's best friend, adult siblings etc). This is when I give them the tour and go over my policies. I also keep an eye on how the family interacts with each other, how the parents talk to each other, how they talk to their child etc. This usually gives me a lot of insight on their parenting style and family dynamic (is one parent mild and one strong, do they let their child do whatever, do they correct inappropriate behavior, how do they correct it etc).

If that goes well I schedule a 30 minute "playdate" where one parents and the child comes and stays. I like to let the parent see how I run things and how I handle the daycare kids. I want to know up front whether or not they like how I do things. I also want to see how the parent acts while their child interacts with the other children. And of course I want to see how the child acts towards the other children.

In some cases (usually a first time parent) they want to "try it out first" so that their child can get used to me, the daycare children and the new environment but for that I don't allow the parent to stay and we will do a drop-in for a couple of hours. If that's what it takes to ease a parent's mind then I don't mind.

I suppose for me it's important that I have a good relationship with my families so our parenting styles and techniques for handling children must be similar. I want families to feel comfortable here and I want to have a close good-standing relationship with my families on top of a good business relationship. I'm not talking about being friends here, it's more like I feel that parents that feel better about leaving their children at daycare are better as clients in general. Anyone that has reservations about it or doesn't particularly agree about the way something is done will be on guard and can potentially add stress to the client/provider relationship KWIM? Likewise if I don't like the parents, their parenting style or their child's behavior then I can end up with undue stress. Having two face-to-face meetings minimum helps me weed out clients that I don't feel will mesh with me early on.

For me, I'd rather put in a little more effort in at the beginning and say no to a family or have them say no than end up with a family that strains our client/provider relationship later on. I feel that it saves me more time and stress in the end.

I agree . I do have to say.....I would have seen none of the red flags had I not met with the parents more than once. I don't mind 1-2 interviews and a contract appointment. Anything beyond 3 visits is a bit much IMO.

[EntropyControlSpecialist]

Whatever ended up happening?

[FCCarmyprovider]

RUN!

[spud912]

Whatever ended up happening?

I posted an update shortly thereafter: https://www.daycare.com/forum/showth...ghlight=update

We were not a good fit for each other .