Ever Get Tired of Being the Nice One?

[newtodaycare22]

I'm open until 5 and one of my dck's parents usually gets off by then...but sometimes she can work til 6 or 7. Grandma used to be the back up but that recently changed and now she hired a stay at home mom to come pick up her daughter from my house, and watch her for a few hours. The lady tried to convince her to that she'd take her all day, for less money than I charge (where I am a licensed daycare making a living and she's a stay at home mom of 4 girls, looking to make extra cash). The parent politely declined and said she was happy with me and was willing to pay the extra money (did I mention I love this mom haha).

Anyway, she started picking her up on Monday. She comes by after picking up her oldest from school, with 4 little girls already in the car. I had the kid all ready with shoes on and we met the lady at the door ( she left the kids in the car... I didnt' want her to have to wait). I was very friendly and said hi nice to meet you bla bla bla....she mumbled something under her breath and did not look excited to be there. Ok, whatever...

Tuesday I tried to still be the bigger person and was very polite again. I even said to her, "By the way, I have her get ready a few minutes before you come. I'd hate for you to leave your little ones in the car longer than you have to". She said, "Oh thanks i appreciate it".

Then, I find out she goes to the girls' mom that evening and told her I "had her ready at the door to throw out" and talked all this nonsense about how I didn't seem to want her there. Really? Ugh some people. Forget the politeness. I'll give her the sign out sheet and close the door!

[laundryduchess@yahoo.com]

Me being the crazy person I am would say,.." hey I know we just met, but have I done something to offend you? Sallys mom told me what you said,.. and for the life of me I cant understand why you would say things that arent true. I didnt shove her out the door,.I was thinking of you and your little ones..... and I dont know why you think you have to be unfriendly to me. ,.......If I have offended lets get through it, sally doesnt need to feel the tension between us. So,... have I done something or are you just constipated and grouchy?"

When she catches her breath because of shear embarrasment,... and knows that now you KNOW shes like that,... I would be really anxious to hear her excuse,.. I wouldnt have any of it, you owe her nothing,.. shes angry that she didnt get to undercut you and scam your income. Call her on it,... dont feel guilty, upset, or defensive,.. just point blank ask her what is her attitude issue?

YOU are the professional.

[momofsix]

Me being the crazy person I am would say,.." hey I know we just met, but have I done something to offend you? Sallys mom told me what you said,.. and for the life of me I cant understand why you would say things that arent true. I didnt shove her out the door,.I was thinking of you and your little ones..... and I dont know why you think you have to be unfriendly to me. ,.......If I have offended lets get through it, sally doesnt need to feel the tension between us. So,... have I done something or are you just constipated and grouchy?"

When she catches her breath because of shear embarrasment,... and knows that now you KNOW shes like that,... I would be really anxious to hear her excuse,.. I wouldnt have any of it, you owe her nothing,.. shes angry that she didnt get to undercut you and scam your income. Call her on it,... dont feel guilty, upset, or defensive,.. just point blank ask her what is her attitude issue?

YOU are the professional.

I would love to hear her response to this! If you don't think you've got the backbone to confront, just remember we're all here to back you up!

[safechner]

Me being the crazy person I am would say,.." hey I know we just met, but have I done something to offend you? Sallys mom told me what you said,.. and for the life of me I cant understand why you would say things that arent true. I didnt shove her out the door,.I was thinking of you and your little ones..... and I dont know why you think you have to be unfriendly to me. ,.......If I have offended lets get through it, sally doesnt need to feel the tension between us. So,... have I done something or are you just constipated and grouchy?"

When she catches her breath because of shear embarrasment,... and knows that now you KNOW shes like that,... I would be really anxious to hear her excuse,.. I wouldnt have any of it, you owe her nothing,.. shes angry that she didnt get to undercut you and scam your income. Call her on it,... dont feel guilty, upset, or defensive,.. just point blank ask her what is her attitude issue?

YOU are the professional.

I must say I totally agree with you!!!

[missnikki]

It's not everyday we get the opportunity to confront our smacktalkers like that. I hope you go for it.

[newtodaycare22]

You know...I would love to confront her. But, I feel like that'd be putting the parent out there. She would have to know that the parent told me about what she said. Maybe I'll wait for an opportunity when she gives me an attitude again and take the chance then. It's even more obnoxious that she actually said thank you and put on a front like she was fine! I thought maybe the first day she was just having a bad day. AY ay ay!

[MyAngels]

You know...I would love to confront her. But, I feel like that'd be putting the parent out there.

I agree with you, I would not directly confront her with the information the parent gave you. I would probably be inclined to kill the other lady with kindness - though I'm not sure I'd continue to have your dcg ready and waiting, given her comment. I would also be proactive in keeping the lines of communication open with your dcm (it sounds like you have a good situation there anyway), and reassure her that should she have any concerns you would love to talk about them.

[MommyMuffin]

How did you find out the things she said to the mom?
The mother is your client, not the SAHM so I would call the mom and tell her what happened, and why you got her child ready so fast and ask for clarification on what she would like to happen, (not to say you will agree) but if she knows your side of the story the truth about the SAHM will just come out all on its own. It sounds to me like she is mad at you for being such a good provider and that she couldnt make a few more bucks off the situation.

[melskids]

now me.....i'm spiteful. and a tad passive-aggressive.

wait until about ten minutes before this chick is supposed to show up, and pull out little sally's absolute favorite toy. get her REALLY involved in it. so totally engrossed that she simply can't step away from it. (fingerpainting anyone?)

invite bigmouth in and encourage her to get sally ready to go.

sit back and watch

[laundryduchess@yahoo.com]

mels kids!!!! LOVE IT!!!!!

[professionalmom]

now me.....i'm spiteful. and a tad passive-aggressive.

wait until about ten minutes before this chick is supposed to show up, and pull out little sally's absolute favorite toy. get her REALLY involved in it. so totally engrossed that she simply can't step away from it. (fingerpainting anyone?)

invite bigmouth in and encourage her to get sally ready to go.

sit back and watch

I love it! Almost perfect. But she could also say (with a HUGE grin on her face), "Oh, Sally is so involved in (fingerpainting), why don't we give her another minute or two before you get her ready to go." Then go straight into what laundryduchess suggested. Then this SAHM can be embarrassed for an extended period of time while she is trying to get Sally ready to go. But OP better NOT do this UNLESS she has a camera going. I would really want to see SAHM's reaction. Plus, if SAHM lies to DCM again, then OP has proof of what happened.

[MarinaVanessa]

So,... have I done something or are you just constipated and grouchy?"

:: I laughed so hard I think I pee'd my pants. I love this response and would be something I'd love to say but MelsKids suggestion would also work . Maybe you can try MelsKids option first and see if she said anything else smart-alecky and then try Laundry's option 2nd.

[newtodaycare22]

hahahaha love it. I'm still getting her ready to go. I don't do that usually with parents unless they are picking up kids at the very last minute. However, with attitude..I'm surely not inviting her in to see my house and daycare.Like you guys said, she's not my client-the mom is. And mom is happy.

Thanks for all your comments...you guys make me laugh!

[Preschool/daycare teacher]

hahahaha love it. I'm still getting her ready to go. I don't do that usually with parents unless they are picking up kids at the very last minute. However, with attitude..I'm surely not inviting her in to see my house and daycare.Like you guys said, she's not my client-the mom is. And mom is happy.

Thanks for all your comments...you guys make me laugh!

The mom is happy...but SAHM seems to want to cause trouble between you. You are going to have to have VERY good communication with mom, or this SAHM is going to do her best to get the dcg for herself by making mom think you're not as good as she thought originally. I would be steaming for someone to come in and do that!
I was also thinking you should do what Melskids said to do! Get her involved with her favorite activity and let SAHM get her ready, while her kids wait in the car. Then kindly mention that you got the impression that she didn't like it when you had dcg ready to go, so you thought you better let her do it. Don't tell her that the mom told you what she said, though! Get yourself busy with the other kids...