I Don’t Want To Come Here If So ‘n’ So Isn’t Here

[mrsp'slilpeeps]

I'm so tired of these kindy kids coming here everyday, asking who will be here and if its not who they like, they freak out and scream and cry like I beat them all day.

They have all been with me for about 3 yrs, so its not like they need to adjust.

Its not just 1 or 2 kids, its all of the kids that are acting like this now.

Any ideas?? Cause I'm ready to turn around and tell them to leave if you don't like it here.

[kathiemarie]

I would say something like
Yes its a bummer when our close friends aren't here but you have 2 choices today. 1. play with your other friends and have fun or 2. don't play and a have a boring day but I will not tolerate your crying and having fits. So Sally which will it be?

If they chose to not play so be it. Let them sit a watch everyone else.

[daycare]

I agree with the above....

give them two realistic choices.

would you like to have a good time playing with ALL of your friends or would you like to sit and read all day... Please decide.

When they say anything about the other stuff, I would ignore it 100%

or I would say, sorry that person is not here today, go play or go read....

[mrsp'slilpeeps]

That is what I tell them where their parents leave. But Its at drop off time they act like this.

[wdmmom]

I never, ever tell the dck's who will be here and who won't.

"Missy, is Bobby coming today?"

"I don't know, Becky, we'll just have to wait and see!"

[daycare]

That is what I tell them where their parents leave. But Its at drop off time they act like this.

so then why not say it then, in front of the parents.....

agree with the other poster as well....we don't really know who is coming right? I mean we know who is supposed to be coming, but that does not mean they will be there. I would say exactly what she said.

[kathiemarie]

That is what I tell them where their parents leave. But Its at drop off time they act like this.

I would still say the same thing in front of the parent. Most likely the parent is having a hard time getting Sally out the door and is saying "Lets go. Janie is going to be there and you LOVE playing with her." Then Janie is not there and Sally has a melt down.

[MrsSteinel'sHouse]

I would probably grin at them when parents are there and respond to their asking who is going to be here with "that is a surprise!"

[daycare]

I found this a few days ago. was having a BFF issue....




LEVEL 0 Friendship—Momentary Playmates: "I Want It My Way" (Approximate ages: 3-6 years)

Children at this stage view friends as momentary playmates, and their friendships are all about having fun together. Their friends are kids who are conveniently nearby, and who do the same things they like to do.

Children at this stage have very limited ability to see other perspectives. They assume that other children think the same way they do, so they tend to get very upset when they find out that a playmate has a different opinion.

Children in the "I Want It My Way" stage like the idea of having friends, and they definitely have preferences for some peers over others, but they're not so good at being reliable friends. For instance, three-year-olds might say, "You're not my friend today!" if they just feel like doing something other than what their friend wants to do.

Despite the day-to-day or moment-to-moment variations in how friendly they act, preschoolers do show some continuity in their friendships. One study found that two-thirds of preschoolers who claimed each other as friends were still friends four to six months later.

LEVEL 1 Friendship—One-Way Assistance: "What's In It For Me?" (Approximate ages: 5-9 years)

At this level, children understand that friendship goes beyond whatever their current activity is, but they still think in very pragmatic terms. They define friends as children who do nice things for them—such as sharing a treat, saving them a seat on the bus, or giving them nice presents—but they don't really think about what they themselves contribute to the friendship.

Children at this level care a lot about friendship. They may even put up with a not-so-nice friend, just so they can have a friend. They also may try to use friendship as a bargaining chip, saying things like "I'll be your friend if you do this!" or "I won't be your friend if you do that!"

[Starburst]

I would still say the same thing in front of the parent. Most likely the parent is having a hard time getting Sally out the door and is saying "Lets go. Janie is going to be there and you LOVE playing with her." Then Janie is not there and Sally has a melt down.

Thats why I am thinking of putting a section in my contract about the parents not making any promises of what will happen at daycare; unless I tell them ahead of time what we will be doing or its part of their regular routine. Sure its easier for them if the kid asks "can I watch tv at daycare", "Are we having pizza for lunch", or "Will Betty be there today?" to just say "Yes" but its harder on the child (and the provider) when they realize its not true, and I think it actually creates a sense of distrust for the kids when they realize their parents don't keep their promises or lie to them.

Maybe telling parents something along the lines of: "Don't promise your kids tv all day at daycare and I won't promise them McDonalds for dinner at home" but mention that it includes what friends are there and what activities they will do. just tell them if a child asks what they are doing in daycare that day and if you are not sure, just say "its a suprise!"

[boysx5]

I have that I have one five year old and nobody his age the older ones left to do camp or parents are teachers. This is my last year of doing school agers