Two Year Old Temper Tantrum

[My3cents]

What works?

What works for the above and beyond Tantrum?

Can be over anything, toy taken away for ruff play to wrong shoes

Terming not an option, this child is good for most of the time.

When this child goes into this TT fit it goes beyond, would love some helps advice etc.....

How do you handle the horrible two's and TT?

[Evansmom]

As long as there are no other issues (like ADHD, SPD, Autism, etc.) and as long as no one is in danger from the tantrum I ignore them. Tantrums get nothing from me. If they are disrupting other children I will pick them up and move them to a place away from the group but that's it.

Sometimes I will quietly and calmly with no emotion say "when you settle down we can (fill in the blank with what you are willing to offer here)" or something like that but most of the time I just walk away or turn my back.

After the tantrum I will always have a quiet discussion about what happened, reiterate that tantrums and screaming get nothing and what I'd like to see happen instead like making a polite request.

Kids learn real quick that tantrums don't work with me and I don't and haven't had a problem with them.

Now kids with ED, SPD etc. another story and MUCH harder to deal with. I have two of my own with SPD and it's been a real challenge.

[e.j.]

As long as there are no other issues (like ADHD, SPD, Autism, etc.) and as long as no one is in danger from the tantrum I ignore them. Tantrums get nothing from me. If they are disrupting other children I will pick them up and move them to a place away from the group but that's it.

Sometimes I will quietly and calmly with no emotion say "when you settle down we can (fill in the blank with what you are willing to offer here)" or something like that but most of the time I just walk away or turn my back.

After the tantrum I will always have a quiet discussion about what happened, reiterate that tantrums and screaming get nothing and what I'd like to see happen instead like making a polite request.

Kids learn real quick that tantrums don't work with me and I don't and haven't had a problem with them.

Now kids with ED, SPD etc. another story and MUCH harder to deal with. I have two of my own with SPD and it's been a real challenge.

When my son (who has Asperger's) used to have meltdowns, this is exactly how I handled them. Reacting to them just fed into the tantrums and made them last longer. Remaining calm and ignoring them as much as possible allowed him to calm down much faster. As long as he wasn't in any danger of harming himself, I would calmly tell him, "When you're done, let me know." Once he was calmed down, we would talk it over and discuss better ways to handle his frustrations.

[Blackcat31]

When my son (who has Asperger's) used to have meltdowns, this is exactly how I handled them. Reacting to them just fed into the tantrums and made them last longer. Remaining calm and ignoring them as much as possible allowed him to calm down much faster. As long as he wasn't in any danger of harming himself, I would calmly tell him, "When you're done, let me know." Once he was calmed down, we would talk it over and discuss better ways to handle his frustrations.

Another thumbs up for this ^^

My pediatrician told me when my son had tantrums (also an Aspie) to ignore them....they preform when they have an audience.

Take away the audience and there is no joy in performing.

Talk it through later when they are calm and able to focus on what you are saying.

[NeedaVaca]

The audience part is so true, I have seen them (many times and different kiddo's) put their hands over their eyes while crying but then peeking through their fingers to make sure I am still watching them. Nope, I make sure I stay busy doing something so they don't think I'm paying any attention to the fit!

[WImom]

I do the same as others. Ignore them, move them to a place noone will get hurt. Ie: they start it when near other kids I will move them so they don't kick anyone.

[daycare]

hit the ignore button.....

I didnt read them all, but I would just place the child in a safe place where they cannot hurt themselves or others and leave them be to complete the tantrum. When they are done you can talk to them and welcome them back to the group.

Many moons ago my very first dck was the best at throwing TT. THey would go on for over an hour sometimes 2....When I started getting more kids I quickly realized that I could not let this go on. SO after 40 minutes if the child has not been able to calm themselves or with assistance, they have to go home......

[daycare]

The audience part is so true, I have seen them (many times and different kiddo's) put their hands over their eyes while crying but then peeking through their fingers to make sure I am still watching them. Nope, I make sure I stay busy doing something so they don't think I'm paying any attention to the fit!

OMG I have this child..... I make sure to have them sit in the direction that they won't see any of us.......its kind of funny to watch......little boogars

[coolconfidentme]

I tell them to go in the nap room & when they are done, they can come out. If they throw one because of TO, I have them do the same & when they come out their TO begins. They know this up front. Works for me....

[Sunchimes]

I agree with the ignoring advice. Works for me. If it isn't a full blown tantrum, I just tell them to sit in the crying chair until they are finished, then go about my business.

Funny true story: Mom said that I started throwing some pretty massive tantrums about 2. One day, she picked me up and tanned my britches (it was nearly 60 years ago, she was allowed). According to her, the next time I threw myself in the floor to have a tantrum, I sat there a minute then sighed and said, "It's just not worth it," got up and went about my day. She said it didn't stop tantrums, but they were never as frequent or long after that. ::

[Blackcat31]

Funny true story: Mom said that I started throwing some pretty massive tantrums about 2. One day, she picked me up and tanned my britches (it was nearly 60 years ago, she was allowed). According to her, the next time I threw myself in the floor to have a tantrum, I sat there a minute then sighed and said, "It's just not worth it," got up and went about my day. She said it didn't stop tantrums, but they were never as frequent or long after that. ::

Proof that a firm enough consequence DOES make an impact and changes a child's behavior.

This is what I believe is wrong with parenting styles today...not enough FIRM consequences for negative behaviors.

NOT saying all kids should be spanked....just saying that follow through and a FIRM consequence makes ALL the difference in whether a behavior will be repeated or not.

[daycare]

Proof that a firm enough consequence DOES make an impact and changes a child's behavior.

This is what I believe is wrong with parenting styles today...not enough FIRM consequences for negative behaviors.

NOT saying all kids should be spanked....just saying that follow through and a FIRM consequence makes ALL the difference in whether a behavior will be repeated or not.

BC can you tell my ex husband this.....

I copied this from a thing that I am currently reading.......this is what all of us deal with daily....

part of the stuff I am reading:

He’ll act like he’s going to throw a temper tantrum in the store. And then you have a choice: deal with that temper tantrum or buy him a candy bar. Most parents buy the candy bar, which increases the probability this behavior will occur again. I understand why parents give in. They reason, “Well, it's only a candy bar.” And I agree: I’ve got nothing against buying things for kids. But the bottom line is, how does your child go about getting that candy bar or comic book? Does he earn it with good behavior or buy it with his own allowance money? Or does he intimidate and bully you into giving in to him? If he’s doing the latter, you will probably see him act out in restaurants and other public places as well when he doesn't get his way. At home, he will threaten to have a tantrum or lose his temper to get more power over you.

Read more: http://www.empoweringparents.com/Ang...#ixzz2YaZd6Ua6

[Blackcat31]

part of the stuff I am reading:

He’ll act like he’s going to throw a temper tantrum in the store. And then you have a choice: deal with that temper tantrum or buy him a candy bar. Most parents buy the candy bar, which increases the probability this behavior will occur again. I understand why parents give in. They reason, “Well, it's only a candy bar.” And I agree: I’ve got nothing against buying things for kids. But the bottom line is, how does your child go about getting that candy bar or comic book? Does he earn it with good behavior or buy it with his own allowance money? Or does he intimidate and bully you into giving in to him? If he’s doing the latter, you will probably see him act out in restaurants and other public places as well when he doesn't get his way. At home, he will threaten to have a tantrum or lose his temper to get more power over you.

Read more: http://www.empoweringparents.com/Ang...#ixzz2YaZd6Ua6

CLASSSIC example of a bad move on the parents part....the parent got immediate results (kid stopped crying in the store)

But the kid learned that he DOES have a viable method of controlling others and obtaining what he wants vs what he needs.

He needs to learn good/acceptable social behaviors but instead he learned that he can get what he wants by having a tantrum in public and mom/dad will do whatever it takes to keep him quiet.

He won't remember anything else other than, that tactic works and why change your behavior if it's working for you...

[daycare]

CLASSSIC example of a bad move on the parents part....the parent got immediate results (kid stopped crying in the store)

But the kid learned that he DOES have a viable method of controlling others and obtaining what he wants vs what he needs.

He needs to learn good/acceptable social behaviors but instead he learned that he can get what he wants by having a tantrum in public and mom/dad will do whatever it takes to keep him quiet.

He won't remember anything else other than, that tactic works and why change your behavior if it's working for you...

its crazy that I personally see this happen almost every day. Last week I heard some lady tell her daughter in the store....daughter is screaming I want this at top of lungs mom says if you stop screaming I will buy you both. I just wanted to smack that mom and tell the child sorry you can't have either one, you didn't earn it...........but I just gave a funny glare and walked on.........

[daycare]

BC looks like we have this as a double post...want to merge it?? I'll let you do it...

I wanted to add that parents really dont understand now how much damage they are doing when they do that. TRUST me. I have a 15 year old daughter who has daddy wrapped around every finger.........