Two Year Old Temper Tantrum

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  • Cradle2crayons
    Daycare.com Member
    • Apr 2013
    • 3642

    #16
    I'm a mean mother. Even my five year old has to EARN that money for the ****er or candy bar etc

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    • My3cents
      Daycare.com Member
      • Jan 2012
      • 3387

      #17
      What do you do when child refuses to go to time out or calm down station or won't stay once you have placed them there?

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      • Heidi
        Daycare.com Member
        • Sep 2011
        • 7121

        #18
        Originally posted by My3cents
        What do you do when child refuses to go to time out or calm down station or won't stay once you have placed them there?
        That's one of the reasons I just don't use them. In WI, I can't use them for children under 3 anyway.

        I do use the playpen on rare occasion for the one little man (like I said yesterday). But, there is a toy in there for comfort, and I present it as a break, not a time-out. Not sure how licensing would look at it, so I'd be unlikely to do it in front of a licenser. 99% of the time, redirection works way better anyway.

        Now, if it's for screaming/crying and carrying on, I would really just keep leading him back to the crying spot or calming corner. Instead of "time-out", which means 1 minute per year of age or you say when he can come out, it's "here is the calming corner, come out when you are calm". Or "your screaming hurts my ears, so back and play when you are done". It's a comfy spot, not a hard chair with a dunce cap...(jk )

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        • My3cents
          Daycare.com Member
          • Jan 2012
          • 3387

          #19
          Originally posted by Heidi
          That's one of the reasons I just don't use them. In WI, I can't use them for children under 3 anyway.

          I do use the playpen on rare occasion for the one little man (like I said yesterday). But, there is a toy in there for comfort, and I present it as a break, not a time-out. Not sure how licensing would look at it, so I'd be unlikely to do it in front of a licenser. 99% of the time, redirection works way better anyway.

          Now, if it's for screaming/crying and carrying on, I would really just keep leading him back to the crying spot or calming corner. Instead of "time-out", which means 1 minute per year of age or you say when he can come out, it's "here is the calming corner, come out when you are calm". Or "your screaming hurts my ears, so back and play when you are done". It's a comfy spot, not a hard chair with a dunce cap...(jk )
          So after two minutes the child has not calmed down and is still in full blown mode, won't stay where you have placed them, kicking, screaming, you let them back into the group like that?

          I love your comfy spot idea and if it works for you great. My kids would want to be placed there that would have no effect on them. They have those places in the general play area. A comfy spot would not keep this one from getting up and being obstinate anyway. If put him in a chair he gets up, if I walk away from him he steps off the zone mat that the chair is on, if I walk away he follows slowly carrying on and such like a little mad man. Then he can't calm down, that horrible sob sob that breaks your heart comes out and it just continues.

          Today I did more talking out with the little and it did seem to be a bit better day. I think my little was over over tired and just entered land of no return. I just don't want this to become the norm- Another thing is one of the parents travels a lot for work and I know this has an effect. Super smart kiddo, keeps right up with my three's.

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          • Heidi
            Daycare.com Member
            • Sep 2011
            • 7121

            #20
            Originally posted by My3cents
            So after two minutes the child has not calmed down and is still in full blown mode, won't stay where you have placed them, kicking, screaming, you let them back into the group like that?
            I love your comfy spot idea and if it works for you great. My kids would want to be placed there that would have no effect on them. They have those places in the general play area. A comfy spot would not keep this one from getting up and being obstinate anyway. If put him in a chair he gets up, if I walk away from him he steps off the zone mat that the chair is on, if I walk away he follows slowly carrying on and such like a little mad man. Then he can't calm down, that horrible sob sob that breaks your heart comes out and it just continues.

            Today I did more talking out with the little and it did seem to be a bit better day. I think my little was over over tired and just entered land of no return. I just don't want this to become the norm- Another thing is one of the parents travels a lot for work and I know this has an effect. Super smart kiddo, keeps right up with my three's.

            No...I just don't tell them two minutes. I'd keep leading him back for as long as it takes. Give him something to hug (if he'll take it), but keep redirecting that he can't come back to the group until he's calmer. I'd let a sniffle or two go, but not the screaming. Of course, avoiding the tantrum with redirection or empathy (whatever the situation calls for) in the first place usually works better.

            Honestly, I can't even remember ever having a child where a time-out really worked. The ones that would stay put "for two minutes" were usually pretty compliant anyway. The rest wouldn't stay on their spot, and it became a battle of wills over the time-out. Whatever the original crime was would be long forgotten.

            The exception was the 5 year old I talked about before. But 5 is a whole lot different than 2. That kid was totally in control though. He obviously used the tantrums to manipulate everyone. Long story, but long gone....

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