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Would you terminate a five year old boy that argues with everything. Can't figure out why he can't jump on the couch, or why he shouldn't get in the kids faces. Everything I SEE him do he lies and says he didn't do it. He constantly says he is going to call the cops on me when I follow through with a consequence to his actions. I'm exhausted.
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Going on five weeks. She basically says that he is the same with her. But since he is an only hold I feel like he gets away with everything he does at home. One day she apologetically told me she really appreciates me. From conversations I think he has had quite a few daycare providers. This is the same boy that is very handsy with my one year old. Then when I do separate him or make him miss out on an activity he says I am making him sit for no reason.Comment
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He is also is always touching sticking his tongue out at other children or grabbing things from them. And again will say he didn't do it when I see him doing it. Yesterday we were on bikes and he purposely kept running into the other kids. He's not overtly mean, but it seems he's not happy unless he is irritating the hell out of someone.Comment
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Pick up the phone and fake-call the cops yourself. Tell "them"
that your dck is lying to you and bothering the other kids. Tell him bothering the other kids is illegal and since he is so quick to want to call the cops for having to have a consequence, you'll be happy to call them FOR him and tell them the truth of what's going on. Then act as if the cop on the other line is giving him "one last chance to shape up" (So what I did was "Really? I don't want to give him one last chance. He doesn't want to behave and so I think really we should just have you come over" ) Then the kid is "I'll behave" and had no other problems with the particular child I did it on. A week later we ran into a cop at a school (He was there for a pre-k program---I TOOK ADVANTAGE OF THIS). He gave the kids stickers and I said "Wait, IDK if they've behaved enough. can you tell them what bad behavior gets them?" And I let him talk. 
Worked like a charm. LOL Never got threatened with calling cops again from those kids!
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Bye-Bye kid. If you can afford it, it's not worth the stress.Comment
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unless the mom is willing to start giving out huge consequences for behavior at home, I would terminate. If mom is willing to work with you, I would set it up as if he misbehaves he gets no evening privileges, dinner, bath, bed. If he is ok then normal privileges. She can sweeten the pot by if he is excellent he gets an extra privilege- stay up an extra 10 min, play a game with her, an extra story.. not a boughten treat but an extra with mom. A few days/ weeks of this and he should comply. I would if possible, I know this kid is your biggest pain right now but come up with little special things for him to do. "Sam, can you sit here and cut these strips of paper into squares for me for our craft. " (then let everyone glue them to a piece of paper) "Sam, can you help me by holding the door for the others" "Sam, Amy dropped her toy can you pick it up and put it in the sink for me." If he feels that helping is good he may calm down for you. Just redirecting him to play may not be enough. I would make up several baskets of busy work and rotate him at the table. Then when you go outside be sure to run the daylights out of him!! "Sam, your such a big boy! How many times can you run around the outside of the yard? Sam, can you run get that ball for me. How far do you think I can throw it.. oops that wasn't very good, can you get it for me again so I can retry"
I would not pretend call the cops because I never set them up as the bad guys. Police officers are our friends, they keep us safe. That is what I would probably explain to him. We don't threaten people with calling the police, they are busy working to help people that really need it. If you have a police friend you could have him stop by and do a visit with the kids.Comment
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I did this once with my daughter when she was little. She kept trying to undo her car seat and I told her it was illegal (which was true) and that the cops would stop us and take us to jail. Then about a week later we were eating at a restaurant and there were three local cops at a booth. My daughter started crying saying they had come to get her for trying to unbuckle. I went with it. Explained it to one of the cops, and they had a mini lecture on how important it was to be safe in a car seat. She never messed with the car seat again.Pick up the phone and fake-call the cops yourself. Tell "them" that your dck is lying to you and bothering the other kids. Tell him bothering the other kids is illegal and since he is so quick to want to call the cops for having to have a consequence, you'll be happy to call them FOR him and tell them the truth of what's going on. Then act as if the cop on the other line is giving him "one last chance to shape up" (So what I did was "Really? I don't want to give him one last chance. He doesn't want to behave and so I think really we should just have you come over" ) Then the kid is "I'll behave" and had no other problems with the particular child I did it on. A week later we ran into a cop at a school (He was there for a pre-k program---I TOOK ADVANTAGE OF THIS). He gave the kids stickers and I said "Wait, IDK if they've behaved enough. can you tell them what bad behavior gets them?" And I let him talk. Worked like a charm. LOL Never got threatened with calling cops again from those kids!Comment
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Are my expectations too much for a five year old? I have four kids of my own, as well as four daycare kids. I've never met a kid this age who thinks he should be able to so whatever he wants. Which is another thing he constantly says 'my mom lets me do whatever I want' or 'my grandma never punishes me'. I of course said 'you know asking you not to throw the rice is not punishing you'Comment
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No, your expectations are not too much. Actually they may not be enough. But you can't be the only one trying to change the behavior. With that said, my kids here know the rules and follow them. If they don't, they get consequences. However, at home, they run wild. Kids are smart. They understand rules can be different in different places.
While its ideal to get mom on board at home, it's not always possible to do that. But that doesn't mean you don't get on board with him yourself.
I think it's a cop out to say because a kid gets away with everything at home, they can't mind at daycare.Comment
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He once again gave me the run down on how all four of his last sitters were better than me.... Ugggh. Five o'clock get here soon!Comment
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Well today for instance he had to miss out on a movie during rest time since he keeps arguing with me.
I feel like I am getting ****ed into arguing with him which is why I've tried to cut way back on giving him multiple chances. In general I can deal with kids not following the rules (meaning it doesn't stress me out). But it's more so that he will argue with me on anything he is doing wrong and won't admit that he has even done anything or broken a rule. Like today he kept covering his ears and ignoring me when I was talking to him.
I'm open to all suggestions!Comment
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Also he has gotten into trouble for telling other kids not to listen to me when I am asking them to do something. What do you do when a kid would literally be spending all day in time out, or missing out on any activity?
I asked him today (he's actually sleeping) what happens when his mom asks him not to do things. He said he is very sneaky and does it when she isn't looking....Comment
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