Own Child Hurting Others

[jokalima]

Hello,

My own child has been hurting another specific child lately. He has bitten this other kid about 3 times and scratched him more than 3. I have been trying to make the behavior stop and nothing seems to work. It is only with this specific child. DCM has had it and wants me to make it stop and to keep them separated, this is basically impossible because of the size of my dc room. What would you do about it? My child has special Ed teachers that are helping wit his social skills but it takes time. Tips please.

[cheerfuldom]

Really if your son is targeting another child and you cannot keep them separated and cannot shadow them/supervise them all the time, I would let this mom go with the understanding that it is nothing she or her son did wrong, it is for her son's safety. My middle daughter is special needs and part of her struggle is aggressive behavior. I watch her like a hawk and I know exactly which kids she has a hard time with and in what scenarios so I am seriously on the alert all the time. Its exhausting but its part of the deal with a kid like her. She is the main reason that my group will never grow any larger and I wont pursue licensing and adding more kids. She cant handle it and I cant guarantee everyone's safety after a certain point. I'm sorry....that probably isnt what you want to hear but there is nothing else you can do. You better be proactive and let this family go before something seriously bad happens or even, nothing happens but this mom accuses you of something bad. If her son gets hurt at home but she blames you and your son, there is evidence that your child has been hurting others so it would be harder for you to defend yourself.

[kateskiddos]

I am in a very similar situation with my 2 year old. He also has special needs and sees an OT. Some things that have worked for us are time-outs . I have to be very consistent with them. It took a while but he eventually figured out there would be a consequence for his hitting biting ect. I always make sure I hug and kiss him more so he doesn't feel like the other kids are taking me away if that makes sense. Sometimes when I'm not able to watch his every move, like when I'm getting lunch ready ill put him in a high chair and give him something to do, color , snack, brush teeth . It really has helped

[jokalima]

I do t/outs with him and also take privileges away and he does understand the reason why we take those things away because we talk/ask him and he answers correctly. The high chair , I Don't think it would work with him. But we keep working on it, there is no way I can see myself watching his every single move, I have to serve lunch, feed a baby every 1 and 1/2 hour so there are moments that I am not able to stop him even when I am in the same room. Yes I could sit them next to me but it does not guarantee safety. I will keep trying my best but if it does happen again I think I will listen to advice and term the other child.

[cheerfuldom]

good luck!

i really think you should just term. do you really want to wait it out? nothing is changing on your end so the reality of him suddenly stopping the behavior when he hasn't before, is not good at all. I would just worry that giving him "one more chance" is taking a big risk that the next something really serious happen. i hope i am wrong though.

[Familycare71]

Just want to send you a :hug:!!
Way to be a great mom and dc provider!! So many would make excuses, etc... There is no shame in having to term... It's where your son is right now-

[DaisyMamma]

This is also an ongoing problem at my DC. My DD typically targets one child. If that child leaves she targets another. I've let onlyone child from it so far. I find having less children in my DC helps.
Basically my DD doesn't like having to share her home, her mom and her toys. They aren't her toys but she doesn't really understand that, although she does understand that the toys that are hers alone are special and aren't in the daycare room. On the other hand she likes having play mates and asks f daycare s coming every morning.