So Irritated With DCM and Her "Expertise"!

[melilley]

I have a dcm who just received her BA in elementary education with an emphasis on special education. She just finished student teaching in a couple of different special education classrooms (she said one teacher wouldn't have her in his class anymore-which is weird to me so she had to switch schools) and I swear she thinks that her child has every disorder in the world and it's driving me nuts! Her son is 2.5 years old and is smart as a whip, one of the smartest 2.5 year old children that I have come across in my years of teaching and caring for children! This mom really works with her child, constantly in academic mode which shows by how smart he is, but I feel that this child has not time to just be a kid and play-well here he get to

Well yesterday she comes to get her 2 kids (I have her 10 mo. old son also) and the 2.5 year old starts to throw a fit because he didn't want to leave-he was having fun with my niece who is visiting and he didn't want to leave so she takes him out to the car to let him throw his fit and then comes back in to nurse her son (which she does every day that she picks up even if he has just eaten and sticks around for at least 15 minutes..and they only live 10 minutes away, and she also says she nurses every 2 hours at night-no wonder her son is always tired here, sorry off subject) and tells me that throwing the fit is not acceptable. Then she proceeds to tell me that she is going to bring a paper for me to fill out because she is going to see if her son (the 2.5) year old is autistic. I couldn't believe it! Every time he throws a fit, which he only does when he has to leave, something is wrong and it's irritating. Doesn't she know that 2 year olds throw fits? She has said things in the past when he has thrown a fit and I just have to roll my eyes. You think with all her education she should know what's developmental appropriate for children. This child is developmentally where he should be and while I am not a doctor, he shows not one sign of any developmental issues! I feel that this dcm has seen children with developmental delays and learned about them and now her children have them. It's like that disease where moms make their kids sick on purpose so they have to take care of them all the time (I forget what they call that) except she wants her children to have something wrong so they are "special" if that makes sense.
Her son also has a gluten allergy and when he "gets into" gluten he gets hyper and she gives him Benadryl to calm down, and has told me this, but always ads that they didn't give him "that" much and when they started she told me I could do the same if he gets hyper. He never gets that way and Ummmm no, I won't give a child Benadryl to sedate them! He acts like a zombie when he has it and I can tell when he gets it before coming here. I just think that whenever he throws a fit or is hyper, to her it's due to gluten so it's an excuse for her to calm him down so she doesn't have to listen to him throw a fit. She also says he has restless leg syndrome, sleep apnea and he thrashes and yells in his sleep, all of this I have never seen.

I have also talked about my 21 mo. old tornado that I have here. Well this dcm has also gone so far to talk about this child and has told me different things that this child could have and has even given me a pamphlet to give to his parents on an organization that they can contact to see what is wrong with him! Give me a break! He does have a delay in talking, but other than that, he is where he should be, he is just a rambunctious little guy and wears me out, but some children have that personality.

Sorry I am ranting and this is so long, but I'm just so irritated with her. Her son is a smarty pants and everything he does, including the bad, is typical of his age. I just wish she could see that and stop diagnosing everyone with everything. Now I just pretend to listen to her and roll my eyes later.
Oh yeah, this is the mom who is a nanny for her friend for the summer, but is bringing her kids here while she is spending time with 3 other children.

[Cradle2crayons]

I have a dcm who just received her BA in elementary education with an emphasis on special education. She just finished student teaching in a couple of different special education classrooms (she said one teacher wouldn't have her in his class anymore-which is weird to me so she had to switch schools) and I swear she thinks that her child has every disorder in the world and it's driving me nuts! Her son is 2.5 years old and is smart as a whip, one of the smartest 2.5 year old children that I have come across in my years of teaching and caring for children! This mom really works with her child, constantly in academic mode which shows by how smart he is, but I feel that this child has not time to just be a kid and play-well here he get to

Well yesterday she comes to get her 2 kids (I have her 10 mo. old son also) and the 2.5 year old starts to throw a fit because he didn't want to leave-he was having fun with my niece who is visiting and he didn't want to leave so she takes him out to the car to let him throw his fit and then comes back in to nurse her son (which she does every day that she picks up even if he has just eaten and sticks around for at least 15 minutes..and they only live 10 minutes away, and she also says she nurses every 2 hours at night-no wonder her son is always tired here, sorry off subject) and tells me that throwing the fit is not acceptable. Then she proceeds to tell me that she is going to bring a paper for me to fill out because she is going to see if her son (the 2.5) year old is autistic. I couldn't believe it! Every time he throws a fit, which he only does when he has to leave, something is wrong and it's irritating. Doesn't she know that 2 year olds throw fits? She has said things in the past when he has thrown a fit and I just have to roll my eyes. You think with all her education she should know what's developmental appropriate for children. This child is developmentally where he should be and while I am not a doctor, he shows not one sign of any developmental issues! I feel that this dcm has seen children with developmental delays and learned about them and now her children have them. It's like that disease where moms make their kids sick on purpose so they have to take care of them all the time (I forget what they call that) except she wants her children to have something wrong so they are "special" if that makes sense.
Her son also has a gluten allergy and when he "gets into" gluten he gets hyper and she gives him Benadryl to calm down, and has told me this, but always ads that they didn't give him "that" much and when they started she told me I could do the same if he gets hyper. He never gets that way and Ummmm no, I won't give a child Benadryl to sedate them! He acts like a zombie when he has it and I can tell when he gets it before coming here. I just think that whenever he throws a fit or is hyper, to her it's due to gluten so it's an excuse for her to calm him down so she doesn't have to listen to him throw a fit. She also says he has restless leg syndrome, sleep apnea and he thrashes and yells in his sleep, all of this I have never seen.

I have also talked about my 21 mo. old tornado that I have here. Well this dcm has also gone so far to talk about this child and has told me different things that this child could have and has even given me a pamphlet to give to his parents on an organization that they can contact to see what is wrong with him! Give me a break! He does have a delay in talking, but other than that, he is where he should be, he is just a rambunctious little guy and wears me out, but some children have that personality.

Sorry I am ranting and this is so long, but I'm just so irritated with her. Her son is a smarty pants and everything he does, including the bad, is typical of his age. I just wish she could see that and stop diagnosing everyone with everything. Now I just pretend to listen to her and roll my eyes later.
Oh yeah, this is the mom who is a nanny for her friend for the summer, but is bringing her kids here while she is spending time with 3 other children.

The first alarm I see here is of course the Benadryl... Which, by the way, has side effects of restless leg syndrome, night mares, and sleep apnea. But of course, that's generally when they are given TOO MUCH benedryl. HUGE HUGE RED FLAG. This is ABUSE and could KILL HIM if she gives him too much. I'm sorry but at this point, being a mandated reporter, I'd have to be very tempted to REPORT HER for putting this child's life in danger.

[Play Care]

Honestly, I find this to be very common of recent college graduates. They have seen it all, know it all and can do it all because they have a piece of paper that says so!::

I find their earnest advice endearing. Then I pat their little heads and send them off to the real world to get eaten alive::

[MissAnn]

Gluten allergy or gluten intolerance? I never heard of Benadryl helping either. Sorry....what a pain!

[Blackcat31]

Honestly, I find this to be very common of recent college graduates. They have seen it all, know it all and can do it all because they have a piece of paper that says so!::

I find their earnest advice endearing. Then I pat their little heads and send them off to the real world to get eaten alive::

::::::
this is so true!! Every sentence starts with "Well, in my college course..." or "my professor said....." etc..... (I have one of these DCM"s too )

I don't necessarily find it endearing but I do have to chuckle a bit because just like experience alone isn't enough, education alone is also not enough.

I too, am a recent college graduate and the majority of what I actually learned/know came from the hands-on experience. The education just helped support that.

I know ALOT of "book smart" people with lots of letters behind their names and without the actual hands on experience that "smart" is only a human version of a textbook. FULL of great knowledge and information but completely useless unless actually APPLIED or used in real life.

~@Melilly I'd tell that mom "Thanks for your opinion, but I am pretty sure I have it under control." then change the subject every.single.time she tried to assess someone or "educate" you.

As far as the Benedryl goes, I didn't read anywhere that you said she was giving him more than she should or that she was over dosing him, but it is not something I would participate in at all as I don't do any type of OTC meds for the daycare kids. I know Benedryl does have some adverse effects for some kids and does actually mellow them out (in an odd lethargic kind of way) but still not a subject or territory I'd get into with her.

[SilverSabre25]

Gluten allergy or gluten intolerance? I never heard of Benadryl helping either. Sorry....what a pain!

Benadryl does NOTHING for gluten intolerance. Nope, zip zilch nada.

This woman is bats.

having a college degree doesn't make you omnicient, in fact for me, having a college degree underscored just how much about the world I DON"T know. I only have one degree...there are tons out there I don't have!

[AcornMama]

It's like that disease where moms make their kids sick on purpose so they have to take care of them all the time (I forget what they call that) except she wants her children to have something wrong so they are "special" if that makes sense. (

What you're saying makes perfect sense, even if that's not the actual case in this situation. Unfortunately, it's a trend in SOME families to diagnose children rather than parent them. I'm not saying there aren't real problems in real kids, but certainly there are parents who'd rather be told it's not their fault their kids out of control, the kid has some kind of problem. They'd rather hear that than be told to grow up and parent and discipline. And in your situation, it doesn't sound like the child is even remotely acting up (granted I'm going on little information here).

I have seven kids and I've heard so much from others (usually family members) trying to convince me of some problem with one of my kids. I think, unfortunately, those attempts were really just the family members trying to justify their parenting choices. Like dh's sister (all three of her kids are diagnosed with something, or multiple somethings) trying to convince me that my then 3yo ds had some kind of sensory deprivation disorder because he liked to sit on my lap and be snuggled and hugged. She went on to give me printouts and a sensory brush to brush him with because he obviously had some problem. Um, no, he's 3 and loves his mom. But SIL wasn't a touchy-feely kinda mom, her little ones spent their time in their own rooms with their own tv's and game systems. We were a little to no tv and games family and actually enjoyed spending time together. But we were the weird ones, apparently.:confused:

[mrsnj]

I have a friend who is like this. She gets a job in a pet supply business and a week later is filling me in on all the possible issues my dogs might be having and brings me samples to see if they work. She gets a job selling insurance and a week later she is filling me in on how my insurance is not enough and I should look into XYZ which she can get for me at a good rate. She gets a job ......... yeah. You get the idea. LOL! It drives me batty too! Advise? I got very good at "Ah ha....hummmm....ah ha.....yeah" as I absently listen and think of what I need to put on my grocery list!:: I wouldn't be filling out any paper though. Come out and tell her you do not feel there is a problem and cannot fill out something like that when there is no cause. She is a no it all and needs to hit reality before it effects her children.

[melilley]

Gluten allergy or gluten intolerance? I never heard of Benadryl helping either. Sorry....what a pain!

His doc note says allergy, but I once accidentally gave him the wrong plate...ooops... and he ate some bread and was fine all day. It's easy nowadays to just say allergy and get a not for it. I don't know why she gives him Benadryl....she probably associates Benadryl with allergic reactions so thinks it will help his gluten allergy....who knows....

[EntropyControlSpecialist]

Benadryl does NOTHING for gluten intolerance. Nope, zip zilch nada.

This woman is bats.

having a college degree doesn't make you omnicient, in fact for me, having a college degree underscored just how much about the world I DON"T know. I only have one degree...there are tons out there I don't have!

:: EVERYTHING Silver said.

If I took benedryl after eating gluten (I have Celiacs), it would just make me sleepy.

[melilley]

::::::
this is so true!! Every sentence starts with "Well, in my college course..." or "my professor said....." etc..... (I have one of these DCM"s too )

I don't necessarily find it endearing but I do have to chuckle a bit because just like experience alone isn't enough, education alone is also not enough.

I too, am a recent college graduate and the majority of what I actually learned/know came from the hands-on experience. The education just helped support that.

I know ALOT of "book smart" people with lots of letters behind their names and without the actual hands on experience that "smart" is only a human version of a textbook. FULL of great knowledge and information but completely useless unless actually APPLIED or used in real life.

~@Melilly I'd tell that mom "Thanks for your opinion, but I am pretty sure I have it under control." then change the subject every.single.time she tried to assess someone or "educate" you.

As far as the Benedryl goes, I didn't read anywhere that you said she was giving him more than she should or that she was over dosing him, but it is not something I would participate in at all as I don't do any type of OTC meds for the daycare kids. I know Benedryl does have some adverse effects for some kids and does actually mellow them out (in an odd lethargic kind of way) but still not a subject or territory I'd get into with her.

I do have to kind of chuckle to myself though. I remember when I first earned my degree I had a lot of advice for my sister...and then a couple of years later I apologized to her for telling her things to do with her own kids. Hopefully she realizes this someday. As far as the Benadryl, I don't think she is overdosing, but what she has told me disturbes me because she gives him it when he's hyper or throwing fits because of maybe getting into gluten, which, makes no sense. He does get lethargic and when they give it before he comes, I don't like it because he is kinda out of it here. She even will emphasize she didn't give him too much...who knows.

[melilley]

:: EVERYTHING Silver said.

If I took benedryl after eating gluten (I have Celiacs), it would just make me sleepy.

Benadryl does NOTHING for gluten intolerance. Nope, zip zilch nada.

This woman is bats.

having a college degree doesn't make you omnicient, in fact for me, having a college degree underscored just how much about the world I DON"T know. I only have one degree...there are tons out there I don't have!

This is what I thought! I think she just wants him to not make a fuss....ever. His brother, the 10 month old used to cry ALL the time so think she just can't handle any noise anymore and she knows what Benadryl does. But I don't get it, he rarely throws a fit here, only when he is having fun and has to go home.

[MissAnn]

If its a gluten allergy, isn't that Celiacs? If so, he would not be ok after eating bread. Is this a case of doctor saying whatever mom wants to please her?????

[mrsnj]

As a mom of an ex-wheat/barley allergic child who was on gluten free diet for years, you wouldn't have a gluten 'allergy'. A dr giving a true diagnosis wouldn't word it that way. You would have a gluten intolerance and be on a gluten free diet. A gluten 'allergy' would be listed specific as a wheat allergy...or a barley allergy ....or....well you get the idea

[Cradle2crayons]

I do have to kind of chuckle to myself though. I remember when I first earned my degree I had a lot of advice for my sister...and then a couple of years later I apologized to her for telling her things to do with her own kids. Hopefully she realizes this someday. As far as the Benadryl, I don't think she is overdosing, but what she has told me disturbes me because she gives him it when he's hyper or throwing fits because of maybe getting into gluten, which, makes no sense. He does get lethargic and when they give it before he comes, I don't like it because he is kinda out of it here. She even will emphasize she didn't give him too much...who knows.

If she's emphasizing she didn't give him too much or feels the need to be defensive about the dosage, then i hate to say, she's likely giving him way too much. Also giving benedryl for hyper or other off the wall reasons is very very dangerous.