My Extreme Crier

[Brooksie]

Was just looking for some advice on how to approach my dcb (13 mo). I've posted about him multiple times. He is VERY codependent. If he is not being held or was put down for me to tend to another child he LOSES it. He loses it if he is corrected and he loses it if someone else is in my lap. There are parts of the days where he is ok but when he is having an episode it can last upto 45-1 hour. He would be totally fine if I could hold him all day and will stop crying immediately if I pick him up. This is not possible, obviously. I have other need to attend to and I honestly don't have the desire to carry him around all day. He's a big boy for his age. I'm starting to get concerned about his emotional state. The way he cries is to the EXTREME. He immediately starts SCREAMING, crying, bright red in the face, hyperventilating, drooling, shaking, falling over himself to get to me or trying to climb up my legs and even hanging on my when I'm trying to walk. He screams so loud the other kids cover their ears and we can't hear each other talking.

I do not want to term this child. If term was NOT an option how would you help him? He doesn't respond much to being talked to and reassured because of how quickly he loses it. Does any one recommend letting him go? Like letting him cry it out. He started doing this after nap and immediately lost it and I got him up and changed and when DD woke up I had to put him down to get her and that was it. After that I had to change her, change dcb's older sister and get snack out and he was going nuclear. Through the whole time I would stop and give him his blanket (trying to get him to attach to something for self soothing) and his bink and I would rub his back and tell him he was ok. I went about doing what I needed to. It was so loud, so stressful for everyone but I have a small group today so it wasn't THAT bad. It took him 45 minutes to calm down and he is now playing with a shape sorting toy behind me on the floor quietly.

So what would you guys recommend? I may also mention that my dd is now not here bc her dad picked her up 10 min ago so now its just this boy and his sister. Idk if that has any thing to do with it. But I normally have a another dcb (14mo) and will be starting another 2 year old girl at the end of the week. I need to get this boy under control. Is letting him cry it out what needs to happen?

[EntropyControlSpecialist]

Was just looking for some advice on how to approach my dcb (13 mo). I've posted about him multiple times. He is VERY codependent. If he is not being held or was put down for me to tend to another child he LOSES it. He loses it if he is corrected and he loses it if someone else is in my lap. There are parts of the days where he is ok but when he is having an episode it can last upto 45-1 hour. He would be totally fine if I could hold him all day and will stop crying immediately if I pick him up. This is not possible, obviously. I have other need to attend to and I honestly don't have the desire to carry him around all day. He's a big boy for his age. I'm starting to get concerned about his emotional state. The way he cries is to the EXTREME. He immediately starts SCREAMING, crying, bright red in the face, hyperventilating, drooling, shaking, falling over himself to get to me or trying to climb up my legs and even hanging on my when I'm trying to walk. He screams so loud the other kids cover their ears and we can't hear each other talking.

I do not want to term this child. If term was NOT an option how would you help him? He doesn't respond much to being talked to and reassured because of how quickly he loses it. Does any one recommend letting him go? Like letting him cry it out. He started doing this after nap and immediately lost it and I got him up and changed and when DD woke up I had to put him down to get her and that was it. After that I had to change her, change dcb's older sister and get snack out and he was going nuclear. Through the whole time I would stop and give him his blanket (trying to get him to attach to something for self soothing) and his bink and I would rub his back and tell him he was ok. I went about doing what I needed to. It was so loud, so stressful for everyone but I have a small group today so it wasn't THAT bad. It took him 45 minutes to calm down and he is now playing with a shape sorting toy behind me on the floor quietly.

So what would you guys recommend? I may also mention that my dd is now not here bc her dad picked her up 10 min ago so now its just this boy and his sister. Idk if that has any thing to do with it. But I normally have a another dcb (14mo) and will be starting another 2 year old girl at the end of the week. I need to get this boy under control. Is letting him cry it out what needs to happen?

If I wasn't going to term, you did exactly what I would do for a 13 month old. I'm sure if you consistently do this, things will change. It just may take some time.

:hug: Take Tylenol. ::

For the record, at 13 months old he is NOT crying it out. I am very anti-CIO for infants. He will be fine. He is just tantruming.

[daycarediva]

If I wasn't going to term, you did exactly what I would do for a 13 month old. I'm sure if you consistently do this, things will change. It just may take some time.

:hug: Take Tylenol. ::

For the record, at 13 months old he is NOT crying it out. I am very anti-CIO for infants. He will be fine. He is just tantruming.

YUP! At that age, he is throwing a massive temper tantrum and needs help to learn to control that rage. I would do just what you did. Make sure all basic needs were met and that he was safe. Reassure and walk away to continue what you need to do. The needs of the other kids in care CANNOT be compromised because of this.

When you need to put him down I would say "I know you're very mad, but it's not ok to scream. I have to go ------ and I will be right back. You're ok!" and let him scream.

When would you NOT find this acceptable behavior? (all day screaming or losing it all the time for little things?) I once had an 18mo who had NO control of his emotions and would scream at the drop of a hat. When I said "tantrum" to Mom she pretty much flipped because 'he is too young for tantrums' You have to be TWO to have tantrum. . Nobody is too young to get mad enough to scream and cry about it.

[Brooksie]

Thanks ladies! I feel better about my decision. I think this is really going to work for him. After his 45 minutes he was a PEACH all day and I didn't have to pick up up or hold him for any thing besides his diaper change. He was so content playing by himself. First time in over 3 weeks!!

[Laurel]

Was just looking for some advice on how to approach my dcb (13 mo). I've posted about him multiple times. He is VERY codependent. If he is not being held or was put down for me to tend to another child he LOSES it. He loses it if he is corrected and he loses it if someone else is in my lap. There are parts of the days where he is ok but when he is having an episode it can last upto 45-1 hour. He would be totally fine if I could hold him all day and will stop crying immediately if I pick him up. This is not possible, obviously. I have other need to attend to and I honestly don't have the desire to carry him around all day. He's a big boy for his age. I'm starting to get concerned about his emotional state. The way he cries is to the EXTREME. He immediately starts SCREAMING, crying, bright red in the face, hyperventilating, drooling, shaking, falling over himself to get to me or trying to climb up my legs and even hanging on my when I'm trying to walk. He screams so loud the other kids cover their ears and we can't hear each other talking.

I do not want to term this child. If term was NOT an option how would you help him? He doesn't respond much to being talked to and reassured because of how quickly he loses it. Does any one recommend letting him go? Like letting him cry it out. He started doing this after nap and immediately lost it and I got him up and changed and when DD woke up I had to put him down to get her and that was it. After that I had to change her, change dcb's older sister and get snack out and he was going nuclear. Through the whole time I would stop and give him his blanket (trying to get him to attach to something for self soothing) and his bink and I would rub his back and tell him he was ok. I went about doing what I needed to. It was so loud, so stressful for everyone but I have a small group today so it wasn't THAT bad. It took him 45 minutes to calm down and he is now playing with a shape sorting toy behind me on the floor quietly.

So what would you guys recommend? I may also mention that my dd is now not here bc her dad picked her up 10 min ago so now its just this boy and his sister. Idk if that has any thing to do with it. But I normally have a another dcb (14mo) and will be starting another 2 year old girl at the end of the week. I need to get this boy under control. Is letting him cry it out what needs to happen?

What you did worked as he ended up playing with a toy. So I'd keep doing it at least for a few days and see if he doesn't improve. I can't think of anything else you could do really.

Laurel

[SunshineMama]

I have one that is the exact same age and does the same thing. I play with her and she screams. It must be the age. I just keep about my normal day and talk to her as I come and go. I'm hoping she'll grow out of it.