DCM of 1yo again

[MarinaVanessa]

DCM of 1yo DCB keeps insisting that I take more time off for maternity leave, my due date is Nov 27. Originally I intended only to take 1 week off (week after Thanksgiving) and use my paid vacation time and have my sister sub for me if I needed additional time after that. She kept insisting that I needed more time off and so I mentioned that it would be a great idea and that I still had a second week at half rate of vacation time in addition to my week of paid vacation. I got a deer in headlights look and an "oh". So then I planned to take the week of Thanksgiving and the week after off. Last week she insisted again that I needed more time off to bond with the baby etc. and I said that for personal and financial reasons I wouldn't be doing that, still she keeps insisting. I was a little suspicious of why and had my theories and they have been confirmed. She wants to take the week before Thanksgiving week off to go on vacation.

The funny thing is that she's trying to make is seem like she's doing me a favor by saying that I need to take more time off, I need to bond with the baby etc. As you all ladies know, the due date is a general date, you can blow a week before or a week after so it made sense to take the week before and the week after the due date off. My mom, sister and fiance can all take time off to help me in daycare if I need more time off and I have explained this to her. She's pressing me to take this 3rd week off and take it the week before the week of Thanksgiving because that's when she wants to take her vacation and trying to convince me that I'm the one that needs it and said that she'll pay the week and that I can "owe" her a week next year :confused:. Where do these people get this stuff from?

Anyhow I was so literally shocked that she could come to this conclusion (cuz lady if YOU want to take a vacation YOU take it and YOU pay the week, don't make is seem that I need to take it AND give YOU a free week). Oy. She caught me off guard and now I have to figure out a friendly and sensible way to explain it to her. Mind you she's a little out there, any suggestions? I could do it my way but that would probably end with her giving me a 2-week termination notice .

[DCMomOf3]

I would put in my newsletter, or in a note/email to all the parents of your intentions. Then I would just say, i have backup care for the daycare for any additional time I may need. I may even go so far as to have a signature line so the parents acknowledge it and, to me, it would make the decision final.

[MarinaVanessa]

Yes, a notice was my intention but not until the 1st of October. But I am wondering if I'm not explaining myself correctly or clearly enough because she doesn't get it. I have had talks with her about this and it's like she can't process the information. I mean, why would I take an additional week off starting 2 weeks before my due date to "bond with my baby" :confused:.

There are a couple of things that she doesn't seem to understand and "get":
A) I only want to take 2 weeks off and have plenty of help should I need to take more time off. If I did need more time off the daycare would be opened for business and I would have a sub (my sister and fiance which are both on my license and have all of the proper BG chacks, testing and CPR certifications that are required).
B) The first week I take off is paid and the second week is half rate as per our contract.
C) Should I go into labor earlier than the days that I give notice to my families for my maternity leave I also have 5 paid sick days that I could use which is also in my contract (in all of years of daycare I have NEVER used my paid sick days) which I am able to take with no notice as long as I am sick or in this case in labor.
D) Also, why would I take off an extra week before what I was planning when it would make sense to take an extra week off after I deliver to "bond with my baby" should I have felt that I needed more time.
E) I could wait until Nov 29th to start my 2 week maternity leave and be closed from that day and re-open Dec 13 instead of Dec 6 and stay open the week of Nov 22-26. If I deliver during this week I could use my paid sick days for those first 3 days and Thanksgiving and the day after Thanksgiving are paid holidays for me anyway AND I have another 2 sick days left in case I do go early the Thursday or Friday before Thanksgiving week but have chosen not to to save the parent's some burden and money.
F) She has already taken a week of unpaid vacation, a second week at half rate (as stated in the contract) AND I even gave her another extra week at half rate which I didn't need to give her (it should have been a fully paid week). This will be her fourth week of vacation that she wants to take and she wants it for free (which should be paid in full since I charge based on enrollement not attendance) which comes to my final point ...
G) She doesn't pay for her childcare ... DCB's dad does (they are not together) so when she goes on vacation and uses vacation time she still gives me the check from dad for the full week and dad doesn't know she's on vacation so she ends up with a credit so that she can work on weekends sometimes or go out or whatever and these are technically being paid for by the dad.

I've already talked to her and have had several conversations with her about how I am not planning on taking 3 weeks off, only 2 and she just doesn't get it. I havn't given anyone the notice yet and wasn't planning to until the beginning of October or even mid October even though technically I only have to give a 2-week notice but I wanted to give the parents plenty of time to figure things out.

[DBug]

This mom uses the same kind of "logic" that my husband does when he's trying to sneak something past me . "Honey, you need a break tonight" really means "I invited the guys over tonight and we'll be up til all hours. Hope I don't keep the kids up!". ::

My advice: don't discuss it with her. Tell her that you've decided that the dates you've chosen will stand. Thank her for her "concern for your well-being", and repeat the fact that you are firm on which dates you will take off. You may need to repeat it a few more times, but she'll get it eventually!

[grandmom]

G) She doesn't pay for her childcare ... DCB's dad does (they are not together) so when she goes on vacation and uses vacation time she still gives me the check from dad for the full week and dad doesn't know she's on vacation so she ends up with a credit so that she can work on weekends sometimes or go out or whatever and these are technically being paid for by the dad.

Wait a minute. Dad pays for the kid? And when she doesn't bring the kid, you let her use this time for weekends? I think that's what she's after. So here's the question for you: Shouldn't you owe dad and not her? If I read the post correctly, she's using you both.

[MarinaVanessa]

G) She doesn't pay for her childcare ... DCB's dad does (they are not together) so when she goes on vacation and uses vacation time she still gives me the check from dad for the full week and dad doesn't know she's on vacation so she ends up with a credit so that she can work on weekends sometimes or go out or whatever and these are technically being paid for by the dad.

Wait a minute. Dad pays for the kid? And when she doesn't bring the kid, you let her use this time for weekends? I think that's what she's after. So here's the question for you: Shouldn't you owe dad and not her? If I read the post correctly, she's using you both.

I thought about this also, but the thing is you'd think that she'd be smart enough not to want to burn me since I know that she's burning her child's dad. I mean, I don't think he knows that she's taken so many vacations on his dime but I do. I have his phone number. It would be easy enough for me to call him to tell him but then why would I? I offer weekend care based on my availablity and whether or not I feel like doing it, it provides extra income for me. Families know that childcare on weekends is not like the kind of care that I provide during the week. We watch movies, eat pop-corn and snack on whatever we have (not like normal super healthy daycare food), have no particular routine (we do what we want to do), and I charge more than I would normally ($5 an hour compared to $3.10 an hour).

My contract is with DCM not the dad. Mom gets a check from dad with the weekly amount of $155 and mom gives it to me. I see dad occasionally as he picks up DCB every once in a blue moon but he has never asked about it. This last vacation DCM took was to be paid at the half rate and he filled out the check for the full amount of $155 AND went on vacation with them (DCD wanted to take DCB out of state to visit his family and the only way DCM would agree to that was if she went also). So he paid for that week and went on vacation with them so you would think he'd ask questions but he didn't.

I dunno, It's wierd all the way around.

Oh and P.S. If DCB doesn't come during a normal week then I still get paid for the full week. I charge on enrollement not attendance so if he's sick or whatever theres no credit. But I offer 5 days free for vacation (which dad paid for) and a 2nd 5 days at half rate (which dad paid for) and her and I came to an agreement (because I also wanted to go on vacation as well as she) so I charged another 5 days additionally at half rate so that she could go out of state with DCD and DCB to visit his family and so I could have a few days off which dad paid for in full.

[MarinaVanessa]

Having trouble finding the right words

I am still trying to figure out the wording of my notice to the parents about my maternity leave. I'm having trouble because although I want to give the families as much notice as possible It's really difficult knowing what to say when all I have is a prejected due date KWIM?

I decided that I'd wait a bit to actually notify them of the dates that I will be closing which is ok as long as I give them at least 2 weeks notice of my maternity leave.

What I decided on is giving them a courtesy notice about how much time I plan to take off, using my paid vacation time, using my paid sick days should I need to, maybe a quick reference as to what will happen should I go into labor during daycare days/hours and something about updating them later as I am further along and know more from my doctor.

I have an appointment with him next week and so I plan on discussing with him what should happen should my due date arrive and no baby, can I be induced? Will I have to wait? What are my options etc.

Once I know more I can try to figure something out. I would hate to give notice for my maternity leave and not have the baby until the end of my maternity leave dates and be stuck having to close the daycare and not get paid. As they date gets closer I'll give out another notice with specific dates, details about if I go into labor before, details about sick days etc.

For those of you that went through having a baby while doing daycare what did you do?

[kitkat]

For those of you that went through having a baby while doing daycare what did you do?

I was due early Sept. of 08. My dcps are/were all teachers, so I only had kids during the school year. I gave parents notice in April as to my maternity leave plans (remember, they were school year only, so I had to give early notice). My notice simply stated I was willing to provide care until I went into labor and that I would be taking xx amount of time off from the day I went into labor. After DD was born, I sent a notice to each family stating when their child/children could return to my care and we scheduled accordingly. Since DD was going to be born so early in the school year, they decided to find alternate care for the start of the school year and return to me at the end of my leave. Had to say, I enjoyed the peaceful week before DD was born I do an hourly rate (I know, I know, I should do it differently, but it's worked out with the family I have now and I will be changing it with any new families). I don't have sick or vacation time, so my leave was completely unpaid. I'm not sure how you would word or explain any of that in a notice to the parents. Just make it short, simple, to the point, and keep in the guidelines of your contract.

Good luck with figuring out maternity leave. I know it can be stressful, especially since a due date is not an exact date Hang in there. It'll all work out. I'm due in March, so I'll be going through this soon, again!

[boysx5]

yes beware when they want to do you a favor it always comes back to bite you

[DCMomOf3]

I would say something like"

As you know, my due date is Nov 26 and I will be working up until I go into labor. I will be closing the daycare for the two weeks following the birth using my paid vacation days for the first week and my second week useing my 50% paid vacation. After the second week the daycare will reopen. If I find I need additional time with my new baby, my sister has agreed to run the daycare for me until I am ready to come back. In the event that I go into labor sooner than expected I will give you as much notice as possible and intend to use my sick days as per my contract."

[MarinaVanessa]

Okay so after the feedback I got and after talking to other providers I came up with something. I was worried that I needed to give specific dates to be able to use my vacation time but it seems that providers just give a general date notice and not specific dates. This is what my handbook says:

Sick/Personal Days
The provider reserves five paid sick days a calendar year...
Vacation
A minimum of two weeks written notice is required by either the client or the provider before taking a vacation.
Provider Vacation
The provider is allotted 5 days of paid vacation within a calendar year at the normal weekly rate & an additional 5 days paid vacation within the same calendar year equal to half of the normal weekly rate...

And this is what I plan my notice to look like. Let me know if you have suggestions or what you think:


Dear Parents:
As you know, I am in my seventh month of pregnancy. My projected due date is November 27th 2010 and I will be working up until I go into labor. In the chance that I should go into labor during daycare hours we will follow our emergency policy procedure which is in your Handbook and this day until the end of the business week will be considered “sick” days and will be paid (up to 5), as per our agreement.

The daycare will be closed for the next two full business weeks following the birth of my child and I will be using my paid vacation as my maternity leave. The first week will be paid at your regular weekly rate and the second week will be paid at half of your regular weekly rate, as per our agreement.

After the second week of my maternity leave the daycare will re-open. If I find that I need additional time off a substitute or assistant will be available until I am ready to come back.

As the date comes closer I will be able to give more detailed information. If you have any questions or concerns, please do not hesitate to call me.
Sincerely,

[Me]

[laundryduchess@yahoo.com]

this sounds wonderful, clear, and tells the parents what your plan is to a t. No way for them to try to tell you how to run your business.

[DCMomOf3]

this sounds wonderful, clear, and tells the parents what your plan is to a t. No way for them to try to tell you how to run your business.

i agree 100%

[misol]

Okay so after the feedback I got and after talking to other providers I came up with something. I was worried that I needed to give specific dates to be able to use my vacation time but it seems that providers just give a general date notice and not specific dates. This is what my handbook says:



And this is what I plan my notice to look like. Let me know if you have suggestions or what you think:


Dear Parents:
As you know, I am in my seventh month of pregnancy. My projected due date is November 27th 2010 and I will be working up until I go into labor. In the chance that I should go into labor during daycare hours we will follow our emergency policy procedure which is in your Handbook and this day until the end of the business week will be considered “sick” days and will be paid (up to 5), as per our agreement.

The daycare will be closed for the next two full business weeks following the birth of my child and I will be using my paid vacation as my maternity leave. The first week will be paid at your regular weekly rate and the second week will be paid at half of your regular weekly rate, as per our agreement.

After the second week of my maternity leave the daycare will re-open. If I find that I need additional time off a substitute or assistant will be available until I am ready to come back.

As the date comes closer I will be able to give more detailed information. If you have any questions or concerns, please do not hesitate to call me.
Sincerely,

[Me]

Perfect!!!