Kids Pick Up Negative Behaviors SO Quickly :(

[Josiegirl]

I had one dcb who didn't want to listen to me when he had done something wrong and I was calling him on it. So he would cover his ears and scream(he has some definite developmental issues anyways). But now most of the other kids do it also. I find it very rude and highly disrespectful. So I told them next time it happens(and every time it happens) I will put them in a chair until they're ready to be polite and listen.
Hopefully in time they'll catch on that it's not an okay thing to do.
Any other ideas?

[EntropyControlSpecialist]

I would firmly tell the child, "No. No screaming." and place them in an area where they could calm down and collect themselves. This would happen every single time without warning. Screaming is disruptive to everyone.

[Blackcat31]

How old is the child?

What circumstances cause him to scream...I know you said when he does something wrong but what is he doing?

[Josiegirl]

The little boy turned 5 in March, he was on an IEP program for awhile. He's so smart in some ways(he's reading very well and adding/subtracting numbers) but terribly lacking in others, such as socially. He also has a very difficult time processing certain things. For instance, he can list off rules very clearly but it's as if he doesn't understand the concept of them.

He could scream about anything, if he's in the wrong mood. The other day I asked him to stop jumping on the couch. He screamed. He'll sit at the lunch table and complain about everything I'm serving and I'll tell him "sorry, it's what's for lunch. If you don't like it you don't have to eat". He'll scream. He doesn't get enough sleep either which doesn't help. The parents are scheduling surgery to have his tonsils and adenoids out. He's extremely dramatic.

He does NOT deal with changes very well. He loved preschool but they're out now for the summer. He and another one of my dcbs fight constantly.

I do separate him but unfortunately he ends up throwing toys, knocking a kitchen chair over, just being a lil bugger.
I am sooo looking forward to fall when my 2 challenging dcbs will be in kindergarten.

I guess there's always one in every group that makes us want to rip our hair out.

[cheerfuldom]

Is he diagnosed with special needs?

He sounds exceptionally difficult for a 5 year old. but if he is special needs, thats a whole nother situation. If you are not trained or able to deal with him, I don't think anyone would fault you for telling the parents that you are not able to give the attention that his challenges require. Have you had a meeting with the parents to go over his behaviors as well as a plan to address them? Does he have a therapist that can assist you with a behavioral plan for the summer?

[Josiegirl]

He's not diagnosed with special needs. His former caseworker met in my home awhile back, to observe him interacting with the others. Of course he was nearly perfect for her. She said to continue doing what I've been doing, what things are acceptable and what is not, what deserves a calming down time, what does not. We talked for a long time and it was helpful.

But, as I said, he attended preschool and that occupied mornings M-F. Now he's here ft and it's challenging. He had a very rough beginning to life but he does great in school. I think he'd do much better with a strictly structured environment which I do not offer. I'm a home away from home, not a school. I'm trying to just hang on until the end of the summer. I've had him since September, plus he comes with his sister and I can't afford to lose them both. The dynamics change when the older school-age kids come back; there seems to be more buffers so I anticipate a better summer with him, even if it will be more chaotic.

I just do not care for the way kids pick up on the negative behaviors so quickly. if one says shut up they all say shut up. If one throws toys in anger, they all throw toys in anger. Before you know it, things have snowballed to the extent I need to count to 100 and leave the room.

And yes, the parents and I have talked and talked about his behavior issues. Sometimes they deal with them at home too. His schedule is not the best. He has a quiet time here but never naps, so he's apt to fall asleep on the way home and they don't want to wake him up cause he'll be a bear. Plus his diet is horrible because all he'll eat is junk. I haven't brought that up to them yet because I feel that's a judgement on their parenting skills and they really do seem to be good parents in lots of ways, they're trying. Hmmm, maybe I should include an article on healthy foods-behaviors in the next newsletter. Good idea Josiegirl!