Sleeping SA'r..., WWYD?

[coolconfidentme]

I have a 11 yr old boy who comes with his siblings & is is very negative. He is anti-social with the others. At home he name calls his mom, hits siblings & gets away with everything. (he is the big bully type there) He minds here cause I have zero tolerance policy. At home he stays up all night playing video games & mom wants him to sleep. Mom asked for help. I am constantly waking him up. Today, I started making him stand for 11 minutes every time I catch him sleeping. I tell him it is his job to stay away, not my job to remind him. Would you do this? Any suggestion?

ps.., His sisters are the best helpers a provider can have. Very polite, respects others, etc.

[nannyde]

I would rather have him asleep than awake. The Mom needs to grow some and cut his electronics off. This has nothing to do with child care. Just tell her he says no to staying awake. She needs to broker the deal with him not you.

[blandino]

I would rather have him asleep than awake. The Mom needs to grow some and cut his electronics off. This has nothing to do with child care. Just tell her he says no to staying awake. She needs to broker the deal with him not you.

Absolutely ! She is wanting you to do the hard part that she is unwilling to do.

[itlw8]

I agree not your problem. let him sleep

She needs to get them out of the house I mean completely. Years ago I found a box to lock over the plug to keep boys from playing but that was daytime.... If he is doing that baloney late at night. she needs to take it all apart and store it in her room or plain just get rid of it.ALL of it He will sleep at night then.

[coolconfidentme]

This is very true.

I'm not sure if it matters, but she is recently divorced. Her escape came when he was arrested for battery to another guy. The mom wasn't allowed to do anything & this is her first job. She really is clueless on parenting. The kids are held back in life..., the 9 yr old doesn't even know how to ride a bike!

[Blackcat31]

How exactly does mom expect you to help with an issue she is having at home?

That doesn't make any sense to me...you have no control over what he does at night, whether he plays video games all night or sleeps :confused:

I understand wanting to assist a parent in parenting their child but this is above and beyond and is really just mom passing the buck for HER inability to tell her child no and then follow through on it

I can't say for sure but the child sounds angry and sullen (probably lack of sleep) and I'd be super nervous about having an anti-social, negative, "big bully type" kid that old around my other daycare kids.........iykwim.

[Meeko]

Let him sleep. Keeps him from bullying the other kids. It's MOM'S problem and she should be the one to change things...not you.

Tell her he was dead tired and therefore he slept all day. Let her deal with it.

[daycarediva]

I would put this BACK on Mom. If it were me, I would tell her that I am unwilling to deal with a miserable preteen because she can't unplug his electronics. She needs to set a bedtime (even 9:30p is reasonable at that age depending on what time he needs to wake up) and then unplug everything and continue to do so for the entire summer.


I have it in my handbook that children need to come to daycare RESTED and ready for the day. I also have in there that I will NOT withhold sleep from a tired child (added this last year for my then 5yo dcb who was napping with the littles every single day because he didn't go to bed until 11-12!) I would highlight those sections and hand it to her.

[Starburst]

I would rather have him asleep than awake. The Mom needs to grow some and cut his electronics off. This has nothing to do with child care. Just tell her he says no to staying awake. She needs to broker the deal with him not you.

Plus you may want to look into your state laws or your licensor because depriving a child of sleep and punishing them for sleeping may be considered maltreatment (I just read my state laws on this site and it said that NO corporal punishment or deprivation of sleep/food/water is allowed even with parent permision). I put in my contract that no child should be deprived of regular meals, water, or sleep when in my care, even with parental permission. Also I would incourage mom to impliment this at home first, since the issue isn't when he is at daycare. She may also want to take him to get evaluated because he has anger issues and possibly depression (in tween/teen boys depression can come off as agression- my brother is that way), he may be bullied at school and takes his anger out on his family.

Honestly, she let him get away with this behavior for so long that he believes it acceptable at home because she doesn't do anything about it. If an older child (especially over the age of 10) tried to hurt a younger child I would have no problem calling the cops because 1) it won't go on there record since they are a minor, 2) it is easier to get help now while he is still a child 3) he could one day do this to his future girlfriends/wife and children. It needs to be stopped NOW!

Maybe she should look into a 'scared straight' type program... or military school.

[coolconfidentme]

I will tell her.

He does mind me; the first week here he got in all kinds of trouble, but has followed the rules ever since. He knows I have consequences. When she says he is outta control, I told her he was in total control..., over her.

Parenting is really new to her. The ex laid down the law & they all coward down to him. This boy seems to be acting out & acting like dad. idk...