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I have an 18 month old DCB that cries EVERY time his Mother is the one to pick-up. His Father is usually the one who does pick-up and he is all smiles, waving, etc. But every time he sees his Mother walk through the door he throws himself backwards on the floor fussing. When she picks him up, he starts caring BIG tears and reaching for me. It doesn't seem to phase her....she shows no reaction....but it bothers me quite a bit. I have never had this before in 20+ of childcare. Anyone have any insight or advice?
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Over the years, I've had a few kids in my care who have reacted that way. Based on what I've seen, it's just that at this age, kids tend to like consistency. The kids get used to a certain pattern. For example, Mom drops off in the morning and Dad picks up in the afternoon. When mom shows up at the end of the day and the kid is expecting Dad, it really throws them off and they react the same way your 18 mo old did.
Does his reaction bother you because you suspect Mom may be abusive or is it just because you haven't seen this happen before? -
I by no means think the Mother is abusive. The feeling I get from her is more detached. Even my Hubby has noticed noticed and commented that she seems to be just going through the motions. This is a first time Mom, so I don't know if maybe it is that she just doesn't know what to do or what it is. Dad seems to be the primary caregiver. It worries me because, in my opinion, he should be happy to see his Mother, not the other way around.Comment
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Do you think it could be that, by seeing Mom, he "remembers" that she was gone and the sad feelings of being without her resurface? Or maybe he's been feeling some strong toddler emotions, and Mom is actually the person he feels quite safe with and is able to let loose and express those emotions around her.Comment
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I have an idea..
Can they tell you ahead of time who is picking up?
Then, take a snap shot of each parent, and mount them back-to-back on something. A popsicle stick or on a short string on his cubby.
Shortly before pick-up, you can then say "ok..who is picking up dcb today? Let's see...it's MOMMY! yeah! Mommy is picking up dcb today".
When it's daddy, show same thing, only show him Daddy's picture.
This way, he can be prepared ahead of time. Transitions are so hard for toddlers, and getting a warning 5 or 10 minutes ahead of time might really help him.
Of course, it's possible he might start "pitching a fit" then already...
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