I'm a softie/vent

[Kym2098]

I have a DCG who has parents who are separated (never married).
I have DCG 2x a week (mon - tue)
Dad has her Wed.
This is the 2nd week Dad has asked me to take her on his day. This may not seem like an issue to most of you, but I watch 3 kids on Tue. And I'm drained by the end of the day and at my wits end ! So to have all 3 again is something I don't look forward to.

The only reason I have agreed to take DCG on Wed. Is because I feel bad for Mom and don't want her to lose her job. Mom is happy I have her because I provide great care for her daughter.

I told mom this morning that I'm not comfortable with this situation and she said she would talk to the Dad.

How do you all handle situations like this? :confused:

My vent is DCG was away this weekend in CO. And arrived home 4am this morning!!!!!! So she's going to be a nightmare!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

[EntropyControlSpecialist]

Are they paying for full-time care?

Do you do contracted hours/days? If so, I would state that you are unable to accommodate that request as she is only contracted for Mondays and Tuesdays.

[Blackcat31]

So DCD is suppose to be spending the day WITH the girl on Wednesdays?

I guess I am not understanding why he is asking you to take her Wednesdays if that isn't one of your regular days....

Why would mom lose her job over it?

If the child is cranky and can't manage the day, I wouldn't hesitate to send her home. It isn't YOUR responsibility to make up for the parents bad choices or lack of schedule...coming home at 4 am?!

Who had her in CO?

[Lefse&Kids]

I'm a softie too. I love the kiddos too much and care about the parents too much. It is such a fine balance of being caring and then being business. It is hard not to get the two intermingled too much but it happens. I want people to know I care but keep my empathy professional.

I worked in a bank where the clients would tell you relationship stuff (tmi stuff) and then at a call center where I talked to people daily who cried on the phone with the details of their loved one with the "big C" (either recovered or currently in hospital). After all that, I've learned professional empathy and can do it pretty well now.

My trick is to do the steps I was taught in those jobs....

1. acknowledge the pain/hardship
2. make sure bad news is VERY SHORT & to the point only and then quickly...
3. end with what you CAN do - end your talk on the positive - give them two options max

Hope this helps

[Kym2098]

Thanks everyone.
I guess if I don't want to watch on her un-contracted day I need to grow a backbone!

Mom had in CO for a wedding (I'm in NJ, btw). We had some storms yesterday which caused airport delays.

DCD doesn't want to hold up to his responsibilities and when he feels like sticking it to mom, he won't answer texts or tell her he isn't taking DCG.
They pay for contracted days. Actually as part of the court ordered agreement Dad pays. (Has paid on time no issues) but he's also supposed to take DCG on Wed. Court ordered too.

Mom is a dog groomer and specified last week if she misses any more work she could get fired, so of course I feel guilty! (This is because Dad doesn't take DCG when he's supposed to.)

On one hand it's extra $ but my sanity is so much more important to me.

He's already asked me if I can take DCG 2 extra Wed. This month again!!!!
Ugh!!!!!!!!!!! I want to be flexible but not taken advantage of either!

I feel like I just need to **** it up... Sigh

[TheGoodLife]

My trick is to do the steps I was taught in those jobs....

1. acknowledge the pain/hardship
2. make sure bad news is VERY SHORT & to the point only and then quickly...
3. end with what you CAN do - end your talk on the positive - give them two options max

Hope this helps