The impatient child

[daycare]

We all have one or two of them.

For those of you that do table centers, activities or crafts with the kids how do you get that impatient child to learn to wait?

This is one of many situations that occur with my impatient child....

For example, we were making little volcano's (ages 3-5) I was leading them in placing the supplies of baking soda and vinegar to create the eruption.
About 95% of this project was child lead and the kids got to make it as the wish.

Well my impatient child that never waits got a hold of the picture of vinegar and dumped it out while I had my back turned handing out the baking soda. This child is 4.5 years old. So now we can't do the project because he dumped it all.

The above example is what happens probably 4 out of 5 times.

I try to tell the kids, always ask before you touch. But this means nothing to this child...

HELP what can I do to help this child??

[Cradle2crayons]

We all have one or two of them.

For those of you that do table centers, activities or crafts with the kids how do you get that impatient child to learn to wait?

This is one of many situations that occur with my impatient child....

For example, we were making little volcano's (ages 3-5) I was leading them in placing the supplies of baking soda and vinegar to create the eruption.
About 95% of this project was child lead and the kids got to make it as the wish.

Well my impatient child that never waits got a hold of the picture of vinegar and dumped it out while I had my back turned handing out the baking soda. This child is 4.5 years old. So now we can't do the project because he dumped it all.

The above example is what happens probably 4 out of 5 times.

I try to tell the kids, always ask before you touch. But this means nothing to this child...

HELP what can I do to help this child??

Is this child developmentally delayed?? If you tell him no, dies he understand consequences?? This matters when trying to decide what to do

[daycare]

Is this child developmentally delayed?? If you tell him no, dies he understand consequences?? This matters when trying to decide what to do

yes they understand.....in past months I don't think that they did, but now if I ask the child to sit out from an activity and then ask them why did you have to sit out, they will tell me why they had to sit out......

[Cradle2crayons]

yes they understand.....in past months I don't think that they did, but if I ask the child to sit out from an activity and then ask them why did you have to sit out, they will tell me why they had to sit out......

In that case, hen I understand the frustration. I have an impatient one too and if we are in an activity and she can't finish it, she can get down and free play. But she's much younger than your guy. By his age, he SHOULD developmentally be focused enough to get through a quick activity.

I'd just continue consequences. I'd DEFINATELY in retrospect not put anything near him so he can't turn it over!!

[daycare]

In that case, hen I understand the frustration. I have an impatient one too and if we are in an activity and she can't finish it, she can get down and free play. But she's much younger than your guy. By his age, he SHOULD developmentally be focused enough to get through a quick activity.

I'd just continue consequences. I'd DEFINATELY in retrospect not put anything near him so he can't turn it over!!

thats the thing. I purposely kept the stuff in one container and passed it out to avoid him from destroying our fun again.

[Blackcat31]

You aren't going to like my answer but ALL kids under school age are impatient. That is pretty much what drives them.

It IS developmentally appropriate for that age to be impatient and not want or understand how to take turns or wait.

That is one of the biggest reasons why so many people are against sit down rote-style education for children in the preschool years.

Most don't have the ability, mentally or physically to sit still and wait their turns.

If you do do activities like you are doing, I would do them in a manner that doesn't allow them to grab, reach or bump anything over. I would also make sure my lesson plans/activities are short and physically interactive.

I would also do it in small groups and assign children to specific tasks so they know what their role is.

Keep their hands busy WHILE they are listening to you or watching you. Give them some supplies to touch, feel and get acquainted with while you do the "adult" or "teacher" things. Talk with them. Ask continuous questions so their minds don't wander toward the materials you have laid out.

Things like that definitely help minimize the risk of accidents and spillages.

But it's also important to remember that ALL preschoolers have limited attention spans and BIG impatient streaks in them and I'd be concerned about sending a negative message to a child who IS acting developmentally on target and getting in "trouble" for something he is suppose to be doing at this age.......which is have brain activity and body parts that don't work in sync with each other.

[Cradle2crayons]

thats the thing. I purposely kept the stuff in one container and passed it out to avoid him from destroying our fun again.

Do you use time out?? Or cool off area or anything like that??

[daycare]

Do you use time out?? Or cool off area or anything like that??

yes and no. basically if they can't participate with the group I send them to do something not-so-fun.

I try to only use time out when they hit or are being purposely mean

[Cradle2crayons]

yes and no. basically if they can't participate with the group I send them to do something not-so-fun.

I try to only use time out when they hit or are being purposely mean

Same here, I wasn't sure if he was acting up because he was angry etc or not.

I don't agree with children his age not having the ability to follow directions and wait his turn. All of my kids learn well before that to wait their turn and etc. I expect it and teach them how. However, if for some reason, they can't behave during a short age appropriate activity, they can get down and go to a less fun activity. Or etc. the new little 2 year old of e sibling set only has X amount of patience but she's learning and improving every day.

[daycare]

Same here, I wasn't sure if he was acting up because he was angry etc or not.

I don't agree with children his age not having the ability to follow directions and wait his turn. All of my kids learn well before that to wait their turn and etc. I expect it and teach them how. However, if for some reason, they can't behave during a short age appropriate activity, they can get down and go to a less fun activity. Or etc. the new little 2 year old of e sibling set only has X amount of patience but she's learning and improving every day.

I have tired a million things with this child (i keep telling myself this) it just seems no matter how I do it, it never fails that the child ruins our activities or creates a headache for me trying to help them through one.

[My3cents]

Same here, I wasn't sure if he was acting up because he was angry etc or not.

I don't agree with children his age not having the ability to follow directions and wait his turn. All of my kids learn well before that to wait their turn and etc. I expect it and teach them how. However, if for some reason, they can't behave during a short age appropriate activity, they can get down and go to a less fun activity. Or etc. the new little 2 year old of e sibling set only has X amount of patience but she's learning and improving every day.

I am caught between you and Blackcat on this one. I think it depends upon the child. Some kids just don't have it and others do and want to learn and crave more. I feel it is good to teach this but not hound on it. Know the cues of the child. Boys especially have the need to move and be more physical then girls. Not always the case but it is often seen. I do know teachers appreciate when providers take the time to teach these skills to the kiddo's. I try to balance this out- try.

Example I have one kid that bounces from the time he gets here till the time he leaves. I have another that can't get enough books and information. The kiddo that bounces takes the best nap. The one that loves books has a harder time to settle down because his mind won't shut down and his wheels are constantly running in his brain. I do work with the child that has to move all the time. This child is a Blackcat child. I work with the book reading child he is more of the child you described, able to understand waiting a bit more but he does it with tons of questions and the ever lasting Why.....Why this and Why that and he really wants to know Why. Two different kids. Two different styles.

I feel we should try to teach patience at these ages but also have real expectations for the kids that just can't. I stand on it depends upon the child. They are all so unique-

[Blackcat31]

The average 4-year-old's attention span is still just about five to ten minutes.

4 year olds also have an insatiable need to feel important and worthwhile and do NOT do well in any type of activity that is NOT interactive (where they can touch, feel and help.....anything but watch).

They are becoming self confident and learning about themselves at this age with little effort to think about how their actions affect others.....which is why tattling is so common at this age as well.

It's important to "teach" a child HOW to be patient and HOW to be empathetic and not just reprimand or punish for doing something that they simply do at 4 years old..... which is be impulsive and impatient.

[My3cents]

Same here, I wasn't sure if he was acting up because he was angry etc or not.

I don't agree with children his age not having the ability to follow directions and wait his turn. All of my kids learn well before that to wait their turn and etc. I expect it and teach them how. However, if for some reason, they can't behave during a short age appropriate activity, they can get down and go to a less fun activity. Or etc. the new little 2 year old of e sibling set only has X amount of patience but she's learning and improving every day.

I want to add one thing to this. Home life is a big contributing factor to all of this. IF the child is allowed to run amok at home then the child could have a harder time following directions etc... at daycare. IF a child is taught these things at home you see a big difference in these kids in your care. I do believe that children are able to know the difference of between being home and at care and the rules are different- most are, not all, but if it is chaos at home it does pour over at daycare. I see it all the time. If it calm at home you see that in the child at daycare.

[Leanna]

I don't expect anyone under the age of five to have patience. They are naturally inclined to want to touch everything NOW. If you are doing an activity that has steps or they need information before they do something, they should still be actively engaged while they wait.
For example, we recently had a pet mobile visit our program. The children were allowed to touch each animal but before that, while the woman told them about the animals, they got to handle other objects so they didn't rush up on her & maul the animals. They got to hold a turtle shell, a feather, snake skin, photographs of animals, foods that the particular animal eats, etc. Then, after she told them the facts & they examined the other "artifacts," they got to pet, hold, and/or feed each animal.
If we do a project that has multiple steps, such as baking cookies, I make sure someone has something to do at all times. While one is measuring the flour, the others can decorate little paper plates to put the cookies on when they are done. While one measures the sugar, another child can sift the flour, one can unwrap the butter, etc. I always give the really little ones extra measuring spoons & cups to play with.
To me, this is teaching them patience. No one likes to wait. When adults go somewhere that involves waiting we read, or do crossword puzzles, knit, text people, something to keep us from grabbing stuff & freaking out just like a little kid!

[daycare]

I undertand what you guys are saying. I NEVER expect a child to ever sit and wait for anything, except for the bathroom if it is already being used by another.

I make sure that our activies are usually child lead and I stand by to answer questions or help them when they ask me for it.

BECAUSE I know this child will be going to school in the fall, I am working hard on getting them to learn to wait for instructions. I will tell this child, lets focus on our (project). This child dominates both ends of hyper and a book worm. They love books, they bounce off the walls and they ask a million questions. Hes a sweetheart of a child, just often never in control of himself.

Often more times than not, I will not invite this child to activities like the volcano, because I know that can't handle it. But with school around the corner, I want to try to keep him with the rest of the kinder ready kids. Not just for the learning aspects, but because of the social aspects.

I BELIEVE that a child this age should be able to do a project like this.