Came to Heads..... (rant)

[mrsnj]

My divorce mom who is giving me so many headaches calls on Friday at 5:15. I know what that call means at that hour. She is going to be late. It is my VBS week that I am running and I sent home notices the prior week stating I cannot take late picks ups. I am pulling out at 5:30. 5:15 comes and I know she is calling to say she is going to be late but we play phone tag for about 10 min cause I am getting kids out the door and getting my own children ready to go. Finally she calls again and I pick up. It is now 5:25....

"Can you do me a favor? I stopped and went shopping at the birthday party store and got supplies for (DCG's) party tomorrow and then picked up the cake and balloons and am running late. Can you feed the girls and take them with you to VBS so I can get in and unload everything before I come??" (mom was a helper who BTW didn't show all week) "Oh but if your going to charge me, then I will come get them".

I think my blood pressure hit the roof. I let her get the better of me and exploded. Told her I didn't have to time to deal with her now and hung up. Then rushed to get car seats and all and put them in my van in a DOWNPOUR and rushing to get to where I have to get too.

DCM pulls me over (She lives in my development) and pulls the girls from my van in the downpour and leaves. She is clearly pissed off! Doesn't show for an hour to VBS and I am now 15 min late!!!

I was livid and think I about met the end of my rope!!!!!!!!!!!

She knows I have to be someplace. She has to be there herself. She knows I am rushing to get from work to the church like a crazy nutball as it is and have a responsibility to get to and SHE CALLS ME TO ASK ME TO DO HER A FAVOR!?????????? SERIOUSLY!!???? I think I all about saw red! You know what, don't come to VBS. She had not shown all week anyway and I had replaced her. But the nerve to stop at stores to make her late, expect me to feed and haul her kids there for a FAVOR TO HER and then tell me she doesn't want to be charged???????!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

She didn't talk to me the whole VBS. She is a no show today. I have no clue what is going on. She texted and said she was coming. That was about two hrs earlier. No show. No payment. And I do not care. I have had enough. I said all along the only thing that kept those kids here was the divorced dad and the girls whom I love. Daddy days? Awesome! Mommy days....burns....me....up. She has to be about the most self centered person I have ever met!

SO I notified my waiting list and placed ads. Got an interview on Wed. She has till tonight to bring me my check or I am charging her out the tush on fees and she is done. So mad!

What I do not get is how some people seem to think the world revolves around them and everyone owes them something!

[Blackcat31]

I'm sorry you are having a tough time with this family.

Hoping things get better soon.....whether the current DCM steps up and follows policies or if you get a new family....either way, I hope it works for you.

(((Hugs))) for dealing with all that drama. :hug:

[MarinaVanessa]

Yikes, sounds like she isn't thinking about you on your end .

If you terminate DCM can you talk to DCD and explain that there is no possibility of you wanting to work with or come into contact with DCM but that you would still be willing to work with DCD if he chose too as long as he signed his own contract for his custody days, he picked up and dropped off (or someone else authorized by him but not DCM) and he paid for his days???

IDK if you'd be up for that but I was in a similar situation once where a DCM was driving me batty and her ex was totally awesome and together so I continued to work with him while she ended up taking DCB to a different provider for a while. It wasn't too bad this way and I still DCB for 2 days a week and then I just filled the other 3 days with a PT client.

If not, good for you for advertising to fill the space with a different child.

[Happy Hearts]

This is what dcm is probably thinking to justify her request

1. The kids are happy where they are for now and I'm busy getting ready for this VBS so I'll just get my stuff done

2. Daycare provider has to feed her kids too, so feeding another two won't be too hard

3. Daycare provider has been at home all day and has had lots of time to get her VBS stuff done. (this is probably a stretch as she most likely doesn't give a rat's tushy about what you do all day)

4. Daycare provider is going to VBS also, so dropping the dck's will be a breeze

5. She won't charge me extra because we're friends and are on VBS time

6. The whole world revolves around me and I'm too important to trifle with daycare provider's whims and excuses.

Good riddance to her! NEXT!

[EntropyControlSpecialist]

Yikes, sounds like she isn't thinking about you on your end .

If you terminate DCM can you talk to DCD and explain that there is no possibility of you wanting to work with or come into contact with DCM but that you would still be willing to work with DCD if he chose too as long as he signed his own contract for his custody days, he picked up and dropped off (or someone else authorized by him but not DCM) and he paid for his days???

IDK if you'd be up for that but I was in a similar situation once where a DCM was driving me batty and her ex was totally awesome and together so I continued to work with him while she ended up taking DCB to a different provider for a while. It wasn't too bad this way and I still DCB for 2 days a week and then I just filled the other 3 days with a PT client.

If not, good for you for advertising to fill the space with a different child.

If you can do this, it can work out well!

So sorry that she doesn't have her "stuff" together and it falls on you. That's a mess.

[TheGoodLife]

The whole thing is ridiculous, but to ask 5 MINUTES before you need to leave to FEED her kids and take them?! I'd record PU time, charge late fees, and term immediately as well.

[My3cents]

My divorce mom who is giving me so many headaches calls on Friday at 5:15. I know what that call means at that hour. She is going to be late. It is my VBS week that I am running and I sent home notices the prior week stating I cannot take late picks ups. I am pulling out at 5:30. 5:15 comes and I know she is calling to say she is going to be late but we play phone tag for about 10 min cause I am getting kids out the door and getting my own children ready to go. Finally she calls again and I pick up. It is now 5:25....

"Can you do me a favor? I stopped and went shopping at the birthday party store and got supplies for (DCG's) party tomorrow and then picked up the cake and balloons and am running late. Can you feed the girls and take them with you to VBS so I can get in and unload everything before I come??" (mom was a helper who BTW didn't show all week) "Oh but if your going to charge me, then I will come get them".

I think my blood pressure hit the roof. I let her get the better of me and exploded. Told her I didn't have to time to deal with her now and hung up. Then rushed to get car seats and all and put them in my van in a DOWNPOUR and rushing to get to where I have to get too.

DCM pulls me over (She lives in my development) and pulls the girls from my van in the downpour and leaves. She is clearly pissed off! Doesn't show for an hour to VBS and I am now 15 min late!!!

I was livid and think I about met the end of my rope!!!!!!!!!!!

She knows I have to be someplace. She has to be there herself. She knows I am rushing to get from work to the church like a crazy nutball as it is and have a responsibility to get to and SHE CALLS ME TO ASK ME TO DO HER A FAVOR!?????????? SERIOUSLY!!???? I think I all about saw red! You know what, don't come to VBS. She had not shown all week anyway and I had replaced her. But the nerve to stop at stores to make her late, expect me to feed and haul her kids there for a FAVOR TO HER and then tell me she doesn't want to be charged???????!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

She didn't talk to me the whole VBS. She is a no show today. I have no clue what is going on. She texted and said she was coming. That was about two hrs earlier. No show. No payment. And I do not care. I have had enough. I said all along the only thing that kept those kids here was the divorced dad and the girls whom I love. Daddy days? Awesome! Mommy days....burns....me....up. She has to be about the most self centered person I have ever met!

SO I notified my waiting list and placed ads. Got an interview on Wed. She has till tonight to bring me my check or I am charging her out the tush on fees and she is done. So mad!

What I do not get is how some people seem to think the world revolves around them and everyone owes them something!

Think I would be done with this client. I would try to work it out with Dad but explain that you want nothing to do with mother at this point. If it can work out that way great if not I would be done with this.

[mrsnj]

Guess who showed with a smile on her face and a check in her hand! 4 and 1/2 hrs late but showed with smiles. She is like a child who has to get yelled at before they will pay attention.

I have been thinking on talking with the dad. My husband says he should know cause he could lose the girls spots then he would be paying more. He pays her. She pays me. I have been thinking on if he can arrange for the pick up and payment. It is not working with her in charge. I am getting to a breaking point.

[EntropyControlSpecialist]

Guess who showed with a smile on her face and a check in her hand! 4 and 1/2 hrs late but showed with smiles. She is like a child who has to get yelled at before they will pay attention.

I have been thinking on talking with the dad. My husband says he should know cause he could lose the girls spots then he would be paying more. He pays her. She pays me. I have been thinking on if he can arrange for the pick up and payment. It is not working with her in charge. I am getting to a breaking point.

And she'll be fine until the next time you tell her no in some form or fashion.

I would definitely talk to Dad.

[MarinaVanessa]

Guess who showed with a smile on her face and a check in her hand! 4 and 1/2 hrs late but showed with smiles. She is like a child who has to get yelled at before they will pay attention.

I have been thinking on talking with the dad. My husband says he should know cause he could lose the girls spots then he would be paying more. He pays her. She pays me. I have been thinking on if he can arrange for the pick up and payment. It is not working with her in charge. I am getting to a breaking point.

I definitely think that you should talk to DCD. If he can take over drop offs, pick ups and payments (she pays him her share, if any) and do it completely that would be ideal for you. This way you could keep the client and be done with the DCM.

I would request a meeting with both parents at the same time and go over the issues and the policies again with both of them. Just say that you still want to work with them but you just can't function this way anymore. Put them on probation and require that DCD make all payments, drop offs and pick ups.

And she'll be fine until the next time you tell her no in some form or fashion.

I would definitely talk to Dad.

[LaLa1923]

update?

[mrsnj]

Well it's been quiet. It's daddy days. On time. Early pick up. Nooooo problem. It will start tomorrow at pick up. Pick up on Wed is the start of mommy days. It was funny though. The oldest dcg says today "my mommy says she isn't doing vbs next year". I said "I agree". Like I am fool enough to go there again. My helpers work. Not show when they want n text when when they do n ASK ME FAVORS so they can show late!! (Yes. Still amazed). I will have to update later. Likely she will be good though. At least for this wk. She knows I was fuming.

Got an interview tomorrow though