DCM Spying At Door?

[daycarediva]

I do apologize to you if you felt my post, which was meant to be given as advice, not criticism, was offensive. I have just heard many horror stories about toilets and toddlers and it scares me.

As for Mom, I'd just ask her upfront if there was a problem, as she seemed "rushed" when she picked up.

I was NOT jumping all over the OP. I said, if *I* was the DCP, that would have been a concern for me. NOT a very stern "NO" to my child.

I have toilet locks on my toilet, and a lock on the bathroom door (they are handle locks, so even the youngest child can easily open it. I do all of that, and my kids are all 2+ and MOST are toilet trained. It's just an easily fixable risk.

OP assumed it was because of her reaction to dcg in the toilet, I was simply pointing out that the reaction could have been from the fact that the dcg was in the toilet at all.

We all have chaotic moments, more than one child crying, that kind of thing, but the toilet was a serious lapse in safety that should be addressed so it doesn't happen again.

[DaycareMom2012]

My 14 mo DS is in the habit of playing in the toilet AND climbing on the toilet to the sink during dc hours and after, does that make me a bad parent?! NO. It's bc he is big enough and smart enough to open the door himself. Kids get out of eyesight of providers AND parents all the time. Doesn't mean they aren't doing what they can, kids are sneaky little things.
I don't think it was wrong at all to give her a firm NO. I smack my DS's hand so I definitely would've given her a very firm no as well. The mom could've had that face on bc you caught her spying at the door and was shocked and/or embarrassed you caught her. Or she could've just been mad at what you did, but oh well. Her kid doesn't need to be playing in the toilet it's gross and not safe. If you feel the need to explain, I would just let her know on certain situations you need up be stern with the kids to get them to understand you are serious when it comes to certain things especially when it comes to safety.

[originalkat]

I read the OP's post as this wasn't necessarily anything that was normal but that at THAT particular moment " all hell had broken loose" at her house.

.....it was late...everyone was tired/cranky/done for the day....
.... one kid had diarrhea
.....a couple kids were crying at the same time
.....everyone was needing something and she is only one person.

It also happened in the evening and not during the day when I am sure things are more structured....

Sounds me like she simply had a TON going on at the moment.

From her previous posts, she doesn't sound like someone who isn't "on her game" at all times so I am sure having the toilet accessible to the child isn't a regular occurrence.

Good Point. We have all had those moments when things are CRAZY and I dont think anyone would want a parent walking in at that moment.

[Lefse&Kids]

I wasn't offended or put off by anyone's comments. The other perspective about the toilet from a dcp is valid. My bathroom doors are closed off normally. Like I said it all lined up for a perfect moment of chaos.

The dcg wasn't playing in the toilet for any length of time. I heard a splash and reacted. I don't let them do that, its disgusting on top of dangerous.

[daycare]

one thing that I have learned is to STOP assuming. You have no clue what DCM is really thinking, unless she told you.

I would have talked to her right then and there about the whole thing.

I would have addressed the situation that occurred and answered any of DCM concerns at that time.

I would have also told her right then and there, can you please be sure to knock on the door and wait for me to answer it. Normally it is locked, but looks like it was accidentally left unlocked.

[mom2many]

one thing that I have learned is to STOP assuming. You have no clue what DCM is really thinking, unless she told you.

I would have talked to her right then and there about the whole thing.

I would have addressed the situation that occurred and answered any of DCM concerns at that time.

I would have also told her right then and there, can you please be sure to knock on the door and wait for me to answer it. Normally it is locked, but looks like it was accidentally left unlocked.

[Crystal]

I wasn't offended or put off by anyone's comments. The other perspective about the toilet from a dcp is valid. My bathroom doors are closed off normally. Like I said it all lined up for a perfect moment of chaos.

The dcg wasn't playing in the toilet for any length of time. I heard a splash and reacted. I don't let them do that, its disgusting on top of dangerous.

Thank you. I am glad you were not offended, as it was not my intent at all!!!
I can see how it "all lined up for a perfect chaos" I am sure we have ALL had that happen at one time or another!

Relax and don't worry about DCM, I am sure she is fine and will get over the shock of hearing her child being told no!

[Crystal]

I just LOVE it when the OP of a thread is completely understanding and fine with a response, yet other posters feel the need to jump in and "defend" them when there was no reason to and it had nothing to do with them in the first place.

[Blackcat31]

I just LOVE it when the OP of a thread is completely understanding and fine with a response, yet other posters feel the need to jump in and "defend" them when there was no reason to and it had nothing to do with them in the first place.

I assume this is directed towards me since I am the one who first mentioned a different perspective/interpretation of the situation.

I think whenever a poster starts a thread about a situation she IS asking for other comments, suggestions and ideas.....which makes it everyone's business...or least those that reply.

I also did not personally say you or daycarediva did or said anything wrong, offensive or insulting.....I totally understand where you were both coming from but I was still compelled to share my perspective....which was in NO way jumping on you or anyone else.

It's awesome that the OP wasn't offended by any of the comments, and your response to her was also fitting....it was this last comment (the one I quoted) that I now see as offensive.....

....and the kinds of comments that start drama kwim?

FWIW~ This is in NO way personal...you KNOW I lovethis you, but again I just had to add my response ....especially since that is what we are here for......everyone else's 2 cents.... right?

[EntropyControlSpecialist]

Yes! I've had had multiple DCDs who peer into the front window before they knock. Like with their hands around their eyes to shade them for long minutes peering in my window. Personally I think it's very rude behavior. I can not think they would act like that at a friend's house. It got to the point that before a certain DCD came I'd close those blinds even though I had them open during the day to let in sun.

I don't think you did anything wrong at all. The DCM was in the wrong for looking in like that. Ask her if she needs to talk about it like Blackcat said and then lock your door after this and move on.

Ditto. Except, I don't have blinds on my decorative door window so I bought the window frosting paint and frosted it. You should have seen them trying to stare in the window after that LOL! It was hilarious. I could see them through my front window by my stairs (that has blinds yet they can't see through). Do you have an alarm that beeps when the door gets opened? I would look into that.

I agree with BlackCat.

[Lefse&Kids]

I think I will be looking at getting an alarm for the door. Not only would it remedy that, it will let me know ANY time the door opens (my stepson frequently forgets to lock doors when he uses them-the older kiddos figured this out and tail behind him trying to "get free") Oh no, they can only play in the 1/2 acre back yard! What torture.. its cute, kind of, to watch their futile attempts.

Why is it that kids pine only for the things not allowed anyway? My front yard is pint sized unfenced, while by back yard is huge and fenced. Yet the front is what they whine for. oh well... ah wait, unfenced, that's why

btw, I love getting all responses, opinions and perspectives. Yes, that is why I post, if I didn't want input, I would just complain to my husband (who would respond, "eh")

[TheGoodLife]

I think I will be looking at getting an alarm for the door. Not only would it remedy that, it will let me know ANY time the door opens (my stepson frequently forgets to lock doors when he uses them-the older kiddos figured this out and tail behind him trying to "get free") Oh no, they can only play in the 1/2 acre back yard! What torture.. its cute, kind of, to watch their futile attempts.

Why is it that kids pine only for the things not allowed anyway? My front yard is pint sized unfenced, while by back yard is huge and fenced. Yet the front is what they whine for. oh well... ah wait, unfenced, that's why

btw, I love getting all responses, opinions and perspectives. Yes, that is why I post, if I didn't want input, I would just complain to my husband (who would respond, "eh")

What a great attitude! I agree that's the purpose of posting questions/ asking advice.

[Crystal]

I assume this is directed towards me since I am the one who first mentioned a different perspective/interpretation of the situation.

I think whenever a poster starts a thread about a situation she IS asking for other comments, suggestions and ideas.....which makes it everyone's business...or least those that reply.

I also did not personally say you or daycarediva did or said anything wrong, offensive or insulting.....I totally understand where you were both coming from but I was still compelled to share my perspective....which was in NO way jumping on you or anyone else.

It's awesome that the OP wasn't offended by any of the comments, and your response to her was also fitting....it was this last comment (the one I quoted) that I now see as offensive.....

....and the kinds of comments that start drama kwim?

FWIW~ This is in NO way personal...you KNOW I lovethis you, but again I just had to add my response ....especially since that is what we are here for......everyone else's 2 cents.... right?

Nah...not you. You didn't accuse me of jumping all over her.

You know I love ya too. :hug:

[Blackcat31]

Nah...not you. You didn't accuse me of jumping all over her.

You know I love ya too. :hug:

Thank you! :hug:

Just wanted to make sure/clarify.

[My3cents]

I read the OP's post as this wasn't necessarily anything that was normal but that at THAT particular moment " all hell had broken loose" at her house.

.....it was late...everyone was tired/cranky/done for the day....
.... one kid had diarrhea
.....a couple kids were crying at the same time
.....everyone was needing something and she is only one person.

It also happened in the evening and not during the day when I am sure things are more structured....

Sounds me like she simply had a TON going on at the moment.

From her previous posts, she doesn't sound like someone who isn't "on her game" at all times so I am sure having the toilet accessible to the child isn't a regular occurrence.

this.....