How Long Can DCK Play In Superyard?

[Unregistered]

Reg but logged out.

I am having a tough day. I'm exhausted and feeling very impatient, tired, over worked, under paid, and frustrated.

Dck is demanding 1:1 attention, which I can't give all day, so they are screaming in protest. She also screams any time I turn my back, which is a lot.

Due to all the screaming, I put dck in a superyard with a bunch of toys, a blanket, and some soft stuffed animals, and I shut the door to get a break. (I have a vid monitor on so I can monitor safety).

Does this make me a bad provider? I'm feeling guilty for putting her in there and closing the door, but I really needed a break from the screaming. She flipped out for about 5 minutes, and she's now playing happier than she has been all day. I went in to get her, and she flipped out again, so I walked away and closed the door, 5 more mins of screaming, then she played happily. If she's happy playing there, how long can I leave her to play without letting it be too long?

Dcm is a crawler over the age of 1, but not walking

[countrymom]

we all have our days trust me. If she's content in the play yard then leave her be. I would leave the door open. Sometimes kids just need to be alone too !

[Heidi]

Do you have a pretty loud group? Is your environment what one would call "stimulating"?

Maybe it's just a little too much for her. This would explain the clinginess and her being overwhelmed. What do you think?

How long has she been in your group? Has she been this way from the beginning?

[Cradle2crayons]

I agree with pp. it could be the little one is just getting over stimulated and when you out them in the quiet room, it helped.

If the little one is content and playing, I see NOTHING wrong with it. But, even with video monitor, I would leave the door open also.

I agree sometimes kids need a break from us too. And they feed off of our frustrations.

[My3cents]

we all have our days trust me. If she's content in the play yard then leave her be. I would leave the door open. Sometimes kids just need to be alone too !

I would have wrote just this....... open the door and if she is content let her play.

[Unregistered]

I once had a dcg who screamed from the moment she got dropped off til she got picked up unless napping. She wanted constant attention because that's what she got at home. If mom didn't hold her all day, dad or grandma or grandpa or auntie did.

I couldn't do it. So I got the play yard out and stuck it in a bedroom and let the baby cry there. It was SAFER for me to do that than to get to a point I would go crazy. Sometimes, a little separation is good for both provider and dck and it's very healthy to take a break from each other, especially if you're at your wit's end. As long as she was in a safe secure place, I say it is a GREAT thing that you did. Honestly I say as long as baby is dry, happy, and enjoying herself, I'd let her be :-)

[Play Care]

My state regs say a child who is not sleeping can only be in a PNP for up to a 30 minutes. We are never to shut children off in another room, even with monitors.
I get needing and taking a break, but I would probably have put her in the PNP away from the group but still in sight - I have a spot around a corner for this purpose as it gives children some visual separation from each other but still keeps me in regulation.

If this was an everyday thing (child screaming/caring on) I would demand the parents get medical documentation that the child was medically sound - and even then I might not keep the child on. But I wouldn't feel right keeping a screaming child only to separate them room by themselves on a daily basis.

[BumbleBee]

No it doesn't make you a bad provider. *hugs*

[Scout]

can I go in a play yard by myself??::

[Unregistered]

She's been here for a month. She's getting better, but I feel like it's a rough transition. I do have a very loud bunch, and she came from a much smaller, quieter ratio. I am also frustrated because she will literally rip my clothes off clinging to me, with tears and snot rubbing all over my neck and clothes if I try to hold her, or if I put her down and try to rub her head or back, she will scream and cry in my face.

She isnt miserable all day. When she gets involved playing, she can be happy. But if I turn my back to her for one second, all he** breaks loose. And she has one of those high pitched, escalating shrilly screaming cries. You know what I mean, the migrane inducing ones.

I am going to keep her, so I have to find a solution that works for everyone. I am thinking that the play yard is a good idea for now, then I can get her comfortable in the room, then the rest of the house. (I do daycare all over my entire house. I cant stand to be confined in one room). I needed to know what others thought about the play yard usage, because it saved my sanity today, and she eventually calmed down and was happy, which was good.

[Unregistered]

My state regs say a child who is not sleeping can only be in a PNP for up to a 30 minutes. We are never to shut children off in another room, even with monitors.
I get needing and taking a break, but I would probably have put her in the PNP away from the group but still in sight - I have a spot around a corner for this purpose as it gives children some visual separation from each other but still keeps me in regulation.

If this was an everyday thing (child screaming/caring on) I would demand the parents get medical documentation that the child was medically sound - and even then I might not keep the child on. But I wouldn't feel right keeping a screaming child only to separate them room by themselves on a daily basis.

She isnt in a pnp it's a play yard, so it's a much larger play space. Also, I only closed the door at first, because I needed a break from hearing the screaming, literally needed, because I was feeling physically ill from all of her crying today.

[Blackcat31]

She isnt in a pnp it's a play yard, so it's a much larger play space. Also, I only closed the door at first, because I needed a break from hearing the screaming, literally needed, because I was feeling physically ill from all of her crying today.

Children at that age also really do think "out of sight, out of mind" so that is probably why she calmed down once the door was shut and she could no longer see you.



fwiw~ We ALL have days like that.

You do what you have to do first and foremost to keep the child safe, then next do what it takes to keep your sanity.

Hoping tomorrow is better for both of you.

[Heidi]

She isnt in a pnp it's a play yard, so it's a much larger play space. Also, I only closed the door at first, because I needed a break from hearing the screaming, literally needed, because I was feeling physically ill from all of her crying today.

Well, if I remember my "shaken baby prevention" training correctly, you are doing exactly what you are supposed to do if you are overwhelmed with her crying.

I think as a short term solution, with the idea of gradually bringing her back to the group, it seems reasonable. She should really not be "confined" for more than 20 minutes (unless confined for a purpose, like sleeping or eating/highchair) at a time.

When you take her into the playpen, be sure to make it a positive rather than a negative. Something like "I can see that you are overwhelmed. I'm going to take you to the quiet room for a little while so that you can calm down". When you put her in, say "I will be in the next room, and will come check on you in a little while". That is a different experience for her than "ugh..you are driving me bonkers. I just need to get rid of you right now".

My now 23 year old would sometimes meltdown at about that age. He'd outgrown the morning nap, but sometimes, he'd just get overwhelmed (and I only had one other child to care for). I'd put him in his crib, and he'd fuss a bit, then soon I'd hear him playing and babbling. After about 15 minutes, I'd go in and say "are you ready to come back and play with us?". He'd smile, which meant "yes" to me, and then we'd move on.

As for out-of-sight-out-of-mind, the problem right now is she has learned object permanence. What is out of sight DOES still exist, and she doesn't understand why, oh why, she can't have it all the time. Playing games like Peek-a-boo is supposed to help her understand that people "come back". You can try it.

Once your out of the room for a time, however, her short attention span makes her "forget" she's mad you're gone.

[jenn]

I think what you did is fine. As long as her basic needs are met (clean diaper, full tummy), she is in a safe area (play yard), and she is being supervised (video monitor), I don't see anything wrong with it.

I have a non stop screamer. No matter what you do, he screams. He has a few minutes to hours in the am that he is happy, and then as soon as something happens (he just learned to sit and falls over, he scoots himself into a spot he can't get out of,...)he freaks out and never recovers. Sometimes I need a break from him, and sometimes the other kids need a break from him. I feel like as long as I know he is safe and being well supervised from his play yard (not a play pen), he is fine. I have him in another room where I can visually check on him without him seeing me.

I would also say that in my case, if he doesn't improve within a certain amount of time, he will be leaving. It's not fair to me or the other kids to have to listen to that all day.

[Blackcat31]

Dcm is a crawler over the age of 1, but not walking

As for out-of-sight-out-of-mind, the problem right now is she has learned object permanence. What is out of sight DOES still exist, and she doesn't understand why, oh why, she can't have it all the time.

I'm seeing this a bit differently

According to Piaget's theory of cognitive development, infants learn object permanence by the end of the sensorimotor stage (near age 2) but their perception/understanding of the world, including object permanence is DIRECTLY related to their motor development which is required for the child to link visual, tactile and motor representations of objects

This child is not walking yet at age 12 months so I think the lack of understanding object permanence IS the issue in this situation.

...she hasn't been with the provider long enough to have bonded and coupled with her anxiety about separation or the provider being out of sight is why she is so clingy and whiney....imho.