I Have a Dilemma

Collapse
This topic is closed.
X
X
 
  • Time
  • Show
Clear All
new posts
  • broncomom1973
    Daycare.com Member
    • Sep 2010
    • 179

    #31
    As a nurse, formerly at a family practice clinic, a 2 lb weight loss is significant when your talking about an infant. That is a 12% weight loss in a 2 month period. It is not uncommon for infants to stay the same for short periods of time or to gain weight slower once they become mobile, but a 2 lb weight loss suggest something else is going on. I myself, am a mother to a small child. My daughter just turned 3 and is only 26 lbs dressed. She started off in the 50th percentile and dropped steadily, not abruptly. Our pediatrician keeps an eye on her. There are many things that can cause weight loss in a child of this age including dietary deficiencies, lead exposure, metabolic and skeletal problems.

    As far as how to deal with this mother, I do not know what the right approach is. I understand your concerns and would be concerned myself if I were in the same situation. Does the child go for regular well child checks? Hopefully so, and the child can be checked out. We do lead checks and a CBC on all 1 year olds here to look for any abnormalities. It sounds to me like this mother is unaware of current rcommendations when it comes to both feeding and travelling with an infant. Good luck.

    Comment

    • Live and Learn
      Daycare.com Member
      • Sep 2010
      • 956

      #32
      I would just be matter of fact about it. Say something like we have a no juice policy here. Water is always offered for thirsty children but please send two bottle or sippies of formula tomorrow. Also say after she ate her 2 jars of babyfood she was still super hungry .....please send a third jar tomorrow.
      With your loving attention I am sure that you will fatten her up nicely.::

      Comment

      • nannyde
        All powerful, all knowing daycare whisperer
        • Mar 2010
        • 7320

        #33
        Originally posted by Crystal
        I don't think two pounds of weight loss is that big of a deal. It is quite common when young children go from crawling, to walking/running, that they lose a bit of weight. I could understand it being a concern if it was a significant amount of weight, but two pounds is very minimal.

        On the milk issue, without knowing all of the facts, you cannot really assume that the parent is not properly caring for her child. Her pediatrician may very well have recommended or approved the child to move to cows milk. The juice may be to provide additional calories. If the juice is causing the child to not eat, because she is filling up on juice, then that I would be concerned about, but otherwise, if Mom wants to give juice, then that's her choice. That doesn't mean you have to provide/offer it to her at daycare, but I don't think it is neccessarily something to be concerned about.

        Now, it is certainly okay to discuss this with Mom, in a non-confrontational way. Let her know, based on your training, that you feel her daughters diet is lacking in some areas and you are a bit concerned about dcg diet and would like to better understand her reasoning for the milk and juice.
        I don't think two pounds of weight loss is that big of a deal. It is quite common when young children go from crawling, to walking/running, that they lose a bit of weight. I could understand it being a concern if it was a significant amount of weight, but two pounds is very minimal.



        Wow that is not only incorrect but actually dangerous. Not only is a two pound weight loss between the eigth to eleventh month VERY VERY VERY significant... the child should be GAINING an average of THREE pounds during this time. PLEASE PLEASE look at the clinical growth charts and see what the AVERAGE child does during this time frame. Even at the lower percentiles for the AVERAGE child who is crawling to walking and running they GAIN weight during this time. Remember that nearly ALL children being assessed for height and weight are doing this (mobile) developmentally so the this IS already factored into the clinical assessment.



        That doesn't mean you have to provide/offer it to her at daycare, but I don't think it is neccessarily something to be concerned about.

        Crystal this child is not even ON the growth charts for weight it's SO low. The baby would have to be at 16 pounds to even BE in the third percentile. Of COURSE it's something to be concerened about.

        A parent can NOT give you permission to do the wrong thing. They do NOT get to decide whether or not a provider gives a baby formula. They can decide what BRAND of formula but they can NOT decide to give them juice INSTEAD of formula. If milk is to be served BEFORE the first birthday the BEST PRACTICE (as you know since you are a TEACHER and a MENTOR) is to get a physicians note documenting that the child CAN have milk as a substitute for formula.

        A baby who presents so UNDERWEIGHT and having lost 12 percent of her body weight in the last three months and who should be INCREASING her body weight by approximately EIGHT percent during that three month window would NEVER be prescribed this by a doctor.

        No clinician in their RIGHT MIND would EVER reccommend this for this child. No one with experience and education on the BASIC growth and development would EVER reccommend this for a child who is LOOSING weight at such a significant rate at this time of infancy.
        http://www.amazon.com/Daycare-Whispe...=doing+daycare

        Comment

        • MarinaVanessa
          Family Childcare Home
          • Jan 2010
          • 7211

          #34
          Okay I jumped in a little late in the game here but from what I got from the original post here is that DCM gives her child of 11 mo two bottles of milk a day. I'm going to assume that because it says "bottles/cups" that this means a cup of milk each time and I'm going to assume that this means they are giving infant cereal as well.

          According to the USDA food guidelines for an 11mo this is what the child should be getting
          Breakfast:
          6-8 oz of milk
          2-4 tablespoons of infant cereal &
          1-4 tablespoons of fruit or veggies or both

          Lunch:
          6-8 fluid ounces of formula or breast milk
          2-4 tablespoons of infant cereal1 ; and/or
          1-4 tablespoons of meat, fish, poultry, egg yolk, cooked dry beans or peas; or
          ร‚ยฝ-2 ounces of cheese; or 1-4 ounces (volume) of cottage cheese; or 1-4 ounces (weight) of cheese food or cheese spread; and

          1-4 tablespoons of fruit or vegetable or both

          Supper:
          6-8 fluid ounces of formula or breast milk
          2-4 tablespoons of infant cereal1 ; and/or

          1-4 tablespoons of meat, fish, poultry, egg yolk, cooked dry beans or peas; or
          ร‚ยฝ-2 ounces of cheese; or 1-4 ounces (volume) of cottage cheese; or 1-4 ounces (weight) of cheese food or cheese spread; and

          1-4 tablespoons of fruit or vegetable or both

          Snack (USDA food program recommends 2 snacks)
          2-4 fluid ounces of formula1 or breast milk or fruit juice; and
          0-ร‚ยฝ bread
          0-2 crackers


          When I was on the USDA food program you could substitute the fruit/veggie with 100% fruit juice (the kind that WIC allows) so I'm going to count the juicy juice as fruit since it's 100% fruit juice. If all they are giving the child is milk and infant formula at home and all they want you to give the child is juice and water while she is with you that would mean that everything in red is missing from the childs daily recommended meal intake (although we don't know if they are feeding the infant other foods as well).

          You can always print out the infant portion of the guidelines in it's entirety and only point out the meals that infant is in your care for to show them that this is what you will give the infant and let them take it home with them. When they're at home they can see that the child's day should consist way more than just juice and water without you making them feel confronted etc. According to these recommendations you should be giving 1 more 8oz bottle during daycare hours with iron fortified infant cereal and this they should provide.
          It's the same link as was posted ealier

          Comment

          • nannyde
            All powerful, all knowing daycare whisperer
            • Mar 2010
            • 7320

            #35
            Originally posted by broncomom1973
            As a nurse, formerly at a family practice clinic, a 2 lb weight loss is significant when your talking about an infant. That is a 12% weight loss in a 2 month period. It is not uncommon for infants to stay the same for short periods of time or to gain weight slower once they become mobile, but a 2 lb weight loss suggest something else is going on.
            Yes as a RN and a child care provider I agree. This is basic fundamental 101 child development. Infants should not LOOSE weight over a three month period of time. They should gain weight. Even WITH all the mobility that comes during this time they should still be gaining weight. Even the lowest percentile infants (including factoring in mobility) GAIN weight during this time.
            http://www.amazon.com/Daycare-Whispe...=doing+daycare

            Comment

            • sahm2three
              Daycare.com Member
              • Apr 2010
              • 1104

              #36
              My children never lost weight. They always gained, and stayed on their own curve. This just hits a nerve. Of course, now we are learning that she is doing some weird things as far as nutrition. But to judge someone solely on the fact that their child is small is assinine! My kids were in the -5th percentile until they were almost 18 months old! My oldest was walking at 7.5 months and was 12 pounds!!! And in a size 2 infant shoe! Teeny tiny. I say talk to the mom, see where she is getting her information from. Maybe it is just not knowing better.

              Comment

              • AmandasFCC
                Senior Member
                • Aug 2009
                • 423

                #37
                Originally posted by thatgagirl
                New baby started today, will be 11mos this weekend.

                Mom dropped off we talked for a min and she left, I went to put all her stuff away and there was no formula. I texted mom and said "There is no formula" she said "No formula, juice juice or water"

                There was a giant jug of juicy juice in the bag.

                I don't give children juice. Flat out, period. My 3 and 4 year old maybe get it once every couple months.

                She said that the child gets 2 bottles/cups of "milk" a day one in the AM when she wakes and one to go to bed. I know for a fact she is on WIC so she gets formula...

                Is there a link to something I can print saying how many ounces of formula they need before age 1? I know that cows milk is fine after age 1, but is it ok for her to only have water all day? She is here until about 4pm.

                I have a 9 month old here who gets his morning bottle here and then a lunch bottle. By those calculations I would be giving the 11 mo at least 1 cup of milk a day since they leave at about the same time. The 9mo gets here a little earlier than the 11mo...

                ETA: I breastfed my children, so formula is new to me

                HELP!

                Oh and she also has the 11mo forward facing in the carseat (she is 15lbs) but I guess that is another battle *sigh*
                Is it possible she's still breastfeeding any doesn't want her to have anything else until Mom can nurse her?

                I had a drop in 11 mo a couple months ago and when I asked if there was formula in the bag Mom looked shocked and said "no, just feed her regular food and water"... I was like ... ok ...

                Then when she picked up I heard Mom say to her "I bet you're dying for a milk cuddle aren't you?"

                Also, when I weened my dd at 9 months she wouldn't take formula. Absolutely wouldn't. She wouldn't even take breast milk from a bottle or cup. She got into one of her little friends' bottles with milk in it and just loved it so we put her right on milk at that point. No, it's not the greatest thing int he world for them at that point, I realize that, but as long as she doesn't react badly to it I wouldn't worry. They say in a lot of places between 9-12 months is fine to start introducing cow's milk.

                Comment

                • AmandasFCC
                  Senior Member
                  • Aug 2009
                  • 423

                  #38
                  Nvm I just noticed how late I came in ... sorry! Off to read the thread

                  Comment

                  • Crystal
                    Advanced Daycare.com Member
                    • Dec 2009
                    • 4002

                    #39
                    After re-reading the original post....is it possible Mom means formula when she says "milk" and is perhaps weining her from formula and only wants her to have water or juice during the day? Just curious, as you didn't say she specifically stated that she doesn't use formula. It seems a parent who is receiving WIC benefits would be educated about proper nutrition. Or, at least they should be, that IS the point of the whole program.

                    Comment

                    • nannyde
                      All powerful, all knowing daycare whisperer
                      • Mar 2010
                      • 7320

                      #40
                      Originally posted by Crystal
                      After re-reading the original post....is it possible Mom means formula when she says "milk" and is perhaps weining her from formula and only wants her to have water or juice during the day? Just curious, as you didn't say she specifically stated that she doesn't use formula. It seems a parent who is receiving WIC benefits would be educated about proper nutrition. Or, at least they should be, that IS the point of the whole program.
                      Most likely explanation is that she is not getting enough formula cans to cover the child's needs over the month. This begins to happen around the six to seventh month. There is a surplus of formula during the first six months and too little the last six months.

                      The Mom is either keeping the formula to use when she has the baby (it's easy and it is filling to the baby) and doesn't want to spend money to buy the cans to cover her during day care OR

                      she's switched her to milk and is selling the formula. If the baby has had a period of months with milk instead of formula she may have pernicious anemia. It's important to find out exactly WHAT she is drinking and how much. At her age, tall stature, and low low weight she should definitely still be on formula and her diet needs to be planned accordingly to make sure she is getting the upper limits of the ranges of each food group as long as she will take them (poster says she eats well).

                      If she is getting WIC she is getting formula until and thru the month of the first birthday. The only exception would be a breast feeding Mom who is taking the WIC food for the Mom instead of the formula. If she is doing this then she needs to supply the breast milk.

                      Either way it's breast milk or formula for the next five weeks at least. An extension on the formula could take her into month twelve thru fifteen. If she attended here I would ask the Mom to ask for the extension now and if WIC didn't provide or couldn't provide due to budget constraints then I would offer to purchase it myself with a Dr's reccommendation. It would be worth it to me to make sure she got the most caloric dense foods and liquids until her weight came at least within twenty percent or so of her height.
                      http://www.amazon.com/Daycare-Whispe...=doing+daycare

                      Comment

                      • legomom922
                        Advanced Daycare.com Member
                        • Jul 2010
                        • 1020

                        #41
                        This is really getting out of hand...nobody said this baby has lost weight...now people are accusing the mother of selling her formula for money..that she doesnt have any money for formula so she is replacing it with juice..Since when is juice POSION?? The OP is asking her clients friends question about their financial status...I mean come on, some of you are crucifying this Mom!! I can't believe stuff like this goes on! I am soo glad I never had to use a DCP, because I would hate to think that the person I was PAYING to watch my son, was controling what he ate & drank without knowing OUR BACKGROUND and disregarding MY RULES for MY OWN CHILD. Serously, who do you think you are? How many of you follow the recommedations for oyurselves? Who drinks 8 full glasses of water per day, 3 servings of veggies per day etc etc..Most of you have stated that you are even to busy to eat linch, an dyet you want this mom to follow everything precisely the way govt suggests??? My son was a VEY PICKY EATER and still do this day will not eat veggies or meat. He is extremely healthy. Just because th s kid is getting juice and milk does not mean this mom should be reported! Get off you high horses and mind your own business. You are being paid to watch their kids, not be their nutritionist and certainky not to judge someone else who does things differently than you would. I had my son on a sippy cup at 7 months...I'm sure if he had gone to you, you probably would have poured his drink into a baby bottle because YOU didnt agree! You are not the parents of these kids and I really think you ar eover stepping your boundaries. If I was that mother, I would drop you as my DCP immediatley!

                        Comment

                        • broncomom1973
                          Daycare.com Member
                          • Sep 2010
                          • 179

                          #42
                          "Get off you high horses and mind your own business. You are being paid to watch their kids, not be their nutritionist and certainky not to judge someone else who does things differently than you would."

                          As a daycare provider in the state that I live in, it is your responsibility to be an ADVOCATE for the children you care for. If that means providing a mom with information that may help her make better decisions regarding her childs health and safety, then there is nothing wrong with that. Also, as a member of the government food program, I am NOT going to break the rules and serve excessive amounts of juice in place of formula or milk. I DO follow the rules because I care about these kids and if I had a parent become upset because I offerred advice, and that parent didnt like it, then they are free to leave and at least I know that I have done my job as far as speaking up and looking out for the best interest of the child.

                          Comment

                          • marniewon
                            Daycare.com Member
                            • Aug 2010
                            • 897

                            #43
                            From the OP:

                            Originally posted by thatgagirl

                            I spoke to a close friend of hers who said this baby weighed 17lbs 3 mos ago, so she has lost 2 lbs over the last 3 mos.
                            I'm not sure why there is any question about formula vs. juice. If this dcp is on the food program, she cannot get credit for meals if she's not feeding formula at EVERY meal (unless there is a dr. note saying that baby can't have formula). Hmmm....that tells me that infants must be on formula or other supplement until they are 1 year or have a doctor's note saying differently. It has nothing to do with dcp trying to take over and "parent" this child - it's the way it's supposed to be!

                            Comment

                            • legomom922
                              Advanced Daycare.com Member
                              • Jul 2010
                              • 1020

                              #44
                              Do you know for a FACT the friends wasn't just estimating the weight or that she even knows this to be true? Does she have a copy of the Drs records? Do you even know how much of a friendship they really have? Just because a "friend" says this or that, does not make it so! I'm saying there are no FACTS that show that the child lost weight!

                              And if the only reason why you want a kid to have formula over milk that the PARENTS of the child want it to have is because of MONEY from the food program, that is pretty selffish to me. Oh my, lets not get ripped off by a few cents here and there...I wonder if you would still care about the milk if you were not on the food program? Lets face it, it's the child you are worried about, it's the money!

                              Maybe you also should report WIC for giving out JUICE for heavens sake... It's not RAT POISON ya know!

                              Bottom line is you are judging this woman on her first day of care with NO FACTS!

                              Comment

                              • DBug
                                Daycare Member
                                • Oct 2009
                                • 934

                                #45
                                Originally posted by legomom922
                                T You are being paid to watch their kids, not be their nutritionist and certainky not to judge someone else who does things differently than you would.
                                Hear Hear! I totally agree! Unless it comes to a situation of legally defined abuse, how a person parents is none of our business. I will feed a child as best I can while they are in my home, but I don't think it's any of our business to pretend we're the experts when it comes to someone else's child. I have had experience caring for what I believe was an undernourished 2 year old. I fed her as much fruit, veggies and whole grains as I could while she was in my care. But it was none of my business what she was eating outside of my care, unless her parents were not feeding her at all, or feeding her poison. Seriously. None of my business. We're being paid to do a job -- not to take over a parent's job.
                                www.WelcomeToTheZoo.ca

                                Comment

                                Working...